This Poem was Submitted By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2014-03-22 11:52:08 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Old Shoes
Pulling out old shoes
forgotten from long ago
Still good, perhaps a little stiff
yet fit my feet like skin
So why so long in the back
of this darken closet
Keeping the dust bunnies company in
their shared language of the discarded
I take them out
and shine them up
all the while thinking
I should pick up the phone
to call an old friend
and say
“When was the last time
you checked your closet”
“How bout we get together
and talk about
forgotten friendships
dust bunnies
and the dark" |
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Copyright © March 2014 Joe Gustin
This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2014-04-03 12:07:50
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Easily read and appreciated; the wonders we find while cleaning out closets - even things that spark memories are tucked behind their doors.
Good job,
blessings,
Deni
This Poem was Critiqued By: Terry L Krieg On Date: 2014-03-29 12:52:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Very well done piece! When I look at those old shoes I remember so much that was shoved slowly to the back of
the closet! People are back there with the dust bunnies.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2014-03-24 18:17:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joe, what a tempting piece!
The metaphors, “dust bunnies”, and “checked out your closet” are exquisite, I say metaphors because they feel far deeper and an analogy, like they have an entire life in the sol few words.
The finding of the shoes, a metaphor for memories and neglect is also fabulous.
I think, in few lines, there is a volume of Wordsworth poems, lighted and ready for the readers discovery.
Superb. This might be the winner of the month. Well Done!
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