This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2012-01-17 11:27:02 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Midnight dreams slip in after then of past of who’s, what’s, where’s and when’s; yet never take you back to them. A kite takes flight shimmers in pure light till gusts of wind or happenstance  loosen strings tied away in one glance. Alone after midnights dreams kept within; out of our realm  of feeling or seeing again.

Copyright © January 2012 DeniMari Z.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-01-22 10:46:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
The kite takes flight – it brought with it the views of what has been. You capture the direction of life –gusts- and the capriciousness of living –happenstance- all in the same stanza. You also show us the observer, the one living the life –glance- that personalizes the experience. The experience of the final staza, that of memories and dreams; keeps pure the first stanza that sets the flight into motion. Between stanza 1 and stanza 3 you sandwich the philosophical viewpoint of the writer, and also by doing so, presents the wealth of the first and last into a framework that is universal. I like this work very much.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-01-18 17:06:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Deni, I like to see this playing with rhyme and sound from you. Keep it going . . . nice one. MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2012-01-18 16:10:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hello Deni, Nice, concise--succinct and says so very much. One small suggestion is to put an apostrophe in midnight's since your use is possesive. I can not choose one line above another for they are all most original and supportive of each. Most enjoyable read, thank you. Lora
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