This Poem was Submitted By: Dellena Rovito On Date: 2012-02-21 18:10:25 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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can we have thoughts without words   is everything a rule of thumb are we categorized, conceptualized  behind our eyes and nothing more   do we breathe any breaths of new or is other's death my rebreath to be reborn again and again then passing from vessel to vessel  do ideas float and catch   hooked on a point in time to revitalize in morning's air              yet lumped with passions spent are we like a clump of weeds  filling crooks and crannies of need  or like a stone we roll to become  a bump or mountain to some are we like the sun that passes  through the planet's skies        unspoken of by unseeing eyes  cause we never really have been  is heart's pound but the beat  on the door of the universe unfolding and we're bits of raisins  in the loaf of bread rising to expand  beyond it all       

Copyright © February 2012 Dellena Rovito

Additional Notes:
Mark inspired me with thought without words.

This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2012-03-07 13:08:54
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Very good, my pretty. You need to step on Mark's tail more often. It takes richness of thought to make a poem like this work and you show it in abundance. The last verse possesses an inspired simile. JCH

This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-02-28 19:01:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This is a fun piece! I enjoy your wit and humor. The message underlying in it is also very deep. do we breathe any breaths of new or is other's death my rebreath to be reborn again and again then passing from vessel to vessel ....seems like you use the word breath too often. maybe use inhale or exhale. Or drawing air. I love the idea. Its a great thought. do ideas float and catch hooked on a point in time to revitalize in morning's air yet lumped with passions spent >>>curious about the words 'yet' and 'spent'. ..are you still thinking birth continuem? If they are revitalized are they spent? Forgive me for tearing that apart, only it stood out to me. I love the last verse! You have taken serious questions and turned them inside out, to the end of the irony of it all. Our hearts beating on the door like we are knocking is a cool thought. I laughed and laughed about the raisins. Maybe we are alot of dough, and we have to keep getting punched so we can rise. ~smiles~ Ellen
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-02-25 07:26:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dellena, Hislop will do that. Even sometimes with his poetry. :) This was tightly wound and carried me seamlessly beginning to end. For some reason I can't help thinking that raisins are kin to what kids call "boogers." Or is it "buggers"? We all know it as "snot." MSS
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Andrew Hislop On Date: 2012-02-22 03:56:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Dellena I thought I caught the reference! But irrespective of that...this is a profound, philosophical piece. I caught myself thinking as I read this "The real question is...why do we give a SHIT about these questions??" Yet we do. Can you imagine a world we where didn't ask? "cause we never really have been"...that really is the clincher. There is NO objective evidence that we actually exist, you know! But truly, I really enjoyed this. I was caught and carried along from the first stanza. Mark
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