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Time Time stretches out before me like a naked lover Slowly fluidly telling me to take notice pay heed to this moment created for me by her Too quickly will this end Too soon turning softly into the past |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Lora Silvey On Date: 2016-08-30 15:34:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
I like the description you've given
the emotion of which you speak, likening
it to a female, very clever--every well
executed. I do wonder if perhaps in the
last two lines you could change one of
your "too"s to another word so you aren't
duplicating the word...just a thought. A
very enjoyable poem, well penned. Lora