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Alterations Reading about children who march to the beat of a different drummer sparked thoughts that we too are forging toward individuality separate identities. With single souls like no other; nor heart nor ears which feel or ever hear the same things. This world meant to be aligned in order by structured settings needs change and change again to fit solitary happy endings. |
Additional Notes:
Probably the first whole poem I've written in quite a long time -
Please help out and have a go at it to help me settle back in sync or something ....
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2015-03-21 09:17:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I can see where you are headed with this. However, I think you could loose some of the little extra words (the, a, that, etc) which are not needed and tighten this up a bit...MHO. Nice flow but thought pattern appears a bit scattered... I definitely can relate since I also haven't been writing much of late, my best to you always.