This Poem was Submitted By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2014-10-20 11:25:07 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Time

Time stretches out before me like a naked lover Slowly fluidly telling me to take notice pay heed to this moment created for me by her Too quickly will this end Too soon turning softly to the past

Copyright © October 2014 Joe Gustin


This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia L McCaslin On Date: 2014-10-20 17:58:41
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Joe, I am glad you used the word fluidly--the poem needs it to swim into place and then slowly out of place for the eye. Describing time like a naked lover is a perfect 'now', 'now', now' episode for us to absorb the picture, the meaning, try to get it fixed in place and then to make it slip away, like all things 'now'. It slips into our mind's eye where it lives, perhaps not with the original vibrance and color, but a good proximity.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2014-10-20 15:12:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Our minds do play with the past which becomes the future when you let it...Thanks for the read. If you don't mind I am going to place a poem I wrote called Time not a love poem like your though. Await your response.
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