DeniMari Z.'s E-Mail Address: writer356@hotmail.com


DeniMari Z.'s Profile:
Single Mom from NJ, who grew to love writing in H.S. Creative endeavors are my favorite, poetry is essential to my well-being; whether writing or reading it. Sylvia P, my fav. among so many others. Life has not been easy; yet with faith I've endured. The loss of my oldest son in Aug. 2007, is still something I'm in the healing process of. My career history includes six years of corporate legal, more years of medical clerical/medical assistant/prison hospital office manager/and a few years with insurance companies. Knowledge is power; & with this great site, I have so much more to learn about writing.

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Displaying Critiques 51 to 100 out of 797 Total Critiques.
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Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by DeniMari Z.Critique Date
my crooked lineMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.A very depth of "drivels" Medard - This poem touches my soul as the darkness from each verse emerges allowing the reader to feel the pain - and the hopelessness felt with wonderful verbiage to express how bleak this world seems to so many. I enjoyed your poem - especially the ending - those who are profound and shallow never really see the crooked paths they walk - Deni2015-09-05 20:35:36
AwayJoe GustinI could have read more of this - Recognition given to someone - who you may need to stay away from - to protect yourself - is the message I picked up while reading this. I've been guarding my heart since 2008; for myself it's a must - very cleverly crafted with verses and a rhyme scheme that bring a melancholy vibe through each line. blessings, Deni2015-08-23 08:28:10
THE QUEST.kevin DunnAwesome, truly some of the best verbiage and poetic lines I've read so far this month - It's almost like a fable - as one looks back at many pleasantries - and your chosen words are stand out - so many I'd be writing your poem here - to show you how much of it I enjoyed - This story like piece begins and ends with years between all of it - and how you managed to complete it as such is truly poetic talent - Your ending is superb - and I hope there are no regrets to look back at - I can't find them in this write - You had asked before what IMHO meant - it's In my honest opinion - abbreviation of those words. On my list of favs for this month - Deni2015-08-19 11:59:11
When A Lonely Wind CalllsJoe GustinBeautiful write Joe - It's dream like and mesmerizing to this reader - Imagery certainly stands out - enhancing your content in superb fashion, so many good parts - along with a perfected rhyme scheme - it speaks to me of creative illusions penned to warm the soul - know all is well - protected by so many things - and the lonely - can find joy no matter what they do - very good, I enjoyed this, Deni 2015-08-19 11:50:06
Don't You KnowJames C. HorakHi JC, Very short piece by you - with intentions I'm not all clear on - yet I'll give my best to critique. I have to admit that I'm stumped - perhaps you could shed more light - Could it be that in the shadows everyone sees something different? and what they see is only pretend? Deni2015-08-09 11:55:19
The Wordsmith.kevin DunnMagical poem; full of imagery with a great rhyme and meter scheme. This took me away as if I was in the shop with you - In awe of the visuals you perfected and the twist a surprise - a good surprise. Very unique piece and IMHO the best poem I've read today. So clever - bravo - Deni2015-08-09 11:50:53
The Black RobesMark Steven SchefferYour poetry is always like stepping in to a dream then out again. Once again, you have mastered this piece - there is so much good in it - all of the pure poetic touches - but you add an additional tone every time you end a poem and that is what sets you apart in your style - "Ghosts wear white" is so good of a contrast to those in black robes (& I perceive them to be Priests i.e. your chosen word "missives" - Glad to read another poem written by you. Deni2015-08-05 15:45:49
ExhaleLora SilveyImagery is stand-out - as always Lora - I'm reading this as religious content - as you end this poem with "Mortals wait His voice's whisper" - Your first verse is the draw in to the poem - I enjoyed this very much- Well done, Deni2015-08-02 10:13:02
BullfightMark Steven SchefferOur society seems to find everything offensive which takes public opinion right to the toilets - it's becoming a new way of expression that is sending this country back to places no one in their right mind would want to revisit - Nicely written, nice slant on the word government Not so nice that we have to put up with all of the bullshit of Larry,Mo & Curly (Doe) - Citizens who can't even decide what to make for dinner every night - 2015-08-02 10:07:05
When Love LeavesJoe GustinHi Joe - Very creative imagery in this poem. I love your 2nd verse where you say "whitewashes any rainbows" along with relating to such a loss - the colors disappear but reappear every now and again. IMHO - this fills the mind with impact of how losing love takes on a life of it's own then as we progress in what ever manner we choose - we learn - I believe that is how you ended this piece - To dive back in to the memories brings the emotional pain to the surface - If you know what triggers the pain you try to avoid it. Very unique structure, rhyme and thoughts - Enjoyed your poem, Deni2015-08-02 09:59:47
If I Should SpeakLora SilveyI love this poem Lora - truly written with the message of compassion - to forgive and allow your spirit not to harbor ill feelings toward any man is a tremendous blessing to have instilled in to your soul - We live among so many who harbor anger, resentment, trivial petty injustices for the lack of wanting peace in their lives - we live among those who can't see past their complaints of daily life to enjoy a day - We live among the dark souls who spoil life with violence, cruelty with self-serving purposes that take them no where except around and around to where they started. Very refreshing to know that you have the wisdom, the words and the capability to write such honest and poetic words - On my list, blessings, Deni2015-01-22 15:49:59
A Love StoryMarcia L McCaslinA picture of humility, humble beginnings and staying the course to build a wonderful foundation to live on. It's a good write - the only thing I would say is you do what I do when I write - My structure is off - and one of my mentors here told me in order to have a poem make a complete impact - structure is important - Not every beginning of a line should start with a capital letter - took me quite awhile to grasp so many parts of poetry - This poem allowed me as the reader to escape to another place in time with your chosen words that portray exactly what you wanted it to - blessings, Deni2015-01-10 20:40:08
The PathThomas H. Smihula& you did - It's cleverly written - and the message is delivered in poetic form - The Path of Life - one of the mysterious, complex, upside down journeys a person will walk - and we are certain lucky to reach an old age - which puts emphasis on your last verse - Cold - not just the rhyme but reference to something not so great - ice - Good job - I enjoyed this write - Deni2014-10-06 14:12:54
Discussing RobertaMarcia L McCaslinGreat write - I love true to life poems that play out in lines inching away at the anticipation that comes next - I doubt anyone could have completely understood what she meant - it seems she saw something in Roberta that stood out and she was a bit obsessed over Roberta's personality or frightened by her - Obviously she made a great impact on your friend - Why she didn't find her beautiful no one will ever know. She must have been an "oddity" to your other friend which fully left her unable to comprehend her in a beautiful way - loved this, Deni2014-10-04 21:26:13
Laurel Canyon RhapsodyJames C. HorakThe darkness of this event will forever haunt those of us who were younger and couldn't understand cults as evil as these were - Sharon Tate will always be remembered in my mind - and you've penned this out with the best adjectives; structure and point on poetic lines that is as chilling as the crime itself. Wonderful write JC, blessings, Deni2014-10-04 21:20:12
Cowboy SonnetMarcia L McCaslinNicely written with great rhyming - Clear and concise to the reader the message of someone who has gone off track - My only question would be - Did the man at the bar light up when he saw her and not let her leave? Love & heartache - hand in hand - Good poem, blessings Deni2014-10-03 13:54:16
The BossMark Steven SchefferNicely written tribute to one outstanding sports figure - I wish my critique could do justice to your write - but I'm not a fan of sports - but I agree he was "The Boss" and a well known figure in all of his endeavors with his passion in life. blessings, Deni2014-10-03 13:50:57
ThornsJoe GustinVery poignant poem Joe. The loss conveys a strong message to the reader - sometimes there are no faults - things happen in life that we persevere through striving to be free of any pain - yet how wonderful you ended this piece - in a metaphoric verse - Every rose has thorns - every one has flaws - great poem, blessings, Deni2014-10-03 13:48:35
When the Tear Becomes a DiamondJames C. HorakJC - I have always said that your poetry has inspired me to continue writing whether it be good or not - I can tell that you gave great thought to choose each word and impact the reader with "truth" so unavoidable - now in this year going back over centuries in time - That blood has no color until seeping and what comes next comes toward - Outstanding IMO undone In as much as this world needs peace achieving it seems endless - G'luck with this write - blessings, Deni2014-10-01 12:46:01
A Ghost TaleMark Steven SchefferDamn you're good - Another fantastic poem that holds this readers attention from first word to the last - There isn't anything wrong with this poem - I'm sitting here with chills not from just the darkness in it - but for the pure sentiments that I relate to in this piece. Life is an oddity - too complex for most - so true we laugh as if living in the world was a casual walk in the park - beautiful poem, Deni2014-09-25 18:50:53
I Want To Critique Your PoemMarcia L McCaslinHello Marcia, This write definitely brings out what you as a fan of poetry want to explore - It's written with great passion, and the message is clearly defined - Good read and my only "nit" would be the structure chosen to enlighten us to this piece that you've clearly taken time with to relay with beautiful chosen words. blessings, Deni2014-09-24 12:59:14
Young Couple In LoveJoe GustinA wonderful sentimental poem of love - great verses bring out the full imagery and message in this poem. If only - it hadn't gone as it had - I love the way you express this in your first verse - and drive the message right in to your 2nd verse using "courage" and the stand out word - Destiny? We wonder don't we? I've always wondered about the fact that most people meet and marry someone in their immediate surroundings - Most people choose within their own state - and marriages were built it seems on that particular concept - Food for thought - I enjoyed this poem - even though the ending and sad tone expressed makes the reader feel empathetic toward this couple, blessings, Deni2014-09-19 18:50:27
HomeMark Steven SchefferI enjoy the message in this - the strength comes with words - i.e. "Familiarity breeds contempt" yet the touch of love added - to be the protector of home, health and well-being of others comes with a lot of compromises - to keep a home - Away from home allows a person alone in the world without all of the static left at home and can feel so peaceful in itself - but at the end of the day no one coined it better than the character in the Wizard of Oz - "There's no place like home" - which can really have two meanings if you put thought to it - good poem, Deni 2014-09-16 13:57:42
“Daddy . . . "Mark Steven SchefferAnother wonderful poem which is flawless in my opinion - No - the things that were once history in the making are shown in museums now - but a lot of us remember and relay stories of what was to our children. Sometimes they understand but mostly the new age has technology and advanced technology that never bares resemblence to the advantages of those years now gone by - blessings, Deni2014-09-03 20:32:47
The WhyJoe GustinSincerely personal poem that just seems flawless - it could be a card - that's how well you've chosen your words and structure - All 3 verses are worth so much more recognition than my critique - I hope you put this aside and publish it - complete success; Deni2014-08-05 15:39:54
Attending My catJoe GustinI have a male cat who will be 6 this August and you're so right - even though they can't talk - they certainly manage to "convey" to us pure unconditional love - and a bond like no other - Adorable stated - Deni2014-07-22 12:35:03
May loveJoe GustinEndearing poem Joe - Life would be more of a blessing if we could leave the stress of each day behind i.e. "Lumbar" and peacefully fall asleep till the next morning- Short but very touching, Deni2014-07-22 12:33:11
RescueJoe GustinA heartfelt poem packed with emotions to acquire a lifestyle different and more inspiring to anyone who wants to enjoy and feel the simplest of pleasures in life - which are plenty - I love your second verse - prayer is divine intervention that intercedes between one's self and the higher power hoping that any wish, concern and leave of what's not working anymore - can put someone on the right path - that path seems to be good cheer along with many blessings of goodwill - Excellent write - thank you for sharing, Deni2014-07-17 23:46:03
WhisperingsJoe GustinHi Joe - a sentimental poem with engaging imagery - In poetic verse I would eliminate the 6th verse because for me the use of "Crop circles" takes away from this piece - as well as the use of the word "strain" twice in one verse - Love the use of reflections of mirrors in the wind - and the happiness intended, Deni 2014-07-07 08:01:13
in pursuit of happinessMark Steven SchefferThere is always light in life but there is also the dark - No complexities to read through in your poem - Just a beautiful poem that gives a reader a stark rendition of poetic delight - Deni2014-06-29 09:11:26
Love Still WinsJoe GustinVery touching poem Joe. Losing someone is like losing a piece of yourself and some transitions leave us wanting what we had so much that it stops progress in healing finding a new way to live our lives. True love lasts forever and your poem renders these feelings distant as they may be - still exist. Deni2014-06-29 09:09:19
LongingJames C. HorakInteresting; and thank you for leaving a ref. - I've never heard of the club - the rich and famous do a lot of things we'll never do - i.e. - the underground high stake gamblers etc. etc. - The whims of the rich and famous never fail to amaze me - Well written to express your feelings and a learning experience for me - Thank you, Deni2014-06-27 17:44:03
I So Want ToJoe GustinNice written - like a fairytale which without my childhood would have been dreary - Very whimsical and magical - I enjoyed this poem Joe, blessings, Deni 2014-06-27 17:34:56
4:00 a.m.Mark Steven SchefferWhat can I say to a writer who always touches a readers heart? Truly poetic and engaging. You make this seem so easy yet I truly believe that when someone is gifted it is a blessing that they ultimately are able to share with others - You've over topped a theme of life and spirituality with an ending that left me wanting more to read. Deni2014-06-19 20:51:47
BubblesJoe GustinIf I had to choose I'd rather be a bubble than a "Bobble Head"...interesting write - Your poem has a very light tone in it - to be carried so lightly as such - and not 'Pop' 3rd verse pulls the poem together with a touching sentiment - Different than your other poems but well worth the read - I hope that God is delighted of the child who embraces his existence and gives him thanks each day. blessings, Deni2014-06-17 18:59:47
Three FriendsMark Steven SchefferBeautiful poem with the personal notations directed for whom they were - a very worth read as I believe in the saying if souls on earth are met to meet they will - The ease and skill of the sort of writing you do impresses me and always has - This verse stands out to me - because of the truth in the first two lines - be tending, for i come as a thief of mercy to a world that is drowning in riches while thirsty, bringing the drying of tears and eyes (if not the swallowing of death in victory) with a fire for the tares for burning in the dark night of my calling Excellent post, blessings, Deni 2014-06-17 18:50:49
If EverJoe GustinJoe, Very tender rendition of a love poem - a connection made like no other - The poem is short but no expansion would be needed - structure, rhyme and imagery are wonderful - and I love the title as well - blessings, Deni2014-06-01 17:55:42
What HappenedJoe GustinTimes have changed so much over the course of the past ten years it is inconceivable to think of some of the events along with the seemingly stoic emotions of the general population is now considered the norm. I hesitate to think why others see progress when I see less than what I used to consider a more compassionate universe. Your poem is clear and concise and I believe those who speak of faith do just that - speak of it, very nicely written, Deni2014-05-30 20:56:05
Come to CamdenJames C. HorakI like this JC. Just don't take a trip to Camden, NJ - I'd fear for your life - Great imagery of travels via trains which I always found to be a more exciting way to travel than any other-although jumping cars was tricky - This is very entrancing and I have no nits - it is written in a charmed pleasurable way easy to comprehend with a tough of humor at the end. Kudos - on a very good poem. blessings, Deni 2014-04-24 20:25:47
Mark Sheffer's Excellent Collection of PoemsJames C. HorakI've been patiently waiting for years for this news - Kudos to Mark - well done and congrats!!! Deni2014-04-22 18:54:58
Old ShoesJoe GustinEasily read and appreciated; the wonders we find while cleaning out closets - even things that spark memories are tucked behind their doors. Good job, blessings, Deni2014-04-03 12:07:50
I Will LieJoe GustinTo be able to touch a readers soul is one of the most successful parts of being a poet. There are so many good things in this write - from word choice, structure, rhyme but most of all a message which at first made me think you were switching topics - taking the first 3 verses as stanzas written about physical love -(which it could be - like a build up of things you love most in life) but toward the end I felt the message ran more deeply - to the fine line you as a writer walk on - making me think this poem was more so about writing poetry and the wait for inspiration to do so. I'd love to know more about what inspired these words, blessings, Deni2014-04-03 01:09:26
IncantantJames C. HorakJC, I marvel at the depth you seem to easily find when writing a poem. First I should say with the ads here and your word cremation (if clicked on) showed me where I could find a good crematory in Denver was weird) but all in all I know you write from not only your thoughts but your soul which certainly stood out in this poem. It stands on it's own with a message well worth reading, blessings, Deni2014-04-02 15:56:39
Over SleptJoe GustinNicely done Joe - it's a warm breath of air to cap off a much needed break from Winter woes. 3rd verse stands out in imagery - I enjoyed this write - blessings, Deni2014-04-02 15:51:20
YearsTerry L KriegHi Terry - I think this piece has a lot of potential because the ideas you express are quite poignant. With that being said I know that I have appreciated extra eyes on any poem submission over the years here with TPL - it's what helps us to learn and grow in our writing endeavors. I'm not a pro but I've become a better writer through constructive criticism and helpful hints from some of the best here - After spending many years being a creation by God then idiots and turning corners under the same sun; I sense the deceptive wall of time’s mirage of movement struggles to connect the dots inexorably leading back to the beginning yet again and again. Laughter and a myriad of tears hidden behind glinting glass prevents passage nor changing. These walls breathe me in demanding to relive the identical triggers of tears that built from years ago. Of course I was playing with your poem, and trying to tweak and change a few things to make it more concise and add a more poetic flow to your original words - This is an outstanding powerfully emotional piece of having been hurt in life - and you would do justice to realize the talent you have to work with - blessings, Deni 2014-04-02 15:48:18
The Eve of DestructionJames C. HorakGreat word choice; if I'm not mistaken you've managed to write a profound poem about the new healthcare system - it's a powerful piece - infused with truth - I believe the destruction started when the plan was formed - blessings, Deni2014-03-31 23:52:56
GoldJames C. HorakPoetic message on a dire circumstance - your thoughts whisper a profound message in this original write- blessings, Deni2014-03-29 23:39:09
MindlessTerry L KriegHi Terry - I can say there is def a charge in this piece - I can actually feel the hectic pace of life these days in your words - the world relying on machines for everything and the circumstances created when the power goes off - Love your take on technology - and the adjectives you've chosen are good - Blank, mindless, panic and the use of endless electronic circles sums up the message of your poem. For me personally the structure doesn't matter - it's more about the intensity in which you've written this - and your ending line "which one am I dealing with now" goes to the fact that there are so many it's become overwhelming perpetual use in today's society. Good job, I enjoyed this, Deni2014-03-01 17:46:55
Within Deep ProvenceLora SilveyLora, This is such a graceful poem with disciplined structure that only a true poet can put together with bringing out a very clear and concise emotions through to a reader. Very touching and relaxing piece that captures the sort of peace I believe anyone would want to find. All of the verses are wonderful but the 3rd verse stands out - I enjoyed this so much, blessings Deni2014-02-25 17:08:53
SHOCKDebbie SpicerDear Debbie, My heartfelt condolences on the loss of Kristy & Jordan. I am still on this journey in my life after losing three family members in one year - the most tragic of all my son, age 29 six years ago and know in my heart this grief goes against the norm for a parent who imagines they will never have to hear such tragic words nor wake up to the nightmarish life it brings - My prayers are with you as well as me extending myself to you if you would like to contact me via my email here - I am so sorry to hear this news - May God bless you in your darkest moments along with giving you endurance to take baby steps toward healing - blessings, Deni2014-01-31 20:07:24
Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by DeniMari Z.Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 51 to 100 out of 797 Total Critiques.
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