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Displaying Critiques 51 to 100 out of 835 Total Critiques.
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Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Tony P SpicugliaCritique Date
Calista CatherineWanda S. ThibodeauxWanda, this is an absolutely piece. You not only brought alive the person but placed us there beside you in observation. The “I am missing you”, by the end, becomes we all are missing you. It would be far too difficult to ascertain a single line or view that was more poignant than another. Each line and stanza was a colonnade of memory none of us have but you, but that all of us have now. We may have watched through the window of your eyes, and your soul, but now it also belongs to us. Thank you much for sharing this wonderful piece. 2015-11-06 21:17:38
For MumJoe GustinJoe, I believe sentiments that are universal should be spoken as such; even if there is a personal touch to them. You did this well. It is not the product of this site to edit, so I won’t; that said, S1L3 is a reference many may not understand, from an obscure movie most in this modern time have not seen. My suggestion would be replace it with “an abusive mother”. I loved the fresh dandelion line, maybe I’ll have to repost my very old berry poem. Stanza 2 inspires me. Stanza 3, (as I said, you made the personal universal- it is a good deed! “Coo and a kiss” a well said image. Mother, mother, mum- it’s mostly the same for us all, and you captured it so well!! Great job. 2015-11-04 13:11:20
A Conscious FantasyDeniMari Z.Deni, I loved that reality and daydreams conflict, or merge, if you will. It is the reality of what life really is in this modern, and probably past lives. Dreamers and illusions; the birthplace of the soul’s response, poetry and creation. Such a great feeling emits from S2. Of imagination, and fresh water, and recall, and waves that overtake us, prior to the creation falling forth- clever inventors indeed. Well done! 2015-11-04 13:09:25
words rushWanda S. ThibodeauxWanda, o’ for extolling creation. The grabbing for fairys or the inhalation of that morning’s blush- This I think is manifest for the cheery, or lovingly done creative work. I think it is incumbent on you to writer her sister/brother piece, the dark, clawing creation- at least for me; it has been a thing! Great work Wanda. 2015-11-04 13:04:27
form without substancecharles r pittsCharles, such a powerful piece. Each metaphor building on the last until the final line thrusts like a dagger to the heart. One must first consider the balloon. Each piece of air trapped in a diaphragm that prevents its escape. It is the very pressure that will, god willing, jettisone the individual air particle to its freedom. Some might identify the midlife crisis, or the impending divorce, or the social anxiety of attendance, knowing escape is the only happiness. Well Done. A loveless shell indeed. Hollow words? the hissing that accompanies escape? Jagged teeth- the destruction required and the garish sounds once the effort bursts? Or just us humans, being humans, and finding humanity isn’t always a personal choice, pro or con. Excellent piece. 2015-11-04 13:00:29
THE DEAD.kevin DunnKevin – Contrast, a piece about contrast. Of course, there are times when what the dead cannot do or feel, sounds almost paradisiacal, but then, that may be a backdoor point for the home team- however; “only one way to know for sure?” – the remonstration of what actually happens when dead? The return to life, once the knowledge of death is known? That the continued knowledge of this life’s sensory illusion is a significant improvement over what death has to offer? of if there’s nothing, any change is an improvement? Thought provoking. As for a bountiful critique? There’s only one way for me to find out for sure! 2015-10-27 14:45:42
Ladeé’s Beat GoesLora SilveyLora- A forlorn arrival and culmination. “the beat goes on” - and with a certain level of contradiction in the verse. I know leaves change as the trees close the draw of moisture, so they can preserve their core until the spring arrives and warmth allows growth. Maybe “the beat no longer tries” is that hibernating spirit that cannot bear, in full regalia, the cold of the winter. Maybe, leaves be damned, life is, and hearts beat, and then beyond- is something we don’t know, but we do know the beat ceases, or as written, ceases to try. There is a distinction between the two. To cease is autonomic, to cease to try is moral weariness. A very thoughtful piece. 2015-10-27 10:46:58
PreyJoe GustinJoe- I love the illusion- so quick to take root in the depth of desire and the heart. You’re surprise in writing it, makes the acquisition ever more a necessity, nevertheless. Really quick: S1L1 “I had always notice” should be “have”, if S3L4 “when you so desire the hunt” is desire rather than desired. “Teeth of your emotions” powerful, and reminded me of (“took the words right out of my mouth” Meatloaf) Frankly it is enticing knowing the hunt is still in full bloom. Lord knows in my life, that hunt is precisely as you describe it. However, I doubt that she sees it that way. BRAVO! 2015-10-26 16:59:41
By The Grace Of GODMilton RobertsonMilton – I have great respect for faith. I know the faith it takes to place an epistle such as yours on poetry sites. Of that, it is easier to speak to the verse, than the message. I believe your verse does a good job at recommendation based on your experience and faith. Not being a novice to the message, the message itself, in the format submitted, is not lost in a clutter of words. Personally I’d have shortened each line to bullet each faith effect. I know it would have been longer, but bullets work very well in making one’s point. Once again, thank you for sharing, particularly a message that has brought so much solace to your experience in life. 2015-10-26 16:50:40
holocaustMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Medard – Each time I watch and am reminded of the scourge of humankind, particularly that of the Nazis, Pol Pot, Stalin/Lenin, an assortment of despots and Muslims, and possibly the worst (numbers are difficult when lives don’t matter) Chairman Mao, I wish for time machines, for retribution and cannot contain the sickness that invades my soul. If only remediation was really possible. You are correct; “no even human”. Well Said. What is interesting, is I wrote my critique before reading you note. We are on the same page.2015-10-26 13:53:13
MirandaWanda S. ThibodeauxWanda – Well; having dated this woman several times unders differing psuedonyms, I am glad to find out exactly what her disposition was. Miranda- LOVE YA!!! It is always nice to come upon a calendar based whimsy. In fact; I think I might effort one- you sort of inspired me there. I haven’t done one this year. Beauty to deceive? Who ever thought of that? 2015-10-26 13:43:03
full-grown babycharles r pittsCharles – I entered into this critique with a bit of trepidation. First, it seemed to be a piece that is satirical, for an older person. Then I conceived it might be for a curmudgeon, back into diapers again; and not happy with the whole aging thing, and not happy that he/she needs attendees. Then again, I figured after several readings that it was both satirical, but also an infant analogy for any older adult who finds dealing with any uncomfortable occurrence, a difficult thing and lashes like an infant; inclusive of the need for a pacifier, and with a resemblance to an infant who is uncomfortable and not taken care of quick enough. I guess either of those scenarios will do, but the image stays with the reader- and yes;…. I’d prefer not to attempt the diaper changing myself. A very interesting … scene. 2015-10-26 13:37:26
A Novel SeasonDeniMari Z.Deni- A very delightful and insightful read (the unexpected rhyme is to match your verse, filled with surprise rhyme). Your first stanza sets the tone, shallow/shadow foretells the stones/alone. It takes no effort to feel the rhythm and airiness of the stanza, and therefore the entire piece. It is enjoyable to find the “to be” verbs missing in favor of the nouns and adjectives. The rhymes are delightful as they are surprising at times. To read the piece, without over use of adverbs, is also refreshing. (Maybe I should do that!). A fun and re-readable piece! 2015-10-21 16:59:00
My lineMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Medard, Your analogy is not wasted on me. The concept of a line, (lifeline et al), of no width or depth, simply length- in describing the feelings of aloneness, or the epitaph of a life come and gone is extraordinary. The temporalness of both the disconnection and the resolve of eternity, is a powerful vision. I say that to ascribe to the writer the vision, and not tarry on a substantive image. I want to grab the line, and yank it, but not having the necessary information as to the creative inspiration, it might be yanking at a metaphor, or a heart. The heart is so much more substantive than a metaphor. Well Done Medard, well done. 2015-10-04 19:54:49
What Is LoveJoe GustinJoe, you had me coming back to the S1L2 time and again. It defines the entire piece. I know there are many who may not have established such a repoire, but you continue on in the verse to amplify the treatise. “Love we refuse to give up on” strikes a chord. It is the only thing I cannot forgive my first wife of. “does not dissipate”, Joe you are on fire in this piece ! The love we leave behind, such an impact if brought back to life from each memory of those who remain. Excellent piece of writing. Missing a comma, S3L4, born, live young 2015-10-04 19:46:11
You KnowJoe GustinSuch an upbeat piece Joe! (BTW, double “the” S2L1). It is often the content of attitude- that drives the moment, but you have also indicated in the content, an external influence that makes everything better. I like S2L4 “entirety of your being”- matching it with S1L2-4 where the “mind is smiling” and the “soul has found its laugh”. There is a resident freshness when reading those lines that exceed the value of the whole (maybe accenting would be a better word). A very uplifting piece. 2015-06-30 10:48:09
One WishWanda S. ThibodeauxWanda, a blessing and a heart wrenching story all rolled up into an extremely readable piece. Your piece brought back for me, an empathy for those times left behind, but as you have intimated within the verse, are always with us; waiting for the proper stimulus to return us to those times. What makes your piece stand out ever more is the personal glimpse of the Christmas, the cologne, that although contemporary with the memory, is more of a flash back within a flash back. This is quite well done. And then the ending, the moment of realization without relief. I felt it, heard it, and understand it. There is the personal personality for each person, but there is something more for us all to absorb without absolution. Wonderfully done! 2015-06-18 14:44:05
WeirdMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.M, this is compelling. I took much of what you said to heart, to my heart. I hope, in you find a humanity break in the writing. I know I did. The verse was not uncommon to me, in fact; although everyone’s life is different, there is a commonality to the experience. Note: Were this mine, I’d work it a little bit to increase the number of assonantal end rhymes. When you do it by accident, it really accents your entire feelings within. A good example are your last four lines, with mark and not- not perfect rhymes but sets up the story. In that vein, for me, I’d end my last line with “credit enough” so the assonance from mark/not extends to ten the piece with enough. This piece is both personal and universal. It captures me, and after several readings, I became as invested in the author, as in the departed. That is a rare feat. The personal anecdotes with no strategic meaning in the poem, are also endearing and set the emotional state of the reader. An excellent read! The title, btw; is perfect. 2015-02-07 10:54:53
A Man Eats ChocolateJoe GustinSo Joe, here we go on the adventure- and it is an adventure more compelling than Alice in wonderland. Anecdotally, in a church I attended, an older woman gave an example to the younger girls on why they should abstain from sex, till they couldn’t. She would have them put a Hershey kiss in their mouths for ten seconds, then tell them to extract it and stop eating it. It was a lesson none of the young girls ever forgot. A man eats chocolate, now there is the lead in to a fantasy as encompassing as the tale itself. It foretells a greater allegory for the reader. Once I began, I couldn’t stop reading it drew my attention to the next stanza, and the next. What I also like is how you, your style, was woven into the tale, I could envision you sharing from a lectern, the story that had to be told. What and excellent piece. To coin a phrase- “I get it”! 2015-02-07 10:33:22
ChristoLora SilveyLora, you always manage to bring an intuitive nature to what you write. It is as if the reader has joined the moment, in feelings, sight and action. I would like to be prescient and say I know all that is going on here, and I probably have missed the point- but I have also deliberated and taken the writing into the story, into my experiences, into the hope you ended with. I’ve known (as I read this) mother’s (and father’s) who have struggled with autistic children, and I know those now who deal with Alzheimer’s, the pressures are very similar. There is hope of the autistic, and lacking such (at the moment) for those afflicted in an older age. This is a child, as that hope reaches into the future. The story is compelling, real and alive, which is the remarkable thought that resounds with the necessity. Well done (if I butchered it, I still enjoyed it). 2015-02-07 10:20:39
A Love StoryMarcia L McCaslinMarcia, I have a personal hankering for a good love story! Sometimes the references are self-perpetuating and that is the best image of the whole- sort of like this story. You never tell us if you are related to the participants, yet you spin a story that was common, even the enduring love, at another time in this country’s time line. It makes me wonder, and wander, for the time to be alive in harder and simpler times. “Innermost parts” a wonderful turn of phrase, like the life they led, both simple, yet complex. I enjoyed the read, would have liked to know the people! 2015-02-07 10:09:59
Anger and RageMarcia L McCaslinMarcia, I don’t know much about the answers, ‘cept the last question- that answer is almost always no. The story, the amazing story- once again something you should write a short story of, and a screenplay for. I’d like to say the rage is unique. It is not. I’d like to say I know nothing of alcholhol, either it’s inducements, or its medicinal affect on the spirit, but that would be a lie. I’d like to say I find the clean, or the lack of approved education, or even the undervaluing of poetry and reading, and the arts, as something I understand (even if I did understand it from a generational response), but I won’t. Rage is a strange thing. It hides behind a smile or rides a storm cloud. What a story you have shared! 2015-01-22 21:15:38
What IsJoe GustinJoe, I do love a question answered; sort of a double meaning image. “makes the difference”, and in the crux of the question, all other lines are subservient to the meaning of the last two. I think the key word in the work is “compels”, a dynamic draw to the meanings you allow in the description and the result. It is a piece to read, just before sleep, even though the meaning with each reading will color the dreams of the next day. 2015-01-22 21:03:46
The sameness of everydayMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Let me begin at the ending. “I have said enough” – and there the well written treatise reaches a peak beyond the didactic resolution, or dissolutions of the entire soliloquy. I kept waiting for a syntax problem, or maybe an edit that jumps out at me- I was very taken by each line, waiting for the next, knowing in the feelings, there couldn’t be more. I was wrong. This is a marvelous piece. It states a state of mind, and then the distractions to that state. It couples no truth, as truth, and disassembles the foundations of that truth. You have said enough. Indeed. Throughout the piece I found bits and pieces of me, scattered through the years, and you, in the focus of the resolution. Very, very well done. 2015-01-22 20:58:45
Right nowJoe GustinI Joe. I think this needs a good edit. That said- it is very passionately wrought. Sometimes when reading a piece such as this, I wonder what is going through the authors mind, why the dissertation, what motivates the explosive combinations. I find it very interesting (since you linked MLK with John Lennon) that the right of the heart, of bravery comes to the forefront. It might be easily deterred by those with less imagination, but the dreams were never far from the minds of either of those personages. My favorite, “dialect of the future” what a fabulous image! 2015-01-22 17:08:50
Two Rows BackMarcia L McCaslinWonderfully done. The imagination, and a living screenplay. This would make a great vignette. Your descriptions are tantalizing, and since little is known about what they were feeling; your round bout way of describing each action and reaction brought alive their actual feelings.TT I was lost in the entire piece. The ending, which is also the beginning, brings a realism to it all. This could be seen as an explanation, or a daydream, all in the context of the entire romance. Really a very brilliant piece! This is a class act! 2015-01-22 17:02:51
If I Should SpeakLora SilveyLora, welcome- and wonderfully done! Business- S2L4 I think L2 / L3 speaks of how to teach values of love L4 seems to contradict the reasoning. Ex. L2 how better may I teach L3 the values of love than to L4 embrace love’s virtue (Maybe I’m just missing the connection) This is a very fine use of language. I found each word choice to be distinct and uplifiting in it’s lesson. I don’t think I would alter a single reference. You are too kind utilizing (ignorance), personally I have found ignorance is seldom the problem, but the solution you propose is a powerful one. A very fine start to my readings. Enjoyed it very much. 2015-01-21 16:22:26
"Christmas Blessings To All"DeniMari Z.Deni- There is one thing that remains true as you reach for health, you are missed here. It has been a long haul for you and I here, and there have been many health issues here. You have kept it alive with your dedication and craft. I hope the new year brings you something special. I also hope to read your verse again. Remember- the secret is to always write from where you are. As for Doctors (fill in the consecutive letters), my wife has seven and it is tiring just making the required appointments and medications. I understand your weariness. I hope your new years eve is with a smile. Hell, you and I have made it to another! 2014-12-31 10:01:10
Country ChristmasMarcia L McCaslinMarcia, this is quite invigorating. I have become one where good feelings trump whatever else everyone says is wrong. I don’t hide, or ignore the responsibilities to make things right, I just prefer to dwell on the type of thoughts elicited by a verse such as this. This could be one of those pieces, read at the same time the night before Christmas is read. It is an amalgam of such, and silent night, joy to the world, and the children whose surgar plums (and yes, I’ve had them and loved them, particularly with real cream poured over them), dance by the fire. What a fine piece for a heart such as mine. It hits the moment and makes the year. Well done. 2014-12-31 09:55:31
Deer Crossing Signs - Haiku HumorMarcia L McCaslinMarcia, you have hit the season, the funny bone, the heartstrings, and more this month. I have a penchant for linked haiku/senryu, and so when it tells a story, particularly a humorous story, it is always something special. Of course, if deer could read, however, as impulsive as they are, reading would be more of an overkill, pun intended. I feel the inverse is also worth mentioning; the advanced civilization (we humans) know how to read and often do not utilize the required crossing designations- how much more would critters disregard their direction….. Well, fun fun fun, in the hope of more intelligent deer runs 2014-12-23 11:28:27
When You Get ThereJoe GustinJoe, you ask and answer the questions everyone has asked, though the answer is always wait till you get there. I have tired of the free will answer, it is droll, and what use is power if one feels confined against not doing good. Some may say that adds the quaintness to the quality. This is an incredibly sensitive and loving treatise. We all, could, in passing, fill in the blanks and adjectives, take your piece and utilize it universally as the anthem for empathy. Beauty- so much of it will have to wait till the next time around. Thank you for sharing what soul is all about. 2014-12-23 11:19:04
Watching Winter Watching MeMarcia L McCaslinMarcia, How delightful this read is. Its one of those cliché things, that “I don’t know you from adam” but after this I’d like to sit and share a cup of coffee with you. The image, of slippers and robe on a cold morning is scrumptious! The snow crusted wood pile description, “marshmellowed” is perfect. Snuggling on a cold morning is always a nice diversion, but your innocent bathrobe scene and the wind- is somehow sexy as all get out, particularly with the voyeur quality of those watching the entire event (animals or not). The fact that they are there, adds another dimension to the piece. The discourse, spoken or not, between magpie and woman strikes a comical pose for the entire effort. Maybe the scolding was for the robe thing, who knows! The setting is colorful and alive. This is a perfect winter morning. I wish I’d had time for this earlier, it would have given life a sweet push down the road. 2014-12-23 11:11:59
Circe's IslandMark Steven SchefferSir, I have circle around to this piece, probably ten times. I have begun an assessment several times. The desire to succumb, to let go and be lost to the need; the harachai to the sea nymphs, but I must say, aside from the mythological intemperance, comes the need to mitigate, day in and day out, that which calls the soul to impropriety, or discovery, as you will. The metaphor for living, or making ones way through life is a great one. I remember when the harachai chose possible shame and destruction to meet the glory- or Ulysses being tied to the mast to save himself and yet meet the wonder of the Sirens. I cannot say equivocally, but I believe that whenever it all comes to a head; it may be those who took the leap, to whatever end, are the heroes of the story. 2014-12-03 15:58:52
The Anatomy Of LustJoe GustinJoe, a delicious read. I think, the image is a fascinating as the interaction of the folks. Desire is a special emotion, recidivism is almost always the result; as time recalls and the moment seeks to recreate. Excellent afternoon reading! 2014-12-03 15:45:53
The OarsmanMark Steven SchefferSir, were I to characterize the moment, an autobiographical indices, it would take the oarsman too damn long to find the fishing grounds, and come to the conclusion that to splay on the rocks is an inveterate response. I guess, the use of dead plenitude was as apropos as inaccurate. But who can tell, right? The poetry aside, this took me immediately to the “old man and the sea”, really the only Hemingway piece that moved me to passion. BTW, of Hemingway, he wrote poetry but was obviously not a poet. It could never survive the cut throat assessments of on line poetry experts. Back to my, (by the way, I sit in the back of the boat watching the oarsman, not planning on taking a turn, although out of politeness I offer, always hoping he says no. I do hate rowing a boat though I’ve done a lot of it), inane comments. I wondered in reading what the writer believes of those times when rowing was unnecessary. For most time, I think that is more the answer than the times of fighting the current for motion in life. If the current is correct, only lowering the oar as a steer is necessary, well forgive my idiotic forbearance. I liked this piece a lot. It made me think of you, me, life, hemingway’s masterpiece, and the rocks and roots of my journey (land). Well done sir; in a nautically organic manner. 2014-11-28 10:10:57
EclipseMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Medard, Of old, it is inconsequential. It has wonderful imaging. The watcher, (I assume the person/dog who passed) absorbs the scene, as the watcher watches the watcher. I liked you combo-words. The each held a special meaning in the totality of the verse. The entire vision is one easy to be inspired by. “song sang lunar” great melodic description. A very well composed piece. I enjoyed the read! 2014-11-27 15:03:09
Dog DreamingMark Steven SchefferYou know, I never begin typing and saving your critique before I defeat your formatting. I copy the spaces before your first line, go to “replace” in word, and replace them all with nothing. Bingo, I can actually edit a response! A fun piece, theology aside. (I can’t remember a single verse that might ascribe and understanding of God, to animals), nevertheless- I like the use in the context of this piece. It was also interesting (animal or human) describing the change from the ethereal of the dreams, to a carnal, oh, I am home perspective when the eyes open. Of the god like qualities of the master, and the reach into the dreams of the beast; to the interference (I suspect just for a bit of fun or investigation) it makes me suspect an allegorical meaning. (With me, if you read such, I guarantee anything that isn’t direct, has a back story hidden in the text). I don’t know, I always overthink your verse, I believe. It is the power of your writing that makes me want to find the more. I adored your ending, “with something like regret at making his poem” though frankly, having written on many different planes, there is probably a indices line within that says… now this is something special. Enjoyed the read immensely. 2014-11-27 14:55:39
Tulip BulbsMarcia L McCaslinMarcia, a well done anecdotal piece. Of note for me were the battles that waged, of autumn and winter, or shadow and light, or even beauty and consumption. There was a continual second theme throughout the story. Bulbs, now there is one of the few planting scenarios that I haven’t more than a passing interest in. It has always been, for me, if I and my family can’t eat it, I’m not planting it. Then again, maybe the worst sort of hypocrite, I am somebody who adores the beauty of nature, will stop and smell the flowers (then write about it) and appreciate the time and effort everyone else, or nature, might put into it all to pleas me. Hypocrite and parasite I guess. Then came the deer. I dived between the lines to find a single moment of disdain for the deer eating the handiwork. I did not. Your copy was clean. Whether in utero or by example, I think it all plays out the same. I won’t tag on all the clichés, but there are times when we all learn to watch, learn, and scratch the itch correctly. Splend 2014-11-22 14:25:42
My BibleMark Steven SchefferMSS – (notably apropos as manuscript in this instance) I found the first stanza particularly interesting, having once been an aficionado of the bible translation and “interpreter codex” retinue. (BTW, my personal favorites (after escaping the kjv scofield) were the Jerusalem and NAS and NIV, though I often crossed between versions and spent a lot of time in greek/Hebrew exegesis comparisons of verses when necessary. It has been a long time, ce la vie (no I do not speak either language which actually was a boon- I had to compare many exact and figurative experts to come to my best conclusions). Of your second stanza, that I understand fully. BTW, once again- your throw them in the river is fabulous, never be aphrates to do so! Of the rest, a splendid prose; whose point I can only assume is a contrast of consistency and ignorance, or vice versa; and the human condition in response to it all. Or, to paraphrase a moment, “I will be what I will be” should or should not that satisfy the conditions. I always find such an enticing appeal to your verse, even when I struggle to ascertain exactly what it is you are saying. I always hope, nevertheless, I capture for myself the “feel” of the lesson. 2014-11-22 14:13:43
LossJoe GustinJoe this is such a powerfully significant poem, not only because of the feelings emoted, but also because you kept it completely genderless. Anyone can grasp on and become either a sympathetic ear or relive their own similar (as I did) knowledge of the moment. Your contrast at the end of black, and color is significant- as is the identification of the one lost, as the reason the color has faded. This is an excellent piece. Well worth the rereads a soul would be driven to! Thanks! 2014-11-22 13:37:37
I Smelled the RainMedard Louis Lefevre Jr.Medard, this is probably the best piece I have read of yours. It is a magnificent tale of truth and premonition, of time and resolution- Linking the entire external piece, to an internal struggle, accents the obvious metaphor that finds itself woven throughout. Of the piece, I cannot identify a portion that moved me more than another. It is simply a well done treatise. Of note however; is the final lines: I smelled the reain before I saw the storm It is alive in truth, a truth so often marginalized in our lives. An absolutely splendid piece of writing. 2014-11-13 12:33:36
November PeaMarcia L McCaslinMarcia, an interesting piece of prose that hides it intentions well. The indices you use, that of a predisposition towards cultivation is an interesting assessment. Granting it a superior standing to the common problems of the world is an alternate assessment, aside from the dna involved. To anthropomorphize the actual result; the pea- takes a cartoonish turn in the story. That there is victory in the cultivation, and in the growth (there is no doubt of the genetic need of plants to reach for greater life), and that the cultivation, later than usual, adds a level of drama and resolution. It also leads me to presume (possibly inaccurately) of the metaphor for having children late in life; idiom notwithstanding. Joy, a very uncommon thing now-a-days. Seeing the stars, creation if you will, in the entire effort, or late in time fulfillment, a fine result from a caricature of living. Thank You 2014-11-13 12:25:53
QuandaryMark Steven SchefferSir, I read this several times to capture what it was about it that unsettled me, and scratched the unsettlement. Of sinners (too difficult a discussion for a critique, legalities aside, wasn’t that what the propitiation was all about, setting aside the law books?). So taking that into consideration, - planted – I am sure you realize that by proxy the concept is –extravagant- and smacks of predestination- nevertheless- we go there together, why the significance of four daughters (ages notwithstanding). now, there would be the exegesis of the word extravagant, and as the ball is hit from the playing field, out of bounds boundary creep, with its desultory reward. a fine piece to make my morning better. 2014-08-30 09:54:27
Old FlameMark Steven SchefferMark, I apologize for my tardiness, been on the road all month, and a loved one had a stroke, it has been a trying time- but we get on, don’t we? What of this piece, other than its beautiful composition, can be expostulated? It is, and we all know it is, and she was/is/will be, and we recall as the rationale of the moment drives us to recall. And then- there love is, once again, or just plain damn lust, who knows. It yet remains. Very well said. What a dance! I wonder if S2L2 should begin with - are - or S3L1 - are a real fire- 2014-08-30 09:45:05
The WhyJoe GustinMorning Joe! Wonderful rhyme scheme and some unscheduled assonance! The -why- in the –try-, well said. I could spend time dissecting the theme, but any who have been there are dissecting it even as we speak. You repetitive words assume much of the theme’s final caricature; that being- it doesn’t go away! Well done. BTW, S1L4 - -than- rather the –then-? 2014-08-30 09:34:53
ToweringDeniMari Z.Deni, the verse of a fighter- and it shows, weary doesn’t mean capitualiting. But it does get harder as the chance for victories decrease. I like “My mantra now”, meaning that coming back, regrouping, changing strategies a bit; will recompense the value of living. Very well done, as for evil; one more flaming in the eye. Well done. 2014-07-26 10:36:15
May loveJoe GustinJoe- This is a sweet piece. It really doesn’t matter the audience, family, friends, nations, poets- the result is the same. It is also a universal “reality” for all but the most cloistered curmudgeons. L4 “then” (than). This is a piece I’ve read several times and it sticks with one’s heart. It is a piece that draws every reader to take the content and apply it to whatever is a part of their life, aside from the authors direct subject. Excellent Piece. 2014-07-18 10:10:04
RescueJoe GustinOh Joe, being older; how I enjoyed the too many drinks, cigarettes, and matches (not talking of the incendiary type). Colourless (I assume you used the british spelling for “color” in the piece- it works), rainbows- what an image #arc-a- medies- I think, however; other than sharing my affirmation of this particular piece- it might actually take a couple of beers and some good karaoke- to bring you the cheer you request! Well done. 2014-07-18 10:05:07
Revealing AnewDeniMari Z.Deni, I am not sure (other than crossing over) whether this speaks of a physical or purely mental/emotional respite. The thoughts you dwell on, of “morbid pain” and “warmth” “swathes my spirit”, are depths to pinnacle. I am inclined to view the entire piece as loss and the romanticism of recovery. That said, the contrast is wide and evident; and one hopes the writer finds the sought, before the difficulties become that much more binding. 2014-07-18 09:53:03
Attending My catJoe GustinMy Siamese would find this an interesting take on the human / feline interaction. Frankly, the entire piece is nearly purrrrrrrfect. 2014-07-11 11:51:44
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