This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-01-05 00:00:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Jewels Gleam With airs of misty morn come songs so still,
And rays of leaping light push piles of white
While clinging calm pervades the verdant hill
And breaking slow the lavish sun spills light.
Outlandish grace begets a lake of swans,
Adorns the trees whose song is like a voice;
Beguiles, enchants and sways while day is wan
While feather wings reside as heaven’s choice.
A lovely scene like mirrored jewels gleam
And fills my inkless pen with words again
as the muse of my poet’s heart will dream
A dream that writes a verse of swan’s domain
And speaks of them with dignity and flair,
Afloat on crystal glass that lovers share.
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Copyright © January 2012 cheyenne smyth
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-02-07 08:55:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
It is odd what comes to one’s mind when reading an impressionable verse. A book I read called –Mirror Lake- not really on theme, but who knows-
Discecting the poet is always a hearty task. The dreams and –verdant- all work together to create what the –inkless pen- responds with. To assume the inspiration of that around you is tantamount to filling the ink well is a wonderful simile.
The swan- to confess… for some reason they have never done it for me throughout life (although I adore –swan lake- ballet). But, for all of you who speak of them, I have an absolute understanding of their impact on beauty and life… and it works well here.
I found this delightful with an edge of mystery. As a poet to a poet- may your pen always find such inspiration.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2012-02-06 17:57:44
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Chey
I think the clue for me here was "And fills my inkless pen with words again"...
...this one seems like the kind of poem you write to prime yourself for what's to follow :-) An exercise.
This one doesn't have your usual kind of flow, baby.
Mark.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kay C Steward On Date: 2012-01-09 08:53:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I enjoyed your quatrains - light and lovely subject with no faults I could find, perhaps one only; 'While feathered wings (instead of feather) apart from that, well done poet. Cheers, Kay.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-01-06 04:32:37
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Chey,
This little sonnet of yours is simply delicious. Your verbiage gives wondrous mind candy with the visuals you paint and the meter leads the reader through your lines with smooth ease. There is nothing in this that I would change--bravo poetress. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2012-01-05 05:03:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Cheyenne,
I like this poem - the imagery is strong, and that is what moves me most about this work.
I can close my eyes and see the scene you have set here.
My favorite part is:
"A lovely scene like mirrored jewels gleam
And fills my inkless pen with words again
as the muse of my poet’s heart will dream
A dream that writes a verse of swan’s domain"
Great lines about the inkless pen filling again!
Thanks for sharing your work! Nicely done!
Kim
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