This Poem was Submitted By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2016-11-05 11:57:22 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!
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Autumn Tambourines Traveling down this long beautiful road while
flipping pages through my mind.
The Autumn breeze blows through the trees
shaking the leaves like a thousand tambourines.
I watch the sun reflect
off of golden to red hues
all around me
I feel complete.
Into it's beauty I move
spellbound by
the enchanting view
Thankful that my eyes can see this magnificent sight
surrounding me -
The sky at night changes
when the sunset
falls into deeper blue
elegant shift
to desired nights
when
the air is cool. |
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Copyright © November 2016 DeniMari Z.
Additional Notes:
Second revised poem I wrote in 2004 - All critiques are appreciated -
This Poem was Critiqued By: Ashni Irey On Date: 2016-11-23 09:19:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Such a lovely peace-inducing poem from you, Deni. I can see and hear the leaves shaking on the trees like the movement of tambourine bells. Really a very lovely and original phrase that is the very essence of this write. The imagery is quite lasting.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joe Gustin On Date: 2016-11-11 15:03:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I could actually feel the flow of this work. Your words like the autumn wind you describe took me on a wondrous ride. The leaf and tambourines reference , pure genius. So my only criticism would be that it was not long enough.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Tony P Spicuglia On Date: 2016-11-10 08:48:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Deni, as beautiful a piece as can be written- and its tenderness and melancholy are offset by the accentuating of the blessing over the difficulty.
That book, your book, of pages turned, is obviously a good read. Your final stanza is so filled with single lined metaphors that itself is breathtaking;
The sky at night changes – both of youth to age, ideology to ideology, beginning to end game.
when the sunset – the culmination of this life, yet also the book read, where the sunset is colored in many hues of appreciation.
falls into deeper blue – of the end approaching and its calling recognizable
elegant shift – appreciation for what awaits without deprecating what has gone
to desired nights – the sleep to come for the weary, once again with an appreciative tone.
when, the air is cool – when you coined that line a coolness flows over an attentive reader and it feels good. no fear, just the feel of relief on a warm day.
A fabulous poem, each stanza perfect!
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