This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2015-08-18 12:07:59 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Burning Babes

A season that sways in  softly as gentle tips upon piano keys bringing countless blazes; day dreams to peaceful ocean breezes fancying ideal "Summer" supreme, overlooking children  born to poverties scheme. Shabby weather-beaten bricks draw heat from the sun eagerness on small faces  yearning for someone to place a small coin or two they may need If for only one tiny cup of a flavored ice-cream An indulgence they lack  while they move through each hot spell trapped in filthy dumps like cells never to see any ocean waves swell. We marvel at the sand and sea  sated by salty idyllic air unscathed by children in vast cities who seem to know every year that none will truly care.

Copyright © August 2015 DeniMari Z.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Medard Louis Lefevre Jr. On Date: 2015-08-21 01:07:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.88889
Gorgeous. The true poverty of our soul is revealed by how we treat and look after our children. Lovely and stark imagery to accurately describe a horrid scene. Perfect ending. After so many millenniums and so many different civilizations it appears that we will never change. A very good and focused piece. Thanks, as always, Medard


This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2015-08-19 20:34:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
Your opening lines are as original as it gets. Yet from that idyllic place you take me to city were the heat is as unforgiving as the cold of other's indifference to your burning babies. Just a coin or two stands in the way of some joy because so few really care. A very emotional piece articulated with a firm gentlness
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