This Poem was Submitted By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2012-01-12 05:19:36 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Disarray Conflicted
The thought of it just takes me over
Convicted
The wrong of you does make me wonder
Afflicted
The feel of your skin takes me under
And all reason leaves me
I'm breathless and trembling
The longing
Why can't I just resist your charms?
Belonging
Inside an embrace of warm, strong arms
I'm falling
And tumbling through space, no fear of harm
Heart numb but still guarded
I'm vacant, yet bleeding
The danger
Repeating patterns known for folly
My anger
Still bubbling close beneath the surface
Endanger
My soul cares not for common reason
Just wanting what I want
I'm crazed and seething
Unleash
These chains feel ever tighter
Release
Exhale the breath of pent up power
At peace
No care for ticks or passing hours
Questioning the heavens once again
How did it all come to this?
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Copyright © January 2012 Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-02-01 19:43:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A very unusual poem, one that demands to be read several times and then maybe again so that the reader can gather all the nuances you offer. This speaks to me of life, of relationships, of all that is-- a never ending circle-- so as with all things there is no beginning or end just coming around to meet one's self. Most enjoyable read, well constructed, easy flow with well chosen verbiage. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-01-28 12:12:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Kimberly, such a story as is told from so many angles. Immediately it brought to mind the Dan Seals song “addicted” that I believe brings out the passions of this age old story the best of any I have heard.
You brought it to us so very well. The draw, the passion, the remorse, and the difficulty in letting go of such a passion.
In your last stanza, the remorse for a time is left and we see the euphoria of the “during” that is the consummated draw of it all.
It is a powerful piece that your format of the verse brings out very well- not only the recurring rhyme scheme but the separation built into each individual thought that brings us the contagion.
A very enjoyable read.
This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-01-27 17:08:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Kim,
The longing and pain in this poem is palpable. The form you used to write this piece is quite different but effective. The narrator seems to have lost a love that now only burns in her and not her partner. Your word choices are expressive and your flow is smooth. It is somewhat dark but I like that as dark poetry is easy for me to write. Well done.
Best wishes,
cheyenne
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