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This Poem was Submitted By: Kimberly D Rowe-Van Allen On Date: 2013-12-10 22:49:51 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Oversight

Oversight I see what you always wish she'd see I've always seen I'll always see I've been what you've always wished she'd be I've always been I'll always be I have what you always want from her It was meant for you It will always be Someday you will know in your heart this is truth And that alone should break you free My soul longs for you My eyes show the proof Too much to bear - no joy, no glee Still wishing, still waiting Hoping soon you'll see me

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2014-01-01 14:17:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This poem reminds me of the movie Gone With The Wind. Were the central character Ret Butler is in love with a heartless women. He never notices the other woman that is deeply in love with him. How she goes through the entire story with out him truly seeing her. In this work I see the hope, feel the passion and understand the frustration. I hope one day he wake up know your love.

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2013-12-20 17:59:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Your broken heart is pouring out in this poem and it's clear that you know you are very special but someone may have replaced you in a relationship and I think you're trying to sort it all out - by comparison. There is no comparison and we shouldn't blame ourselves if someone does not feel in their hearts what we feel in ours. It's a hurdle to jump over and writing will help - You have the means to express your feelings yet I still think you can condense some of this and leave out the repetitive phrases that take away from the impact of emotion you want the reader to feel. That is just my personal opinion and I'd re-work the first two verses to improve what you've already written. blessings, Deni

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