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Good Night Darling You wonder how I feel this way I hate this fucked up game you play You often try to make me cry Just to justify your lie. I was weak and you knew the perfect things to say and do Any hope you took that too Now I only pity you. I'm finally finding my own way Did you really think I'd stay Forever in this dark abyss Good night darling, here's a kiss Close your eyes and dream of me The truth they say shall set you free Behind those lids you close so tight Inner demons you must fight. I'll tuck you in, touch your cheek Now I am strong and you are weak Pillow placed on your face Hold it tight with steady grace Gentle kisses on your forhead Good Night darling, you are dead. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ellen K Lewis On Date: 2012-10-04 23:06:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
oooo ok! in the honor of the season and in tribute to Edgar A Poe.....I enjoyed this. You should start with some "warning! some readers might be shocked or scared!"
From this writers point of view-
Just to justify your lie.
You used the same word twice....maybe ...just to satisfy your lie? or....only to justify your lie...
But that is one thing. Your rhymes are 'tight' but not forced. Your tempo makes the words whirl.
Thanks for sharing it!