This Poem was Submitted By: Mandie J Overocker On Date: 2000-04-10 01:48:48 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Growing Up

Stomping her feet Eyes overflow Tears stream down  Flushed and swollen cheeks Through grinding teeth Clenched jaw and fists Screams and howls of rage  As teeth bear into her lower lip "I HATE YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE! Words to her mean Nothing what they say She just wants to know What ever did she do? "Why do you hate me? Why don't you care?" And she thinks as she looks in the mirror Why would they love me? What do I have to love? Why would they care? Seconds spent striving for attention Minutes wasted for exactness Days lost in endless starvation Years gone by stuffing emotions The drive for perfection consuming The strain for docility her goal Once a spunky little girl with a spark Now a refined and obedient young lady Emotionless  Numb Empty Alone Yet as quiet as she seems Inside she continues to rage And although she withers away The battle wages on Screaming loudly just to be heard Shaking her fists in the air Clenching her teeth and holding her breath Stomping her feet to get attention. Understanding smile Calm and soothing Warmth surrounds Unconditional love Standing through Her stormy words Lightening screams And thundering cries By her side for life As only a mother could be Giving and lending Her hand and her heart Beginning to feel things long lost  In the blaze of youth Memories fall through,  As embers of truth  Adolescence seems to shatter Hopes and expectations Rage turned inward  Attempting her life A whole bottle swallowed A knife to the wrist Lights flashing over As tubes go down  White fades to black People unknown Caring showered upon her Reminding her once again An inner voice begins to peep through A warm and assuring sound Unconditional love for herself Seems foreign and absurd Until a friend, a loved one comes Her mother once again By her side so beautifully And caring strokes her face Looking in her eyes  A mother can only see Feeling her pain and confusion And straining to set her free Suddenly there is release A baby bird flaps its wings in flight Shooting upward in the sky  And no one by her side Embracing for eternity  Yet somehow letting go Watching a beautiful lady emerge From a numb and empty shell Growing into herself Gaining confidence each day Learning to laugh  And sharing her tears Caring for others So selflessly Something she learned Along the way Holding the hand Of others so young And comforting raging  Yet familiar tears Fulfilling a promise she made to herself Providing a hope she wanted to feel In dark days of long ago She embraces a sullen child Smiling and rocking Calm and soothing Warmth begins to grow An unconditional love                     - To mom with love, now I understand.

Copyright © April 2000 Mandie J Overocker

Additional Notes:
"Nothing what they say" - there is no spelling mistake in this line. this poem began in an image of a screaming child throwing tantrum. yelling iside my head and wanting to know why i didn't take better care of myself. thinking this was another "inner child" poem, i began to write and realized it is more a tribute to my mother.


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