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Two Rows Back Two Rows Back He saw her at the dance, standing tall, her pretty oval face serene, as if waiting in a dream for him. He had seen her at the mercantile, buying thread and blue chenille that exactly matched her eyes. She was standing two rows back, behind the younger giddy girls with trailing curls, like fillies, their first romp out. She did not seem to notice how remarkably composed she was, though no suitor came near. It was like she had heard Words of Knowledge and she knew exactly how this evening would play out. He moved closer in. Now he could smell the fragrance of her skin, and he knew without ever touching it, it was cool and would set his mind spinning. She had paid him no mind, neither at the mercantile, nor there at the dance, yet his gaze had been relentless; his heart burned with fever, quite new to him. He had only one good leg, having had the other shot off during the Great War. His new leg was stiff, but having been a Captain, his pants and coat were smartly pressed, and he maintained a certain dignity that set him apart. About then, a waltz started up and he moved a couple of steps so he faced the lady. “May I have the honor of this dance?” he asked. She accepted graciously and they moved toward the dance floor. He knew she saw his stiffness, but what he did not know is that she had had her eye on him, even before the mercantile. She had seen how he commanded his horse and how he treated lesser men, how his face was busy making kind patterns around his mouth and eyes. She had seen how noble he was to the chubby housewives, whose figures sagged from child-bearing and whose cheeks were chapped and ruddy from the endless Wyoming wind. She had decided to place herself just a little out of sight, just a little at a distance. There were plenty of flushing, chattering ladies buzzing around him, but he had a keen, inquisitive eye and she had depended upon it. When the waltz ended, she asked him if he would get her a cool refreshment,thereby setting up a new scenario that would seem only natural for a lady to desire, and relieve his mind from planning a next step. Conversation ensued as did another dance, and it was all the same as in the dream she had had as a child. All of it there, in real time. He took her on buggy rides until he bought his first car. They got married in the fashion of the 20’s—he with the Great Gatsby look and she with the cloche hat and flapper dress. Years later, they looked back and wondered how it all happened. No one really knew, except he was in her childhood dream, and she was hiding seductively—Two Rows Back. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2015-01-22 17:02:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Wonderfully done. The imagination, and a living screenplay. This would make a great vignette. Your descriptions are tantalizing, and since little is known about what they were feeling; your round bout way of describing each action and reaction brought alive their actual feelings.TT
I was lost in the entire piece. The ending, which is also the beginning, brings a realism to it all. This could be seen as an explanation, or a daydream, all in the context of the entire romance.
Really a very brilliant piece! This is a class act!