Claire H. Currier's E-Mail Address: firstname.lastname@example.org
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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Claire H. Currier has given on The Poetic Link.
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|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Claire H. Currier||Critique Date|
|Sweet, Sweet Music||Mell W. Morris||Indeed ants do sing and if you are ever sitting on my deck at night, after the sun goes down, you will hear off to the west, near the entrance of the woods the sound of music that is gentle and sweet.....I often stop and wonder whre it comes from and once I even ventured into the woods following the sound but never found the player other then the air around me.......I have heard the birds singing in chorus to God their nightly songs as well and the beauty created within the lines of this poem are very special indeed. Structured in true form allowing your words to just begin and continue flowing carrying the reader along in mystical wonder for she knows the truth you tell along the way......love the ocean as well and all the beauty and sounds that come from within its vastness......from the little sea creatures to the great white whales.....the waves splashing, mounting and breaking one larger then before bringing with it sounds of greatness from heaven above.....thank you for posting and sharing this with us. Be safe my friend, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-17 10:05:40|
|The Bandit Queen||marilyn terwilleger||What a tale you spin as you unravel the life of Belle Starr.......actually a very pretty name for a mighty pretty lady.....saw her portrayed on television once in a movie and she was also a Queen of the Saloon back then so it seemed......imagine getting shot at the age of forty? I cannot behold that image for the pain of the bullet ripping through would be more then enough for me....each stanza takes a portion of her life and yourpen just brings it forth....from her birth to her death you did her justice if indeed one can do an outlaw justice.......nice structure, great word flow, images throughout....could not ask for more......thanks for posting and sharing this with us......I wonder what we might have been if the Lord placed us here back then.......guess we would still be living in the woods only we would have out houses with spiders sitting besides us rather then flushing toilets.....what a sight.....bless you my friend for putting up with me.....be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-17 09:04:32|
|japanese verse 25 (Dawn)||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Dawn....indeed a lovely subject to think about...the beginning of a new day in true form-5-7-5 ....morning light as it filter through one's window...sunshine glitters on the morning dew, pink sky off in the distance, what more could you ask for to start your day? Warm as a morning smile......certainly is for there is nothing that puts a smile on one's face then morning sunshine after a night of rain.....enjoyed this very much along with the images projected with the flare of your pen and the thoughts sent forth with your words..as always, thank you for posting and sharing this with us. Be safe and God Bless....Claire||2003-09-17 04:50:57|
|Untitled||Andrea M. Taylor||Caterpillar walk.....now if we could all do that at some time or other would that not cause a laugh or two. Disjointed ripples onward......not a joint in their little body but they certainly travel forth To getting somewhere....indeed they may start early morning light and make it across the road by nightfall.....or better yet climb one of those tall trees nestled back in the yard.....nice little piece here my friend filled with great images and form true to the 5-7-5.....my best to you along with my thanks for posting. Be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-16 16:24:03|
|Silhouette||Andrea M. Taylor||Well it appears to me that others are doing more then two a day but if that is all it takes to make you happy and content then please do so......as with all of your work my friend you have this one down to a "T" as well 5-7-5 format.......most trees that bend and do not break are indeed most fortunate as the years have been good to them as well....allowing the spring in their trunk to react in kind...hehehe kinda like us humans as well......we twist, turn, bend and for some that fall break as with a storm that passes in the night.....but in this case your tree has stood the test of time and remained tall not only in stature but in wisdom as well......interesting version I would say....perhaps way off line but it works for me.....thanks for posting, be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-15 18:50:31|
|Sole Mates||Rick Barnes||Joy to those feet that will not give up that pair of boots that have been their friends forever......though you had me going my friend and the read was wonderful even coming up to the end it brought a smile to my face and joy within the heart....my hubby has a pair of boots just like those you speak of and God help the person that might put them in the wrong place or worse yet find themin the trash....they are golden and should be treated as such.....nicely structured, great word flow my friend and images all along with footprints here, there and everywhere.......a fun piece to read and I am sure a fun piece to write. Thanks for posting and sharing this with us....be safe my friend and God Bless, Claire I love to walk barefoot so I cannot say I have ever enjoyed any pair of shoes, sneakers, boots or whatever but if I had to think real hard and dig real deep there once was a pair of red spiked shoes that make me grow three inches.....yes, I did like those allot......to find such a pair today is not to be done.....at least here in Tully...hehehe.....have a good night Rick.....||2003-09-15 18:35:22|
|Class and Style||Mark D. Kilburn||Mark I just love the lighthearted feeling one gets with this read......and the memories it brings forth to my mind of a few concerts I attended both in my youth and just a few years back......I was fortunate in that I saw Elvis when he visited Providence, Rhode Island.......the seats were grand and the crowd had style but so did the performer....grand style as he sang one hit song after the other.........he died the following year........I saw Bobby Vinton once at a dinner show with my in-laws and that was pretty neat....different in form but still very classy......my mother in law was besides herself when he came up to our table and sung.....Kenny Rogers I have seen a few times and he always performs in great style and his voice touches my heart........he also does a wonderful Christmas show which I have seen twice.....sat in the second row from the stage and boy he was that close.......the last to mention being George Strait.......loved his movie Pure Country and the songs within that piece so I was besides myself when he came to the Centrum in Worcester and the hubby said we could go....I so love country music and all performers no one in particular other then Kenny, George and a few more......so this poem of yours certainly has hit home.......structured very well, words flowing as the river before it bringing with it the joys one finds when they are at home......like the was you repeat certain words throughout as well and this gives it a musical effect as well. Thanks for posting and for allowing this reader to go back in time and to share with you what brought joy to her heart when she was young, in love with Steven (first hubby) and have tucked these memories deep wtihin the lining of my heart. Be safe my friend and I look forward to your next poem.....God Bless, Claire||2003-09-15 18:30:10|
|Our Bullets are Bigger||Karen Ragan||Hi Poet: This poem reaches out in truth thus appearing within the lines. Through the eyes of a child, the little ones who are always so innocent in their thoughts and actions ...having not a thing to do with this event yet effects their entire future without a doubt. The stick men and purple bullets says a lot when drawn by a child. A large flag of white, purple, and blue, tells me something is so wrong here and without really knowing it this child made a profound statement with his crayons...."Americans fell to their knees, reaching up for God's hand of strength"..this line is very good poet and too "we win when our weapons are mixed with compassion and our courage and trust is in God and each other." I just love the last stanza where you speak of putting Josh to bed and singing Jesus Loves Me to him. It speaks of faith and trust and love which is so important to every child on earth no matter what their nationality or upbringing may be. Thank you for posting and sharing this with us again. It is not easy to relive much of what happened that fateful day.......I know I was getting ready to celebrate my life for it had been one year to the day that I was dying and underwent open heart surgery.....to this end I am grateful and for those that died I honor their passing......I pray for the families and the children left behind....be safe my friend, God Bless and continue to bless your work. I have visited your site and it is wonderful. Claire||2003-09-15 17:41:36|
|Love is a Trapeze||Denise A McCroskey||Love is a trapeze that you extend to your beloved offering them freedom, flow, movement and grace. Allowing them to soar in the liberty of your love, yet allowing the safety net to catch them if they fall. How beautiful is the dance of two artists flowing together in the labyrinth Free yet bonded, together yet separate, one yet two. Certainly can see the image you have created with the flare of your pen poet.....and to sit below the big top and watch the artist at work on the trapeze is amazing in itself....together they soar theorugh the air as with life, their movements are free, flowing and graceful as it should be....of course there is always the possibility of losing control and ones arm not catching anothers in a certain twist of fate perhaps and the safety net is there to catch them.....as with life and love.....the safety of one's arms are always there to hold you when you are down, out, sick, upset, mislead in your personal feelings as well.....certainly is good the way you have related these two subjects together for they certainly do blend well....and yes beauty is the dance of the two artists whether flying from one trapeze to the other or dancing on the ground below....the joining of two spirits in freedom together yet apart......thank you for posting this with us, for the thoughts you have set forth and the images created for the reader to see and feel as well. Be safe, God Bless, Claire I would not change a thing this is fine the way it reads.||2003-09-15 10:42:25|
|Shadow of Greatness||Mark D. Kilburn||Very powerful Mark, filled with heart......your emotions speak the truth and will touch the hearts of many who read....a poem that should be shared by those in service to this great nation of ours for they too shall be aware of the importance of the people involved here.....there are those that remain behind and were fortunate in their escape as they helped others to escape the falling debris, metal, ash, black smoke that encircled the entire area and the white ash that was a reminder that no one escapes but the dust......this piece in its personal power can relate to 9-11-01 and the war our men and women served in and are still serving in.....the pain felt reflects both......life is so prescious to most of us and then we have those that can not care for if they did these horrible acts would not be taking place world wide.....we pray for peace to come to not only our Nation but to the world itself........one little girl here, one little girl in a poverty stricken country so far apart yet the same....both needing to have a family, mom, dad, brother sister and the most important....love.....for without love peace cannot be joined together. Thank you for posting this outstanding piece which I am sure will make the top of the list again this month. Congratulations on your win my friend.......you certainly were on my list last month. Till next time, be safe, continue with your visions and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-15 10:27:02|
|So Nice||Judy A Badger||Enjoyed the structure of this one poet making for a nice easy read and I like the way you repeat the last line giving it a sing song effect to it as well. It feels universal in effect as well for it could be used to a friend, a lover, a husband, wife even as a child grows through the years and the relationships that form within those years on all counts.....really a well versed poem.....My heart does tell me that even if it could be used for others you most likely wrote this for the very special person in your own personal life and the road you two have travelled in order to reach that heartfelt place....like the effect of the stepping stones as well......and again the repeat of the last line in each stanza just adds to it all. Thank you for posting and sharing this with us....be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-15 07:36:05|
|Right to Life||Rachel F. Spinoza||Sunshine.....what a good choice of a name for this child....for somewhere, somehow, sooner then later I pray she does find some sunshine in her life....the picture you paint is dark and frightening......I cannot take in the full impact of such a happening though I know there are many young mothers out there that do drugs while pregnant or prior to knowing they are then just continuing using over and over again......thus the picture does not change for either mother nor child and it is the child who suffers over and over again............the burns and bruises and the intense screaming real screams......I hope this has not happened to someone you know and love poet for the pain there alone is horrible......I am sorry to say I am at a loss of words though you have structured this very well, your words flow allowing the reader to see and feel the emotions packed within each word, line, stanza......the screamsare further heard and continue to echo long after the read is finished. Thank you for posting, be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-15 01:12:31|
|A Glorious Day||Callie Cothren||Welcome Callie this is a first of your poems I have been able to read and I must say you certainly do paint a lovely picture with the flare of your pen......A Glorious Day is a befiting title for this one indeed......from beginning to end it certainly allows one to take in all the glory of a day filled with warmth, sunshine, beauty and the fading sunset with its lovely shades of purple. pink and blue....... The sun climbs higher chasing away the shadows Giving warmth to the wind that gently moves the trees. I particularly enjoyed the above two lines and the warmth to the wind that gently moves the trees......lovely feeling and lovely motion as well....and in closing the painting of the setting sun does indeed give promise of yet another day filled with beauty to come in the morning light. Thank you for posting this fine piece and sharing the feelings associated with beauty of God's creation. Be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-14 15:51:52|
|Allegiance||Andrea M. Taylor||Lovely tribute to all the victims of 9/11 Andrea and the image of the Eagle in flight with its wings expanded out in true form graciously floating in the sky above with grace and beauty.....the flare of your pen has created such a majestic image....you have the 5-7-5 in perfect form as well. Thank you for sharing this with us and for remembering the victims and the families as well of 9/11. For those of us who had friends within the walls as they crumbled I thank you. Be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-14 08:35:18|
|When Small Frogs Seem to Disappear||Joanne M Uppendahl||This is filled with joy even the finding of the frog on your towel and BLINK...indeed I would have rubbed the old eyes over and over again......though I am not sure about taking the little darling within my hands and allowing him to roam free outside again......though the thought of a kiss in case he was my prince charming might have worked just as well...........hehehe.....your words bring to mind so many wonderful images.....and as you say the little frogs are all but gone at this time of the year and I do not even hear the grandfather bull frog late at night ......and he certainly did his fair share of crooning this summer past......I do notice the crickets are slower then molasses and I have caught quite a few this week alone and when I ask for molasses I must say they do make a mess within the palm of my hand....I kept one for a day in a jar and watched him try his best to reach the outter layer and that night I was good and let him go.......the hornets and bees are slower too so I might agree the early morning dew might bring cooler weather sooner then naught.....nicely structure poem with a great story line that keeps you wanting more and more....so perhaps you might be good to us and bring a sequel in the very near future..... Your heart must be filled with joy to find such lovely things to bring forth for us to enjoy.....be safe my friend and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-13 19:16:49|
|japanese verse 24 (Old Age)||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||When wrinkles are joined your eyes still shining brightly Peace, love , joy remain To some my friend Wisdom is indeed a sign of attaining old age but to others it just passes them by. Mom at 92 just enjoys each day of her life as well as she can......her beauty still shines through the wrinkles added to her face and she often has a twinkle in her lovely blue eyes that not only I but my son inherited. Once in awhile she offers words of wisdom but not often enough though her tales of days gone by are wonderful stories to listen to. Enoyed your piece my friend as always.....I do not write Haiku's but the above is my response to yours.......if you like it let me know otherwise please tear it apart and let me know......Again, thank you for posting and sharing your feelings with us. Yesterday was a day of rememberance to some and for me it was a day of celebration of life as well for it was three years ago yesterday that I was dying and went through open heart surgery........Be safe for the world is still not calm my friend, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-12 07:26:55|
|Graced||Andrea M. Taylor||And your thanks are well taken my friend......as with all other haiku's your form is true to the 5-7-5 beat and I like the way you choose your words for they certainly get your message across.....thank you for returning and for posting, be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-11 10:06:51|
|Echoes From The Sea||Mell W. Morris||Echoes from the Sea is a fitting title for this poem my friend for your words certainly do provide the setting from the very beginning....I stood by once and watched a raging storm from the top of a cliff and I must say it was a wonderful sight....the winds how they howled and one might have thought you could have heard the voices within these howls.......you could bring it all to life......with each high wave that rolled in and out the sounds came and went......perhaps drowned souls do indeed live within the seals on a certain stretch of beach.....the second stanza to me appears to be reaching out further in a singing effect.....since the words just appear to be floating about rather then jumping out....a peaceful kind of read indeed, very nice my friend...bruised moss on scattered stones......nice images projected here as well.....gives one a feeling of not being alone for others have indeed travelled this path before......Do not you enjoy going to places that others have been and I mean from days of old .....like when pirates may have walked the same area of time and space...how thrilling and this poem could do just that bring you far back in time....... as if I'm in a burrow in the ocean bed with cold and golden tones circling my head. A womb-oneness with the sea: my first glance reveals a vast symphony of seals. how anyone can mix cold and golden tones circling my head and make it come out warm and beautiful is a wonder to me though you have done it with this line......as it circles my head......again, beauty in motion. Thank you my friend for posting and sharing this piece with us.......it is well deserving of this months praise and contest.......be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-10 07:46:58|
|Lies and Vices||Mark D. Kilburn||Good morning Mark: This piece speaks such truths indeed it makes one stop, read more then once and hopefully listen to the messages within the lines.......alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, from a very young age many are involved and it stays during life and to break away is most difficult for those that have the hold do not want to let go and allow anyone to breathe life as it should be. I know I started smoking cigarettes at age 17 and it was only to impress this boy with beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair.....of course one date did not lead to two but one cigarette certainly did since the next young man smoked just as much. I wish I never took that first puff for it was with me most of my life.....of course no one does twist your hand when you light up a cigarette like some might do when you smoke a joint or take a different kind of dope that holds on and strangles you at the same time......Deep sadness does run in families for many of these vices .....your structure is good, you tell it like it is and your words flow like the river it is meant to be.....perhaps for some a river of tears, a river of lost souls, a river of despair, and to someperhaps a river of hope knowing when one reaches the bottom there is no other place to go except up and out.....I stopped smoking three years ago during life flight and after open heart surgery knowing in my heart God loved me and was giving me a second change at life and I was not to slap God in the face by lighting one cigarette ever again..............I did see others go outside after such surgery and lite up and my heart broke for them for they would be back within these walls sooner then naught. The pain, aggravation and sorrow to their family would intensify in the months and years to follow.....our soldiers returning home might have taken up a few bad vices while over seas...I know my first husband came home smoking marijuana and he does so to this day though he does not look well these days either. We are in contact once in awhile as he values my opinions I guess.....once loved it is hard to let go. I know we talked more then once about his smoking this drug and he indicated it did ot harm him.....already caught in the trap I guess. He also drank which added to the fuel damaging his body. By watching their dad though none of my children smoke drugs or regular cigarettes. That is a plus for them. I believe our government has failed to help the men and women that have given of their time and life to fight for a freedom which we still are looking for. We are American's, we live in the land of the free, but are we honestly free like we think we are? Only each one of us can answer that question honestly if we choose to do so. You be safe my friend, this one must have taken much food for thought on your part, perhaps you have lived some of it, perhaps not either way it is worthy of praise and should be posted for others to see. Take care, be safe and may God continue to Bless you and yours, Claire||2003-09-09 07:59:23|
|The Lethal Letter||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Fear comes in all forms and the darkness of night seems to bring it out the most yet in today's world with all that is going on both good and bad it seems that the nightstalker does indeed walk in daylight hours and one does not see nor hear them either.......that alone should bring hear to one's soul. The peace we all seek is not for our taking at this time and in God's time perhaps it shall be again given to us.......God does have a plan and if we do not heed His warnings we will all lose in the end.......Dear Freedom Lovers.....a direct approach to the American people who so love to believe we are free.......well, some of us know different my friend.....clones....look alikes of many kinds......that alone brings fear to one's heart for who can you then trust......as with Saddam....there are too many of his face running around this world of ours and who is to say is the real one.......I do not fly and have no intentions of flying other then the time I was life flighted and should that have to be again then so be it.......but to find myself on a large jet liner travelling across this land of ours I believe not.....My children fly to Aruba each year at Christmas time and I send angels, armies of angels to watch and guide them safely through the sky.......thanks for posting this very interesting piece with the monsters that do walk our city streets day and night....images of horrible creatures let alone plain looking men jump out at you and the planes, unfortunately those planes that crashed into the towers and onto the ground are ever so real within your lines. Be safe my friend and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-08 17:30:13|
|A Cardinal View||Robert L Tremblay||Bobby T it is so good to hear from you and to have you post this poem in rememberance of that fateful day brings one to their knees in rememberance and prayer for all those who lost their life that fateful day and for those family and friends that were left behind........I am sure the pain and sorrow is still as deep as it was from day one......some things are very hard to let go yet when there are words that bring comfort it does help. Your words bring forth images, feelings, emotions, deep, sudden and long lasting......thank you for posting this for our eyes and hearts to find again. I pray you have been well......you sound bouncy my friend and that is good. Take good care, drop by again, real soon. Take off your hat and stay awhile we could enjoy your company let alone your poetry. Be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-08 17:20:32|
|Little Man||marilyn terwilleger||I saw your pretty face And wrapped my fingers Around your heart I thought to myself Who is this lady Of great stature That holds me close to her heart Its Great Grand-Mother Twerlleger And do you know what We loved each other Right from the start From me to you with love, Claire Love the poem written for a new great grandson and how proud your words show the deep emotions attached to such a great feast....the Lord blesses His children over and over in life and my dear friend He has blessed you once again and in a very special way. So enjoyed the images brought forth with the words as you placed them within each line. Thank you for sharing, be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-08 15:44:30|
|Crucible Of The Towers||Paul R Lindenmeyer||And in yearly response from the bottom up these men and women climbed those stairs so others might live and live they did....if not for the brave men and women in uniform that day so many others tragedies would have taken place....the pain and sorrow remains though within our hearts as yet another anniversary comes full term. To those that loss a mother, father, brother, sister, niece, nephew, son, daughter and friend, chaplin not to be forgotten.......firefighter, policeman....our heartfelt thanks and our prayers that those you left behind will somehow come to understand in the years to follow just what actually took place that fateful day for to some we still do not understand.....and the war that followed and the losses incurred even further then.......We honor them all my friend as you do within the lines of this piece. Thank you for posting again so that we might take a moment to reflect and remember. I remember getting ready to celebrate a year of additional life for it was a year to the date that I was dying and underwent open heart surgery.....I cannot tell you my feelings at that point in time for they just seemed to stand still as with all others who could not believe what our eyes were seeing.....be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-08 11:49:31|
|Suicide Note Of A Seaman's Wife (Revised)||Drenda D. Cooper||Indeed sad, very sad and the form you choose to express it works so very well and the words, they just seem to float as if on the waves that carried her out to sea so she could be with him always.....sad, yes, his loss forever to carry within his heart and on each voyage he travels to hopefully find her somewhere within the deep blue of the ocean he travels and longs to call home......I enjoyed all parts of this read no matter how sad it felt within and the images you send forth with the flare of your pen......my husband served in the Coast Guard and was gone for a year at a time so her loneliness I understand, her missing and wanting him to remain ashore that too.......yet it does not always work out that way. Thank you for posting and sharing this emotional piece with us.....I do not find any way to offer suggestions for improvement for to me it stands so very well on its own. Be safe my friend and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-08 11:43:27|
|Lunar Spoofs||Joanne M Uppendahl||my dear friend....with each moon effect you bring joy to one's heart ... New moon wearing your veil to stir oyster beds, rouse your sea children from sleep. love the beauty presented with the New Moon.......as if playing a game of hide and seek, wearing your veil to stir oyster beds, sea children from their sleep.....how lovely ........and one can see the little sea children stiring as well....bless your heart..... over and over again your bring forth such wonderful feelings, images and encounters for as I stand on the deck outside my living room and gaze into the night sky I find the harvest moon with its haze of warmth around it and the golden shades that follow while the fireflies dance in the field and the little criters sit in the meadow fearing not a sound they hear......I long to dance some night under that harvest moon, perhaps naked in the open field just to feel one with nature again.......wow...better stop while I still have my clothes on ......lovely my friend, your words, the structure, the intense feelings presented and yes the joy felt within one's heart as well.....you never disappoint with your reads. Be safe and God Bless, Claire......bless you for posting and sharing this with us.||2003-09-08 08:51:04|
|Departed Spirits||C Arrownut||His spirit shall live forever within the lining of your heart and the images you set forth with each line certainly reflect that......there are so many wonderful images and memories of this fine man I assume is your dad........enjoyed the way you brought his love of the world around him within your circle of love as well for all of it was a part of his life that still remains behind. My dad has been gone for forty years and at times it seems like just yesterday he dropped me off at school for the last time.....the next I knew the priest from our church was coming to the high school to pick up my brother and myself as my father had just dropped dead without a warning. Sometimes that is a good thing for they have not suffered through an illness which has lingered and one in which you have watched them fade away in pain and sorrow.....yet the quick removal from one's life is so difficult. Dad too had a dog which mourned him in great detail and though it was a small dog its loss was deep. There are no easy ways of letting go of someone you love.....just know he has gone to a much better place known as heaven and yes my friend it does exists for I have travelled that road and returned.......it is a place of peace, love and joy like none felt here on earth below and it is not all that far.....just the closing of one door and the opening of another.......there is no pain in death either if that might be a concern of yours.........there is though enless joy in the love of God. I enjoyed your read very much and your structure was in good form as were the words choosen to represent this wonderful man that you present with such care and emotions. I pray your mom is doing well now and that her pain in the loss of her husband eases over the months and years to follow....I look forward to more of your words in your future postings and till then be safe. God Bless, Claire||2003-09-08 07:58:50|
|Hamburg Haiku||Michael J. Cluff||from the title I expected something different my friend.....though you have this one down pat.....the 5-7-5 is perfect and the images of greatgrandma and son are just fine.....thanks for posting, be safe, God Bless....Claire||2003-09-05 20:12:16|
|THE DEVIL'S DUE||Mark D. Kilburn||Mark I have written you twice now and even sent a copy of one sent last month....hope you are well, you are in myprayers.....at thi point in time my mind is empty of thoughts but I did want you to know I read your poem, found it to be worthy of praise...and I see you are doing well on the list of winners this month...depression is a horrible thing to face, live with and try to remove from ones life......you take care now, a one for this would be good for me......if you want to write please do so......looking forward to hearing from you...be safe my friend, God Bless, Claire||2003-09-05 20:03:26|
|Each Morning I Begin Again||Joanne M Uppendahl||Good morning my friend....thought I already critiqued this one .......a challenge from Sandra....I'm not even writing these days let alone answering a challenge.....wish my brain would allow me to recall your original poem but it has not and I can honestly tell you that I do like this one.....structured well, words that bring forth images and morning coffee smells....the sting of the shower....how refreshing after a nights sleep. Daybreak spouts like joyous water-- spirited and clean. nice closing stanza referencing daybreak ....joyous water spirited and clean.......for most part it certainly is.....and to me there is nothing more refreshing then a bubbling brook with its cool refreshing water to brighten even the weariest of souls......thank you for responding to her challenge and I am off to find your original work......I so enjoy all of your work my friend and this one is no exception. Be safe, and may God continue to bless you....Claire||2003-09-04 08:34:17|
|Waiting in the Cradle (revised)||Rachel F. Spinoza||nice revision Rachel... Amanda, tender in her skin Extends a leg, and I suppose The tiny dimple in her knee As apt to change the universe As Cleopatra’s nose Amanda.....as good a name as Cleopatra's anyday..... tender in her skin......makes one think she is about two years old perhaps a tad older......tiny dimple in her knee is seen as she extends her leg.....and for what purpose are we extending this leg perhaps in dance form? Now that would be enough to change the universe indeed.......like to see the comparison though to Cleopatra's nose......well done and the images projected are superb. thank you for sharing this revision with us....be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-01 09:55:46|
|Freeway||Rachel F. Spinoza||Do you have access to these things my friend? Freeway near your own home, rag man and little boys in comparison.......I am missing much here in the country for I never hear yelling in the night and not even the sound of a train whistle as it passes through town......your piece is structured well, your words allow the reader to see the rag man placing him within the sidewalk cracks stomping on spiders as he chants....gotyou got you and the pilars red and black......significant of certain things I would imagine and then the little boy in wonder of what is appearing in the night sky ...the planet Mars....and his excitement perhaps in sharing it with him mom......lookmommy lookmommy.......one little boys excitement and dreams perhaps for the future compared to the rag man's loss dreams of his youth and his present situation......thanks for sharing and I hope I have not crucified your intentions though this is what has been presented to this reader....thank you for sharing and I hope those little boys and girls that might find this know in their hearts that dreams are made for turning into reality so onward with that Mars showing and space travel for future astronauts......be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-09-01 08:20:32|
|japanese verse 23 (Tide)||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Crescent calms the sea It softly combs the surface Far from shore to shore How I so love the ocean.......and to sit and watch the waves as they roll in over and over encircling the shorline as it breaks, the foam which comes in with the larger waves and the soft lapping with the smaller ones......it certainly does comb the surface and perhaps reaches out to the universe in the process as well for the mist lifts and goes as it will......shore to shore, time has no meaning nor does space when one is involved as this motion process continues........love the view received with this one my friend and again I can see the hand of God as Cretor of all things including this majestic beauty we call the sea/ocean....thank you for posting and allowing me to respond in kind. God Bless and be safe.....Claire||2003-08-29 12:11:41|
|PEACE AND SO MUCH MORE||George L White||To feel the breath of God as He kissed one's cheek as you laid dying in His loving arms....you talk about peace, love and joy, it was all there.......love the structure of this piece and the words in how they flow like a river gathering as it goes.....the images projected from the flare of your pen stand out within each stanza.......and in the ending, the ever present peace of God which is brought forth by His angels......a never ending present of glory.....you present much food for thought as well my friend .....I am certain many will benefit from the read of this one alone....thank you for posting and sharing this with us and in my opening line I did feel the breath of God as I laid dying in His loving arms.......and that is a story I love to share with anyone who wants to hear.......be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-26 14:45:29|
|Soul Mate||Mell W. Morris||Good morning Mell: Your words are well structured which bring forth the opening being emptiness of being without a soul mate....I hear people talk of one but at present have not a soul mate for if my husband was he would not make me cry like he does......it pleases him I am afraid when he can make me upset and cry.....not a nice thing for a soul mate to do..... like the wasy you used whispers from the hert...though perhaps the workd the before whispers could be eliminated...just a silly thought on my part.....actually it is those whispers from the heart that make me whole.... too often people around us speak more of themself then of others, of what they just bought, whre they have just been, what they are doing next, their recent raise when some are out of work.....over and over one finds this is certainly a 'me and my' world.......no joy in that either....... In closing as with your work here within the lines indeed one can and does at most times get blended well into someone's work thus two hearts become like one and at times a relationship of minds is formed and you know where you can go to find the peace and joy one seeks rather then the open splatter like sometimes brings....thanks for posting, for sharing this with us......it certainly has been interesting and inspiring. Be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-25 08:10:29|
|Symphony||Debbie L Fischer||lovely way to end a day...relaxing on a back road with the music softly playing your favorite tunes and the fireflies dancing around you....such images you present with the flare of your pen my friend and the structure which allows for such a good read.....makes one want to go out and ride for hours in the night air on one of those back roads that surrounds my entire area.....thanks for posting, be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-22 09:12:35|
|An Immodest Request||Rick Barnes||For in the darkness I feel your touch, soft, gentle, caring as you always are, the lace that holds me together please remove as you go.......my love for you runs deep within what lies before you so please enjoy the taste, smell and sight as you find comfort within my soul......Rick the poem you have written and placed before us to find such beauty in fills my own heart with joy........the structure is wonderful as your words burst forth with such images of ectasy and not in such a physical sense but in a joining of two souls together as they are meant to be.....I know this critique is way off for me but this is what I felt as I read your lines and to be honest I wanted more........thank you for sharing your feelings and emotions as you have in this one....it is on my list of most favorite for this month. Take care, be safe.....good title too .... and God Bless, Claire||2003-08-22 09:10:00|
|Charge of Discrimination||Debbie Spicer||Debbie your work within these lines are felt by this reader and just recently......my mother in law fell and we found her the next morning though we are not certain when she actually fell. She did not break any bones but she messed herself and it was formig to her body. The lady that had come to give her a morning bath refused to help clean her up and the ambulance was on its way....I hurried, washed her as well as I could and she was basically clean from feces when they arrived though her nightie still had it on her.....they reported me for neglect....for seven yeaars I have cared for this woman 24/7 and have paid to have others come in and bathe her in the morning, her house was clean but still they reported me...the hopspital carried it one step further......I tell you I was taken back with the system and how it works ...when her doctor approached me I asked him to stop and listen to what I had to say before he too got the wrong impression.....there are no sores on this woman's body, she is in good health yet because she had rug burn on her face, her had and side she has been neglected by the one person that loves her the lost, me.....okay so she stayed in the hospital for a week and is now in rehab whichis good since they will help rebuild the strength in her legs for when she comes home it will be her and I but she will come home no matter what they say.....they are lacking authority there....they can destroy your emotions all they want but they cannot run it any further.......oh I know they can if they petitioned the court but honestly she was not abused in many matter nor was she denied bathing or personal care.......so feelings and sputtering of others mouths are indeed discremination and in the worse way possible since they hurt and don't care. Enjoyed the way you structured this, your message is loud and clear and your words certainly do bring forth feelings and images. Thank you for posting, I am sorry for your pain and be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-21 15:25:23|
|japanese verse 22 (Water Lilies)||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||true to form 5-7-5...for this you certainly have great knowledge of.....the visions escaping this one my friend are wonderful and for those that do not know of the water lilies I feel bad for since they are so beautiful just growing and floating about as they desire.....that the frogs...I assume you speak of the big of bull frogs here within the lines....for I hear them every night, across the open field, and at times they come out and jump the road on a wet and dreary night......but yes most night they sit on those lilly pads and look to the heavens with their songs that the Lord gave them to sing....thank you for sharing this with us, it is a pleasure as always to read your work. Be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-21 08:36:17|
|Bridge of Tears||Michael Bird||It is never easy letting go of someone you love and your words and images are haunting indeed......to love and be loved and then separated by thousands of miles, never to be again.......it is good that you want to go back and pick up the pieces of your life and then head in the opposite direction......like the way you used fireflies and headlights which both sparkle in the night......nice metaphor....good structure as well my friend and your words flow bringing forth images as one reads..... You have brought forth the presence of the warm summer night, the walk, the stopping on the bridge and the thoughts presented within your own heart come forth to you......a yearning for what once was and now you know it no longer can be.....still very sad but I hope you are able to go on for life is good.....thanks for posting, be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-08-20 18:50:58|
|Home Town||marilyn terwilleger||My dear friend this one touches your soul......deeply it does and the images in closing is so very hard to let go....in opening you describe such a wonderful place to live, the young man himself growing there from little child to a twenty four year old (still a child in a mother's eye) and called to war......to a land so far from home, so all alone, he died alone.....of course you know his angel was by his side to take him home so he really did not die alone (just had to add that little info for it makes me feel better to say it)......the impact of the depth of loss one cannot say enough about....how tragic and i pray this is not your son you speak of my friend.......a mother and father's worse nightmare is to lose a child no matter what age and so alone as this.....the structure is good and allows for the words to just keep flowing and painting pictures as you travel through the little town and his life.....Thank you for sharing this withus, be safe and God Bless, Claire||2003-08-20 08:18:50|
|Waiting in the Cradle||Rachel F. Spinoza||Good morning poet....what a lovely way to start my morning......Amanda, waitingin the cradle....the opening lines put a smile on my face knowing Amanda to be oh so young with her baby soft skin and the dimple in her knee.......tiny as it may be its there for a reason and who knows what? to make a mark on this workd of ours,..nicely done...enjoyed the structure for the words just kept flowing, the thoughts of Cleopatra and Helen added to the closing lines......thank you for sharing this with us. Be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-20 08:12:17|
|My Hero and Star||Susan J. Certo||Poet what a tale you weave with the flare of your pen and you left me wanting just a bit more....perhaps you have something further coming along......certainly hope so......nice structure, great word flow, super rhyme as well.....images along the read there were more then a few and your way of bringing forth each phase of this journey was just right as well.....I for one have no suggestions for it stands ever so well on its own though I do thank you for posting and sharing this with us......My hero and star.......nice title as well.....be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-17 17:03:03|
|Chameleon||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Erzahl, I like what you paint here and the colors and images are so bright and vibrant.....I get the feeling the last stanza kinda eliminates the chameleon though and that saddens me somewhat.... The lines about all chameleons to me is more of a social statement...... We all tend to hide behind some kind of mask do we not at times? Colors are pretty to hide behind as well......have I ever seen a real life chameleon? I wonder.......Also, some have a tendency to perceive others by their colors. nice structure, good word flow and metaphor works for me....be safe, thanks for posting, God Bless, Claire My colors are earth tone so I guess I just blend in with the earth and nature.......no one can hide there so it seems to me......||2003-08-15 16:33:32|
|Let Us Protect You||C Arrownut||Who am I to tell you the language is not tasteful but it is not for all readers therefore I would eliminate the swear words.........basically the message is the same but the tone of voice is harsh......I enjoyed the first one much more......your words do bring forth images of the search for the cleaner, the vacuming process itself and the dust as it empties all over the place......in that manner I would say good job.....you invited comment poet and I must honestly tell you I appreciated the original one more. Did someone offer you these suggestions in response to your original poem? Thanks for allowing me to respond to this poem....be safe, God Bless, Claire Hope you were not affected by last nights power outages.....that was frightening in itself||2003-08-15 07:46:46|
|My Alter World||Traci L DeGraffenreid||We all have another world we might want to live in my friend.....one that has no pain, no sorrow, no hard choices to be made but unfortunately that is not reality.....today is my dad's birthday and he would have been 94 if he did not die forty years ago.....I would definetely paint him alive in my other world since myt mom is still here at 92....can you imagine? I can.....love the way you structured this too and the choice of words that bring yor other world to life....good job.....images do reach out and touch one's soul......would be nice to make our dream world a reality....thanks for posting, be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-14 08:19:00|
|Sudden Momentum||C Arrownut||Nice structure and good word flow allowing one to be brought into that clean, polished room...been there so many times and then the old vacuum is brought out......those dam bags......huff and puff and then POW they burst open with furry causing the floor to contain all matereals not just from today's sweep but others as well....there goes the shine.....brought a smile to my face as I read for I honestly have been tehre many times....thanks for sharing...sounded like you were playing an instrument along with the word flow which added to the read...good job poet...be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-14 08:14:57|
|Drivin Me Crazy (No "G" intended)||George L White||Hi George and welcome...I have not seen any of your work before and this one certainly brings a smile to my heart......love the Chevy to begin with and the lady who is 68 and so spunky.....well your structure is great, the words and how you play with them are superb allowing images to grab and hold......actually I could see the little lady or big one as described climbing over you to take control........the expression on your face was something to behold.....it reads so very well and just keeps flowing......love the ending without a license as well.....really good job poet and I look forward to more of your work. I only question the word steered.....did you intend to type in a different word such as steering? Just a thought on my part.....again thanks for posting and be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-14 08:09:18|
|MY VIEWS AND PHILOSPHY||cedric napti walters||Cedric , great information stored within the lines of this one...though it is too lengthy to be considered a poem it still makes for a great read...have you thought of cutting it down into different aspects of work.....it would be good that way too. It does read more like a journal in form and it certainly holds this readers attention perhaps even wanting more......your dedication to your wife and children adds to this piece as well.......thank you for sharing this with us, I look forward tomore of your work on the link......be safe my friend, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-13 19:21:45|
|Wings||marilyn terwilleger||God give me wings to reach out and hug you for I know You are there within my reach........... Wings....when I read...God give me wings I see those long fluffy extensions reaching out before me fluttering in the air....lifting me higher and higher until I am above looking down below......therefore I am free to pass through most every obstacle that has been placed in my way with the freedom of God's love......for that is the story you know....in order to ..... To fly over murky waters above rue of painful falters you need to be with God.....otherwise it just does not work....much food for thought within these lines my friend, good structure nice word flow.....allows the reader to go with it finding the answer from within. Thank you for posting, for sharing these thoughts with us....be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-13 19:05:19|
|Upheavals||carole j mennie||Carole richly done my friend.....love the way you open with your own search and treasures found yet not very impressive so they were placed safely away in a trunk perhaps for someone to find and indeed mom did find......her love was etched into your findings and preserved for life and the best being displayed with her gentle touch. How you must have loved seeing them on her coffee table when you came home that visit and I am sorry for her loss as well..........it is never easy saying goodbye to someone you love so much...her treasures left behind for you to hold onto will remain within your heart forever along with her memory. love the structure, word flow, images and closing line...Mother always had a knack for plucking pearls out of any old oyster. Thank you for sharing this emotional piece with us.....a fun piece too for one's treasure is never known until seen through the eyes of someone else. be safe, God Bless, Claire||2003-08-13 10:43:55|
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