This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2013-02-27 15:03:20 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Time Dangles

By a serpentine stream stands an old shack with a water wheel embraced by trees whose wisp of breath seek to cradle it Shadows spill awkwardly through the leaves in air so still I can almost hear crickets breathe  Somewhere in my pools of memory I have seen this scene before with its bice and vanilla sky like a whisper from the past where time dangles on a dream I need to recall The wheel is silent but I still hear its hum and rush of water that sent ripples through the stream now reduced to a silver ribbon The shack has earned its silence and contentment where only I can hear the echo of its voice

Copyright © February 2013 cheyenne smyth


This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2013-03-03 10:18:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Cheyenne, Marvelous word choices that give a full repast for a hungry mind. With a smooth accomplished pen you've given us a most colorful picture filled with life of its own. This reader found it easy to accompany you on this walk of memory and could feel even the slightest of nuiances... Very enjoyable, best always, Lora


This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2013-03-01 14:23:46
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This poem actually gave me tingles and goosebumbs. Where to be begin. Tech,a nd form perfect. What gets me is how easily I was able to see the shack,see the stream,see the awkwardly spilling shadaws. There are so many fine poetic moments, my fav being stanta 3 in its entirity. Thanks for a great poetic trip to have with my morning coffee. Joe
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