This Poem was Submitted By: Jolene M DePonceau On Date: 2000-12-23 13:32:56 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Snowflakes and Crystals

If only I could jump into life the way I dove into love- surrounding myself with achievement…accomplishment… instead of walling myself in  with fear as dry as the mouth of risk. Yet, the heaviness of need pulls me under love’s deceptive surface where I find that I have no other will than to drown desperately  trying to find that elusive heart chord that rings true with mine. All other ceases to matter so enraptured am I  with finding love for myself from another, to fill the empty hole of me that I will not own. Instead I waste way in denial curling up in it’s teasing and fickle embrace waiting for the fog to bleed under the door as it always does. Like a wave of reality in one longest cold shower where hearts disconnect and my bleeding cannot be stopped. Slowing only to a trickle as the parasite of pain refrains from burrowing and settles comfortably within my chest. Raw and piercing- A glacier intent on the wreckage of me, while my mind sticks to the deception like a tongue to ice. Lost in the dream of snowflakes and crystals- Frozen cold vapors coiled around ring fingers.

Copyright © December 2000 Jolene M DePonceau

Additional Notes:
OK this is one of my deep dark depressing moments but so many try to fill the void within themselves with love from another when the real filler is to love yourself.The fantasy is an illusion like all those romance novels that many women feed upon.Mature love goes much deeper and it is much more fulfilling! Snowfakes and crystals is a reference to all those diamonds us women wear upon our left hands and 'one longest cold shower' is intentional.


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