This Poem was Submitted By: cheyenne smyth On Date: 2013-08-08 17:41:47 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!


I am a River

I am a river deep and long who snakes its way on canyon’s  floor replete with snags Don’t dare to cross me echoes warn below my eddies seek to sunder you with fear I’m fastened tight to bends of earth amidst my bed of yearning stones with tumbling cries I own a voice profound but no one hears and ever surging ripples come and go But even time has lost its tone and ticks when twisting curls afflict my plight of sobs forever I will flow to salty waves without respite from nature’s path of souls         A lonely river flows among the sea         when nights and days remain the same in silt

Copyright © August 2013 cheyenne smyth

Additional Notes:
This is a blank verse written in iambic pentameter and no rhyme


This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2013-08-26 11:30:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I have never read a personifation quite like this. kudos on the achievement. It seems however quite sad and almost that the sadness is preordained. it is as if your love flows into a salty uncaring sea.


This Poem was Critiqued By: James C. Horak On Date: 2013-08-08 19:33:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
You may not like what I'm going to tell you but no justice exists in pandering. These two poems you've posted this month are not representative of what I've grown to like about your work. This one is word labored without the lyrical quality I've enjoyed in many of your poems. It seems like you're stepping across a stream on slippery stones. Bring back my lovely Cheyenne. Realize how much you add simply by substituting shudder instead of sunder. Power. Instead of a word that comes with stilts. Don't make we wonder if you know or not that rivers are fresh water (salty waves)and have rapids instead of waves. Beauty is in smooth and you usually are beautiful. Yes, bring back my Cheyenne. JCH
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!