Wayne R. Leach's E-Mail Address: martij@surfglobal.net

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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Wayne R. Leach	Critique Date
FIDDLIN' 1952	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, a very interesting piece. I have only one thought. I was distracted somewhat by the changing rhyme scheme. Would it be possible to alter a few words with synonyms to make this rhyme scheme more uniform. I think it would strengthen the poem immensely. I did enjoy the tale in spite of the minor distractions of the rhyme thing. Thanks for sharing. I'd love to hear some of that fiddlin'. :>)	2004-07-14 22:04:55
Hunger...	Patricia Gibson-Williams	Beautifully done, sensuous and an interesting metaphor. I like the font selected for this genre, too. Your line breaks and punctuation seem to be in order, as well. How sad unrequited love can be. I believe this is the first piece I have seen from you. If I'm correct - Welcome - and, I'll certainly read more. Now that I've checked out your profile, I know why. I was gone from here for a few years and see that you just returned after a year's hiatus. Welcome back.... and, I will go back and read some more of your work as time allows. Best regards, wrl.	2004-07-14 21:57:56
Least of All Me	Molly Johnson	Molly, what an excellent tribute to one who served. The central portion of this simply astounded me. to carry the banner was a way to flood the world with freedom - [excellent alliteration, nice phrase] or something, not knowing how red - ["or something" really sends the last line an extra punch. Great.] freedom is, how crude and sticky it becomes. - [Powerful adjectives - and different, but truthful. Nice] days haze into the concrete - [then, more alliterations here. The d's truly drive this one home to the close.] dust of rubble while sweat rivers dry on the dying. Which is also innovative and creates such an image of the extinguishing of a young life. A parent's pain by losing a son or daughter cannot be imagined until it is experienced [IMO]. I'll suggest no changes, and applaud your talent. Thanks for posting, and I thank the Sgt. for his service, posthumously or not. May we have peace in our lifetime. wrl	2004-07-14 21:49:27
Lickin' River	Jana Buck Hanks	Beautiful reminder of pleasant days, well told with excellent images and cadence. The line breaks and truncation really dress up this nice piece of work, Jana. I enjoyed this immensely, and cannot improve on it - and, I so want to find something to complain about, so I can feel I am accomplishing something, or helping someone. It's getting so difficult with all the fine poets here now. If I simply enjoy myself, I feel a little greedy or selfish. :>) Thanks for posting this beauty. Peace. wrl	2004-07-11 19:41:53
Impurities are the Weight of Water	Molly Johnson	Beautifully succinct, Molly. Excellent action and imagery. The rhythm is excellent, with the breaks and punctuation perfectly placed. I loved the closing repetitive lines to define this poem so well. I enjoyed the fishing, and was surprised by that ending, notwithstanding the title. Nice ly told with no need for improvement IMHO. Thanks for sharing this one. Peace. wrl	2004-07-11 19:24:57
Double Feature	Jana Buck Hanks	Wonderful job. Quatrains full of outstanding images and alliteration. The surprise ending stanza tells me you lost a friend or acquaintance with whom you saw this "double feature", likely from military service. If so, I thank Freddy, and I'm sure he appreciates the elegy - and remembers, too. I see only one little thing to suggest, that "lowlands" I believe might be one word. Other than that, I'm leaving this one as is, and thanks for sharing what must be an emotional one for you. Peace. wrl	2004-07-06 22:12:59
Spiritoso	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, a very enjoyable and melodic read. Thanks for posting. I noticed a few things I'll merely suggest, and hope it helps. My fancy soul hungers for music. Tissue paper - [I'd suggest a hyphen, or ellipsis in place of the period to continue the thought.] hobbyhorse tunes of yesterday. Lacy - [...then, only a comma here to just continue the list of music desired.] sheets of lustful lyrics lying spread - [Nice "l" allitereation and imagery, but I might drop "lying". Just a thought.] before me. Drumbeats of heart drenched wicked rythem rewound memories. - [Did you mean "rhythm"? Mirth and mayhem play - [Again, nice "th" alliteration here.] sparkling symbolic runes - [the s's make it sing] to feed my insatiable Spirit. - [Is the capital needed?] My soul starves for Spiritoso. - [I keep trying to read this (in the title, too) as Spirituoso, like virtuoso, but don't really know why.] Best wishes for happiness and peace. wrl	2004-07-06 21:55:27
Invisible	Jana Buck Hanks	Compact and complex piece of work. I like it, and noticed only a couple little problems [IMO]. Spelling of "strobeing" - "strobing" might be incorrect, but it is not even in my MW, and "strobe" is only listed as a noun. So, in order for this to work, you might put it in quotes with a hyphen, like "strobe-ing". But I might consider another verb/synonym. One more, born[e] on wings of silence. - [meaning carried] Other than that, I would change nothing. I hope you recuperate from the depression with much haste. Please write on, and share. Happiness and peace is my wish for you. wrl	2004-07-05 17:49:38
Fractals of Fear	Lynda G Smith	Lynda, the cadence and rhyming in this piece are superb [IMO]. The form and the feeling I get from reading this reminds me so much of one of the older formal style poets, but I fail to put a name on him/her at this time. These lines make me want to turn them into longer lines and make the stanzas couplets, simply by the sounds they produce, not that I am even suggesting that would be necessary - not at all. They would make perfect ones, though [IMHO]. Powerful alliterative "s's" in every stanza makes the poem sizzle. I like the way you formed that closing stanza, too - using "will" to fortify the action of the verbs. Very well done; no suggestions for change. Peace. wrl	2004-07-04 20:53:23
Regret	Edwin John Krizek	You paint sadness with your pen so well, the recollections of time's passing. The reader is placed "within" this piece by the use of such excellent images, and the 3rd person works well, too. The truncated lines seem exceptionally effective, Edwin. Only one very slight concern being, that in a few places the sentences seemed very short and choppy, so I wonder if a semi-colon or a comma might replace one or two of the periods in the central portion of this without damaging the content or effect it has on the reader? In the next room two children are playing. Their laughter reminds her she was once a child[.][as] - [delete period, add "as"?] [m]emories of carefree times bounce around her head. She is alone as she remembers[.] - [delete period?] [and][s]lowly [she] turns off the light on the table[,] - [add "and", delete "she"?] and moves - [change "and" to "then" possibly?] toward the door. Just some thoughts for your consideration. No big deal, and I do enjoy it very much as is. Maybe I'm in that sort of reminiscent mood often. Write on, and share. :>) Peace. wrl	2004-07-04 20:39:00
japanese verse 51 (Belt)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Nice form, Erzahl, but the image of a serpent holding up trousers is somewhat confusing. If a snakeskin belt, I can understand, but... I think there must be something else here that I am missing - therefore, the confusion. Is this simply the fact of putting on a belt, for it seems like the [live] serpent is the active participant? I know the title says [Belt], but the poem makes the serpent seem alive. Why not just state that one is putting on a belt? I won't put words in your mouth [or pen], but would like a little different image for this one. Sorry. Peace. wrl	2004-07-04 09:08:49
japanese verse 52 (Zephyr)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Very neat, Erzahl. I loved the imagery of the leaves around your feet, and "the air diva sings", and that personification would probably make this one a senryu. Good job. I can see no need for suggestions. Peace. wrl	2004-07-03 18:06:37
Hacking Chestnuts	G. Donald Cribbs	Nice story, Don. Enjoyable read. I never played either game, only life - and that not to prove anything, or for sport. This piece has a nice cadence that makes it even more enjoyable. Thanks for sharing. Grade is not a concern for me, so just accept my compliments for a piece well done. Peace. wrl	2004-07-03 17:58:11
We Dance	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, what an erotic and pleasureable read! Astounding would be a rather mild understatement. Your metaphors and similes are pure pleasure of which to partake. Love is one of the most difficult of genres, but you have made that seem irrelevant. I did see a couple very minor things to suggest in this one: In L2, "sunrise" should be one word, I think. in sensuous warm sleep scented skin - ["sleep-scented"]? S6 is a wonder to behold; read aloud it simply excites all the cells within the reader [at least, this one]. :>) I cannot see anything else to suggest, except to WRITE ON. Peace, and best wishes. wrl	2004-06-29 20:52:49
The Wall	Jana Buck Hanks	I see you've been to the memorial, and I see how magnificently you have recreated that visit for us to share. Wonderful [can this ever be wonderful? well - vivid, for sure!] imagery. The form in which you have set this elegy fits the matter perfectly, Jana. The enjambment and truncated lines reinforce the power in the words. I can find absolutely nothing wrong here, and you know I am one of the harshest critics on TPL by now, right? Frederick [God rest his soul] is thanking you, I'm sure. Peace in our lifetime - a prayer. wrl	2004-06-29 20:39:51
10:26	Sandra J Kelley	It is certainly a fascinating journey - so far. I will be truly interested in its final destination. Time is one strange creature, no? The spinning orb is one strange place - at times, no? You might consider a hyphen at the end of S1, instead of the period. Then put that period at the end of S2. Then, after the 1st line of S3, you might think about a semi-colon instead of that period, and a comma after 10:26. The punctuation guru [nut] has struck! Well, it's nearly 10:26PM, and I must rest for the morrow approaches with its work ethic in tow. Thanks for posting this most interesting beginning. So far, so very good. Peace. wrl	2004-06-28 22:19:46
Watcher (revised)	Jana Buck Hanks	Aha! Tribute to those who have, over the generations, given all for our liberty. This is a very carefully crafted piece of work, with its delicate form, its abundance of alliteration, rhyming and assonance, its harmonious yet steadfast cadence, its outstanding imagery and powerful closing couplet. You should be mighty proud of this contribution, and I will not offer a thing to detract from its glory. Best wishes for success with this one, Jana. wrl	2004-06-28 21:56:48
Life	Stephanie Corrine Mueller	Neatly rhymed couplets, but so full of agony in what appears to be a terrible outlook, maybe resulting from abuse or neglect. My heart goes out to such as have to deal with this pain, but all I can say is "hang in there". The last line has a typo or spelling error in "com[m]ing". I might consider using some semi-colons at the end of some lines where there is not really an end to a sentence, but just a clause [esp. in the beginning 4 lines. They appear to list what the subject is burdened with, but the list needs a defining subject and verb, like "I carry..." or "Constant...strife/Are the struggles of daily life,/And there's so much pain.../With nothing but sadness, grief and despair. I hope I've helped a little. Like I said, if this is personal, "Hang in there." There is a bottom to every thing life can deal out. I wish you peace and happiness. wrl	2004-06-27 19:10:42
I Am Fred Chapter 111	marilyn terwilleger	Certainly some nice interesting conversations here. Quite the fantasy producer are ye, milady? Loved it, Marilyn. I will NOT suggest more punctuation. :>) I love the colloquialism in the speech. It evokes a much better mood for this type of "ride" with "Fred". Tell me more about this elfen friend, Fred, any time you feel inclined. I wonder if this has any connection regarding your dreams of late? :>) Just kiddin'. Best wishes. wrl	2004-06-27 18:55:02
Tending Tending	Molly Johnson	Meeting Him?? Senuality abounds, at least in my honest opinion, in this piece. The metaphorical comparisons are superb, Molly. The b, d, and s alliterations in S1 together with the assonance of "nude", "loops" and "fruit" are very dramatic and appealing to me. Then again, in S2 you have the d and s allits, and the short i assonance. The imagery is great, as well. The reader is rewarded at the end, too, with that powerful, yet soft, shift of the "breeze" shaking and lifting the air surrounding this scene. Beautiful. I would see nothing to offer, except the possible title. That - very quickly, so ?? Best. wrl	2004-06-27 18:44:32
The Cancer of Tropics	Mark Andrew Hislop	Mark, sometimes from bad days come good creativity. I enjoyed this, connecting it with the struggles going on in the world, and to those who are participating in them. This may not have been your intention after reading yor note, but I think it could fit those circumstances quite well. You have used an abundance of alliteration and assonance which makes this piece resonate for me. It speaks through its vivid imagery and descriptors. For me, a poem need not do anything but exact a significant emotional response with these tools of the poet. This one does that very well. Thank you for accomplishing that, at least for me - on your "bad day". Don't change a thing, esp. the last line. Peace. wrl	2004-06-25 20:12:25
Gambling on Mermaids	Thomas Edward Wright	Thomas, thought-provoking, originality- adorned, imagistic group of sestets. A most enjoyable read. Thanks so much for posting this one. The way you skip from one image to such an array of other images is amazing. They seem unconnected, yet from your pen, you manage to have them in complete attunement. Only one question: Was this meant to be a stammer, or is it a typo? (Hey, was [was] you screaming from the turret?) Other than that, fellow poet, I can make no suggestions. On the list with it - pronto!	2004-06-24 21:26:27
The Hive	Molly Johnson	Hey! Molly/Melissa. Nice to get over that identity thing, eh? Sorry to bring it back up, but I am just teasing - a little. :>) lol Anyway, I truly enjoyed this one. It is loaded with imagery of the finest kind - sound, too [the ee's in S2 keep us reminded of the bees in S1, and connect them to S3] IMO. The closing 2 lines were a surprise [and that's fine], but it added just a touch of loneliness and sadness for the lack of children. The assonance [e.g. the u's in S1, and the short i's at the close of S2] was truly great, as well. I see nothing to suggest for improving this. Thanks for sharing this one with us [busy little bees] :-) Share more as time will allow. Peace. wrl	2004-06-24 21:13:30
japanese verse 50 (Swallows)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Well done, Erzahl. I see the reflections of the clouds that these sea birds pierce for their food. Sounds like a really beautiful day at the seashore. Nice color, action in your usual and excellent form for the haiku. Season and nature can be seen in this quite nicely. Best wishes for peace and happiness. wrl	2004-06-23 20:39:42
Tree Forting	G. Donald Cribbs	Ah yes, Don, the sweet memories of childhood - and, child rearing - and, dreams of the future so very near us as we speed through youth to adulthood. Nice, tender and image-filled read. The extended form of the lines works well in this type of genre, IMO. Thanks for the memories! for I used to love to climb trees - still do, but I am very cautious now, at 66. ;>) Nice strong closing. Best wishes. wrl	2004-06-19 19:55:37
Jaden	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, beautiful image work in this concisely designed piece. There is so much said in so little time or words. Very haiku-ish form. Good assonance in the beginning. Nice alliteration in the t' of S3 and the b's in S4. One spelling error, I believe. "lightning" in S#. Other than that, I'd not change a thing about this blessed creation. [pun intended]. Peace. wrl	2004-06-19 19:38:18
Peace	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, thanks for posting this nice poem. Interesting requests for which most of us seek answers. You state them very well with the rhymes, the assonance. I would have liked a tiny bit more punctuation in this one. Whereas you chose to capitalize each line, it seemed a small challenge for the reader to locate the endings of some sentences, or clauses. No big deal though. I don't think it necessary to capitalize "Soul" in the closing line. Other than that, nothing to suggest. I enjoyed it. Peace. wrl	2004-06-18 18:05:02
Tree	marilyn terwilleger	Ah, Marilyn, there is a little life left in the old tree, eh? Wonderful read, especially all the s allits. After researching "simoom", I located this poor, struggling for survival tree. How you managed to rhyme all of this without being boring amazes me. Ususally, such an abundance of rhymes [esp. end rhymes] is just that - boring, but not here. This is an exciting and visually explicit read. Wonderful ending, too, a nice surprise to see life remaining, when all along I expected if to turn to the dust surounding it. Thanks for sharing. I cannot see a thing to change, so write on. Peace. wrl	2004-06-18 17:54:03
Cartoons	Karen Ann Jacobs	Interesting form, concise lines, direct statement, great imagery and rhythm. Overall, a cute humorous read. Thanks for creating a smile on this usually sullen face. Peace. wrl	2004-06-18 17:44:15
Plane Perspective	Mick Fraser	Nicely formed and rhymed quatrains, Mick. Really interesting read, a nice story, keeping the reader hanging [pun intended] until the end. and I was praying God "save our souls". - [Should the quote begin: "...praying 'God, save our souls.'"?] My only suggestion. Though not a golfer, I like the images, and the relationships you've connected between it and flying. Neat. Good title and some slant rhymes that work well, too. Write on, and thanks for posting this one. Peace. wrl	2004-06-17 20:48:09
Daybreak	Jana Buck Hanks	Welcome back. I haven't seen your writings, nor critiqued them before, but checked your profile to see that you were here last year, too. I wasn't. I left for several years before returning. Regarding this little beauty, I like the bright imagery you portray with some nice alliteration and assonance. I think L2 in S3 has a typo with the 2 plurals, but you've probably caught that slip already. I might make it "grassy paths." Just a thought. Nice little poem. I'll read some more of yours, the older ones, too, if they're still there when I get to them. Write on. Peace. wrl	2004-06-17 20:30:56
Old Age	Edwin John Krizek	Provocative, well metered poem, Edwin. Thanks for posting these nice images to stir many of the reader's senses. I, too, hope to make it through one more winter, but .................	2004-06-17 20:21:27
♥ Moon Dance ♥	Carolyn Gale McGovern-Bowen	Welcome to TPL. You have submitted a couple very nice pieces. In this you use a style very similar to the haiku for your stanza form. Very concise imagery, and a provocative read. A very apt description of that image so many fall in love with, and under. Steadfast companion, Keeper of secret dreams, Comforting mystic light. - [Excellent c alliteration, ee assonance in L2] Flawless compass, Skirting gathering clouds, - [a lot of ing's. I might use "gathered clouds", it retains alliteration, too.] Trusty meandering course. The next to last stanza is truly a beauty. I might suggest a little change in the last one. The 2nd line seems kind of harsh at its end. I like the "cosmic rhythms" though. One word can sometimes make a world of difference. Just a very minor suggestion. Again welcome, and thanks for posting this nice piece of work. Peace. wrl	2004-06-16 13:43:58
I Know You Love Me	Edwin John Krizek	Edwin, another beautiful love poem from your pen. Excellent beginning imagery to attract the reader. In the central portion, you turn to the dark side [demons], but then quickly resolve that with the beauty of new love -waited for, for so long. Interesting and emotional reading. and settles like confetti on the living room floor. - [Great simile!] I know you love me - [a little punctuation like a comma or semi-colon here?] I have waited a long time for this feeling. Thanks for posting this, I enjoyed it.	2004-06-16 13:31:09
Homesick	Edwin John Krizek	Sensitive and emotional read, sir. Excellent images, assonance. Nice surprise ending, though slightly hinted at earlier. I'm sure you caught the "presen-" typo [L8] by now. I wonder, though, if this isn't just a little too staccato-like for this genre or topic. The lines of single words seem to create pauses when I tend to want to rush ahead for more. Maybe that is the intent. One instance is: I feel the pain of my loneliness - [I might drop this one "my"??] in the center of my soul. It calls to me until - [...and, I might put this word in the next line to make that phrase more concrete. Just a thought.] I am ready to cry out the way wolves howl at the moon - [Nice w alliteration and image.] calling to the lost. Thanks for posting this - reminding some of us where and what we have been through, are going through. You are not alone, but you say what you are feeling very well.	2004-06-16 13:20:04
Electron Self	Carolyn Gale McGovern-Bowen	Very nice elegy. I see much emotion, then more philosophy than most could place in this many words. Very intriguing poem. Rhythmic. Alliterative. I wonder if it might be even more powerful if stanza lengths were identical, or even if it were a continuum, except the beginning and ending lines. Just a thought. It is very powerful as is, though. I am certain that the recipient would be honored. Well done.	2004-06-16 13:00:06
Eternal	Thomas H. Smihula	Hi, this is a very interesting read, due particularly to the unique form. I detect a capitalization sequence of every other line in the quatrains, then each single line, but none in the ending couplet. Is this intentional, I wonder? I think the theme might be developed a little more completely, but it reads quite nicely as is. It just seemed so short for describing the subject of the piece, and for a "script everlasting". I jest a little. :>) You have written a nice poem. Thanks for contributing again. I see it's been a while since your last post. Welcome back, and I hope to see more of your work. Peace. wrl	2004-06-14 21:38:30
THE CLOUD THAT FOLLOWS ME	Michael N. Fallis	Well written, but so depressing and sad to feel the negative emotion pouring from this pen. Some clever and unusual metaphors to capture the reader's eye and ear. The strength of your symbolism is excellent. I don't see how I could recommend any changes. I do wish for you, happiness and peace. wrl	2004-06-14 21:27:26
Paper Scatters	Jacob W Roberts	Jacob, I, for one, welcome your extremely talented writing. This is very nice. You've used so many of the tools available to the poet, and used them well. The imagery is spectacular, and quite varied, which really awakens all of the reader's senses to absorb this tale. The amount of alliteration used is almost overwhelming. I do think in L1 of S2, the "some times" should be one word. Other than that, I see no need for suggested changes. I hope to see/read more of your work. Thanks for posting and for joining us here at TPL. Peace. wrl	2004-06-14 21:15:46
Dancing For The Gods	Rick Barnes	I refuse to linger when there's no need. Beautifully done. Very rhythmic dance, very acute form [pun intended]. Nicely rhymed, perfect cadence. If Joanne isn't appreciative, I will be exceedingly surprised. Write on, sir. Peace. wrl	2004-06-14 21:02:09
Morning Coffee	Edwin John Krizek	Matter of fact, I think I'd like a cup if it's as good as this. Nice relaxing, very peaceful read with nice imagery, and wonderful emotional catch, crossing your morning coffee with love. One might ask, "So, why not?" You implanted, almost obliquely, some nice slant rhymes: "skies-says", "by-gallery", "sit-at" et al. I caught the "cafe-gray" in the beginning, but wonder if transposing the 3rd line might make it more obvious and stronger, like "skies/of fluorescent gray" or "skies/fluorescently gray". Just a thought. Another "ridiculous" tidbit: how about "pink pedal pushers". No! Just kidding here.:>) Thanks for submitting. Peace. wrl	2004-06-14 20:55:13
The Dust of Worms	G. Donald Cribbs	Don, I would almost call this excellent piece an allegorical conceit poem. It goes beond the metaphorical in my estimation. It really is well constructed and very thought provoking, requiring some acute attention from the reader. Your imagery is exemplary, the short "e" assonance in S3 combined with the alliteration of the "f"s making this stanza my favorite of the lot. Thanks for the extensive introductory post. It helped me understand more completely the exactness of your intent. I don't see how I could suggest improvement, unless to expand on that closing verse just a little. Good luck with the book. I must have a copy. Regards, wrl	2004-06-14 20:35:09
Return to Reeow	Regis L Chapman	Reeg, another remarkable contribution. The alliteration, rhyming, meter,aasonance and occasional enjambment make this such an enjoyable and easy read. I am happy that the issue[s] has/have been resolved. I am even more happy that you decided to share this with us. Write on, sir - in happiness and peace, if possible.	2004-06-13 18:56:12
Hosanna In A Hole	Regis L Chapman	I think it is super. You have used some of the poets' tools with utmost dexterity. I would only make one minor suggestion for change, that being to place one more comma in it, thusly: however[,] whomsoever's hosanna pulls the lever knows this better than you. I can find nothing else, except enjoyment here. It will be read again, probably several times. If I can think of something else, I'll PM you in email. Thanks for sharing this nice one.	2004-06-13 18:47:29
One As Beautiful As You	Mell W. Morris	Excellent job, Mell. Your interior rhymes from the enjambment works wonders for this piece, its music. Simply loved this part: "... /I place A flower behind my ear to hear its scent But uncover no musical conflation which Feels like an arid field awaiting rain." I looked up those words that were beyond my minute vocabulary, but found nothing about which to complain. Poor me. ;>) This is one beautiful poem, sir. It will definitely be on my short list. You are a composer of superb melodies.	2004-06-13 18:40:45
The Desert Wind	sheryl ann minter	Sheryl, this is what a poem should be, filled with imagery, simile, alliteration, assonance, etc. A wonderful and very enjoyable read. Thanks for posting. I see only one thing to change, so minor I'm almost ashamed to point it out. A dog howls in the wind to the rattling beat of this trains song. -[apostrophe in "train's"?] I could not find another thing about which to complain. Beautifully done. I'll be reading more of yours. Peace wrl	2004-06-12 19:03:11
Never Yield	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, very well constructed, with some excellent use of alliteration, assonance and interior rhyme. I wished only for one comma [after "Alone"] in the whole piece, or juxtaposed the 1st 2 words. Either way would have eliminated the slight hesitation that the beginning gave me. Great piece filled with emotional outpouring. Nice imagery, too. Thanks for sharing it. peace. wrl	2004-06-10 19:23:29
Bushes	Regis L Chapman	Reeg, clever metaphorical piece. Politically incorect, you know! If only we could downsize DC. If only some libertarians could find a niche, get their toe in the door, at least. Dreamer, aren't I? I liked the read. 'Nuff said. Score as you will. Peace. wrl	2004-06-10 19:15:54
Dragging Time	sheryl ann minter	Hi, and welcome, sheryl. I don't believe I've had the pleasure of reading you work. I like this interesting perspective and the great imagery. Delaying time to enjoy the moment, the love, the passion. Holding and tying the hands of father time is superb. I couldn't find "temptuous" in my MW dictionary. Should it be "tempting" or "tempestuous" maybe? And one other little question: Should "angel's" be "angels'", for I think to have more than one halo, you need plural angels, and "angel's" is singular possessive. Picky, ain't I? :>) Beautiful submission. Thanks. Peace. wrl	2004-06-09 22:05:04
Good Grief	Regis L Chapman	Reeg, so many questions, so little time! Excellent and interesting write/read. Many tools put to use, fashioning this piece. In spite of my liking the formality of capitals, punctuation and all that, I can accept and appreciate this in its present form. The lack of the capitals after each question seems to make the flow improve, not weaken it - oddly enough. Peace. wrl	2004-06-09 21:51:33
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