This Poem was Submitted By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2012-08-18 02:01:30 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Rest

                                                                  the prayer may rise, or fall fallow.                                                                   it will be as it will be.                                                                   a pinprick of light may break,                                                                   or the dark remain dismal.                                                                   it will be as it will be.                                                                   if it falls on the shadow side of the balance,                                                                   it will be torn, trampled,                                                                    and be burned with the acid of scorn.                                                                    it will be as it will be.                                                                   the inevitability itself,                                                                   the sudden gust, that last blast,                                                                   the gleam in the eye of the owl,                                                                   will be the most intolerable.                                                                   it will be as it will be.                                                                    you used to think it was your failing,                                                                   that He waited for your reason,                                                                   the baffled world gathered for your brain,                                                                   but that was your great misprision.                                                                   it will be as it will be.                                                                   the prayer may rise, or fall fallow,                                                                   and those who know will tremble.                                                                   it will be as it will be.

Copyright © August 2012 Mark Steven Scheffer

This Poem was Critiqued By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2012-09-07 11:02:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Mark, this is a marvelous poem, it is well composed with simple words that make it profoundly successful. I am really pressed for time but I wanted you to know how much I like this piece. Well done. Best wishes, cheyenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2012-09-04 10:45:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
One wonders if a prophet before the fact utilizing what it actually is after the fact is a disclaimer for what should have been. Of the –balance- the –shadow- the –inevitability- the –acid of scorn- one has to presume a level of dependence between the prophet and the action. The image of the –pinprick of light- and the –owl’s ex. (vision)- only stresses beyond the impact a seemingly small light can bring, but also contrasts how bleak things are that the miniscule hope is so bright. Of prayer, I have my own philosophy on the efficacy, on the hope behind prayer, without it –be as it will be- is a dirge set to action. -YOU- and here the author address someone; I assume the reader, maybe the poet, but it can alsow be a secondary watcher who is the object of this message. Either way, good poet, recalcitrant poet, good person, bad person, imaginary object lesson person, here, there, it is obvious that –reason- will not solve the issue and is in itself, an issue ex. (-prison). So, I am back to the prayer thing, the hope thing, which brings the only sense there is to the structure of the message. A strange oddity concerning the use of –prayer- is that your premise remains with prayer or sans prayer, that is - it will be as it will be- and the truth of either courses can never be proved correct or not correct; for the completion of either, negates the possibility of comparison by eliminating the facta probandum needed to reconcile the truth. Therefore is hope given its power; as also prayer becomes its compulsion. I am not sure of a hopeful or doubtful course in this piece, but it is a piece that pieces together both.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-08-29 19:12:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Oooo strong and feverish! I like the repetitive line. It works well here. Your message is delivered! just a couple of things for thought ~ pinprick>> a bump in the read for me. I had to say it twice to make sure that I got it! That was a slight interruption in the flow....could you have used 'glimmer' or something? >if it falls on the shadow side of the balance,< just thinking, now, just a thought that comes to me. I don't like the word 'balance' very much. It feels opposite of the truth to me. How about something like this- if it falls on the shadowed side of the soul but that was your great misprision. < that is awesome! I love the word 'misprision' even if you made it up? no matter, as it fits perfectly. I like this work! This is very nicely done.
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