This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2015-07-30 09:37:24 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Listen I will not paint flowers
within my words for ears
Which are
conditioned by frailty
or offense
Who cannot
swallow the truth
Flee
at the first note of contradiction
All concepts through life
should be heard
Pretense of our universe must
shake like a mighty earthquake
To waken those whose minds sleep
enough through each day
‘till they tire then creep
blindly in to the comfort
they need to keep
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Copyright © July 2015 DeniMari Z.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2015-08-15 01:39:38
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
You completely captured me with your opening verse and I was not let down by the rest, except that there wasn't enough (a compliment: to be able to mesmerize and capture the audience, and to know when to exit the stage, is a special poetic gift). Very nice read and very strong post. I do sleep too much, especially when I am awake. Thanks!
Medard
This Poem was Critiqued By: kevin Dunn On Date: 2015-08-07 16:55:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Yes Deni, It has been some time sinse I was here, but I remember you writings and enjoy every one. This is no exception. I would change nothing, it is just perfect as it is written.
My favorite line. "All concepts through life
should be heard"
Kevin Dunn.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-08-02 12:07:33
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Very interesting framing of images in the poem. The stand out for me is S1. And S2 contains a very universal truth. And the premise of the poem is thought provoking, and well said.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2015-07-31 16:34:00
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
This one is something very different than your usual and I really like it. The flow, the wording, and the depth is phenomenal... a most enjoyable read. There is nothing IMHO that I would change about this... it has that quality to resonate with the spirit within. Bravo, flowers at your feet my dear. Best always, Lora
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