This Poem was Submitted By: James C. Horak On Date: 2015-01-12 20:20:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Suitor Seeking Justice How intense can another feel a pin prick you cannot?
What brings one's heart to ache in ways silly to others?
Confounded in the deep spaces of love-derelicted thought
Yet trudging on emotional ice even more perilous to hope.
A new name, even a forensic diagnosis, when a tear hits the dust.
A cavity inside, no, but a category given some new pill to treat.
Disease created out of loss that can't be shared with any upper crust
Who have scientifically concluded any intensity to be terrorist. |
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Copyright © January 2015 James C. Horak
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-01-19 11:19:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
A unique treatment of a very old subject. on the mark,hits the target with no remorse. Originality is an almost impossible task when it comes to the horrors of a heart in pain. Yet you do it so well in this effort it is a if written about for the first time. Beautiful
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2015-01-18 10:38:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Excellent structure from choice of verbiage to meter that sweeps the reader through your passages with ease to that final line where one nods head in agreement to the profound message that you've found a way to put words to. Emotions, fickle, fleeting and all too intense at the moment of appearance and yet no other can truly feel the intense prick that the owner does. Truly an exquisite write that reaches to the heart of the reader...bravo my friend, a much-enjoyed read. Lora
This Poem was Critiqued By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2015-01-16 02:43:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
At least from my standpoint, very astutely written. From my concrete experience in medicine it was always a tragic mistake to equate an individual's physical or emotional pain with someone else's or your own or some group's diagnoses. Sympathetically and empathetically you would fail miserably, if at least you cared. I realize you are alluding to a broader subject but this is my joy of being a reader/interpreter and your gift as a writer. And from the second stanza, illnesses/diseases are recognized or unrecognized depending on scientific studies or the biases/structures of the treating. Many auto-immune diseases (rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, psoriasis, ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease, asthma), diabetes, fibromyalgia, psychiatric diseases, and multiple others were at first thought to be psychosomatic and the fault of the patient. Historically, medicine, if it couldn't explain a disease/illness/syndrome or treat it, its first response was usually to blame the patient or individual for its own ignorance and even its inability of compassion. Unfortunately, to some degree it is still going on today. And on the other extreme as I may be inappropriately assuming from you, there are new treatments and pills(for anything and everything) coming out everyday, maybe for some things that need nothing more than common sense, or for a liability lawyer's new BMW or beach house. Your last verse, to me, poignantly includes it all, "Disease created out of loss that can't be shared with any upper crust, Who have scientifically concluded any intensity to be terrorist". Pretty well equally spills/spells it out. Thanks, for sharing and thanks (if you will) for letting me indulge myself. Mark
This Poem was Critiqued By: Marcia L McCaslin On Date: 2015-01-12 22:00:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
James, certainly poetic and creative, giving the reader a chance to look at certain emotions
and reactions in a fresh way. “trudging on emotional ice”—now there’s a phrase to add to my Favorites! I’m assuming, since this is a suitor seeking justice that “disease created out of loss”
boils down to dis-ease, perhaps? The last line is intriguing—and I’m wondering if you have tied it in with your opening line? Even a pin-prick can be a terrorist act, but who is the “upper crust”
who do the ‘scientific concluding’. I hope you’ll help me out here to better understand. Thanks for posting. We need a transfusion on this wonderful site.
Marcia McCaslin
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