April Rose Ochinang Claessens's E-Mail Address: acclaessens@yahoo.co.uk
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Displaying Critiques 51 to 55 out of 55 Total Critiques.| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by April Rose Ochinang Claessens | Critique Date |
| Soul Unattended | Annette L Cowling | hi annette, nice poem you got here.i like the melancholy expressed in the visuals throughout the poem.i practically SAW the feeling of the persona of the poem.VERY GOOD!!! even the title of the poem has attracted my attention. this is the first one i read today.i felt every line, even the punctuations. to me they are very well placed. however, in the line "Too many pinecones WEIGHT down the trees" i think theres a typographical error.i believe its supposed to be "Too many pinecones WEIGH down the trees." also in the last two lines,which happen to be my favorite, i believe it should have been "That I am a STONE THROWN away from the border Of this world and the next...I'm the soul unattended."i also suggest that you put the last line in a separate stanza such that it would come out like this: That I am a STONE THROWN away from the border Of this world and the next... I'm the soul unattended. this is to give strength to the last line.well these are all just suggestions.i hope thats fine with you. thanks for sharing this poem.God bless! | 2003-11-11 22:22:49 |
| A Better Man | stephen g skipper | you can make this poem better by using words that you and your readers can SEE just like in the first few line. the line "i shout at God" is a good line. the next line can be better if you use other words that you can see in your mind.FOR EXAMPLE: i shout at God...BUT HE COVERS HIS EARS.this line means the same as "hes not listening" but the difference is that you can see it.i hope you got what i meant. happy revising! | 2003-11-10 04:09:41 |
| Watermarks | Mell W. Morris | hi. i see you have a whole bunch of vocabularies here. thats good. but poetry is not just about what words you know.i know how you feels. i do that too. but if you keep with this style, not everybody may be able to understand your poems.but i should say your use of visuals are good.keep it up. | 2003-11-10 03:55:28 |
| japanese verse 30 (Vulture) | Erzahl Leo M. Espino | hey nice try,but just like i told the others, you have to use words that your readers can SEE so as to appreciate your poem more.good luck! | 2003-11-10 03:49:59 |
| The Cross | Jordan Brendez Bandojo | hi jordan, nice try! but like i told you before, you have to use words that your readers can SEE so that when your readers read this, they will appreciate it more. i did already.but this poem can be better.good luck! | 2003-11-10 03:47:00 |
| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by April Rose Ochinang Claessens | Critique Date |
Displaying Critiques 51 to 55 out of 55 Total Critiques.
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