Nancy Ann Hemsworth's E-Mail Address: foxtail@nbnet.nb.ca

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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Critique Date
verse 70 (Candle)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	I like the thought behind this..just a note..second line has 8 syllables not true to original form but non the matter to me. Just thought you might want to know, if you didn't already..(:	2007-04-05 15:44:26
verse 62 (Scarecrow)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	humm, I am really impressed, so glad I happened upon these.	2007-04-05 15:42:32
japanese verse 41 (Rainbow)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	nicely described..you are very expressive in this short style.	2007-04-05 15:41:42
japanese verse 46 (Hyenas)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	I love the use of the soft "s" sounds throughout this little haiku, which as I think you know is one of my favorite poetry forms. very well done my friend. I am just over here checking some of your poems out. hope you don't mind. Nancy	2007-04-05 15:40:35
japanese verse 47 (Ava Jean)	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	this is lovely and well done Erzahl, I wrote a poem for Debbie Spicer called RAGE and it was published in an online web newsletter called raperecovery. She is a beautiful and powerful soul our Debbie and deserves much credit and admiration. Look up the poem if you wish it is on site. Blessing to you Nancy	2007-04-05 15:38:41
my first tanka	charles r pitts	Hi Charles, I just happened to run into this while checking the list and saw your title..you had mentioned one time that you were interested in these forms. This is quite interesting, most tankas are nature based, a extention of a haiku usually. I like this because you could be defining many different creatures (smile) which gives the reader licence to slip whatever or whomever into the lines. every interesting and I like your slant on the form.	2007-04-02 21:27:42
My Husband's Mother	marilyn terwilleger	oh Marilyn do I ever relate to this poem. I think of all these things when I think of my grandmothers house and the whole feeling of the era. It brings warm and melancoly thoughts to mind. I have never lost a husband to death but the description here rings true. She sounds like she was a wonderful lady and strong in spirit even when not remembering she still held that softness and loving side, the compassion still there an inward understanding of sorts. I love the lines "Robustness has left her now; the essence of her is gone." but I disagree somewhat with this statement of "her essence being gone"..the essence is in the continued compassion..that is the "biggness of her spirit"..	2007-04-02 18:03:33
Avoiding Tar and Feathers	James C. Horak	Hi James...do I ever like this little poem. I am a lover of short verse discriptive verse and this is one. It gives me great clear images for sure..LOL..quite a bit of humor in this piece and it makes a strong point..closing your thoughts very well indeed. I love the descriptive first passage of watching ones tongue, at least that is how I took this to mean. Wonderful way with words, "tight wire walking lexicon embracing" great line! "tactlessly enduring gin sipping trundler" I love the connection of the off balance image and the "gin sipping" both a weave of sorts..great little poem, really enjoyed it..thanks for sharing. Nancy	2007-04-02 17:53:58
Young Man on the Ropes	James C. Horak	lot of truth to that I feel..I like as I think I said before the innocence and knowledge so simply stated in these short poems on childrens questions and seeking of truth..you are right, "if it cannot be known to a child can it be true" for children have such pure and quik way of slicing to the truth and reconizing it. Too bad we didn't all become flawed through the years..thanks for the second in this series James..enjoyed Nancy	2007-01-19 14:38:09
Winterpane - Etheree #3	Mary J Coffman	I really like this Mary..I wrote one called "Silver Storm" don't know if you critiqued it or not.."frost forests of glass trees" lovely just lovely..and very descriptive. Also loved the way you ended this "luculent panes of winter windows." nice job	2007-01-08 20:18:22
Boy Blithe and The Krebs Cycle	James C. Horak	I like the delivery of this poem and the childlike wisdom within it. You say you will post more of these. I think it a good idea James. This is strong and straight like a child..no fuss no muss, just straight and simple phrasing and truths..	2007-01-08 20:05:50
The Girl On the Bridge	Ellen K Lewis	this is a powerful piece, I like the way you constructed each little sceen in individual stanzas Ellen and also I like the way it reads..some of my favorite lines are.. "The two of them went to work on a long old argument" and also the ending of the first stanza, like an after thought just dangling "but the beer was cold". I can see why you would be in tears.	2007-01-08 19:58:32
Ah, Such Memories	Erzahl Leo M. Espino	Hi Erzahl, nice to see you back again..what a lovely poem you have presented to us. I love the use of "shadows dancing" to express the recall of memories..nicely done, and a great and vivid image as well. I have a few suggestions to make, ..in the second stanza, should it not be "They" instead of "it"..for if you are talking of the shadows they are plural.and in your end line, I would use the word "smiling" in "and see the half moom smiling" unless you are talking of watching the moom on numberous occasions. Loved the images in this little gem. Hope I am helpful, or perhaps way off and if I am, just simply ignore me..(smile)	2007-01-08 19:51:52
Walking In Your Holy Land	Claire H. Currier	Hi Claire..I was just checking around on site and found this poem of yours. So full of faith and hope, and it reads like a song. Thanks for sharing this piece once more with us.	2007-01-03 17:41:34
This Evil Companion	Ellen K Lewis	I know this feeling and I am sure all do from time to time, even though not from the same circumstance as you, we all feel depressions in our lives. You have written this so that the reader understands your feelings so well with your examples."Even my own tears defy me as they refuse to fall" this has happened to me, and oh it is such a terrifying feeling when one can not even cry and release.	2006-12-07 11:10:12
Together	Deborah L Bird	I like this little poem of announced love and realization. I like how first the water touches the two , like the start of love and then it eventually engulfs you into itself as love does and you become a whole different being.	2006-12-06 11:26:04
Seasonal Perceptions	Terrye Godown	and I really enjoyed it. I loved your opening line, it is delicious to read..and the metaphore is very effective indeed..the seasons of our lives, thought a well used topic you have done it justice with your wonderful word choices and this is my favorite passage.."Deciding how to unthaw its secrets winter patiently waits laced up in its rugged bootstraps shaking from my blanket of memories cinders of warm fires past the kindling of laughter and dreams" very lovely indeed..	2006-12-04 20:12:05
Would You Deny Me One of My Small Joys?	Kenneth R. Patton	I like this metaphore and think it really works here. I can see you there leashed at your desk waiting for the tease, trained as it were, held at bay and then getting that reward and gnawing away gleefully..so many dogs in jobs we are..this is clever, and I enjoyed it.	2006-12-04 20:05:15
Wrath	marilyn terwilleger	wow Marilyn there is so much fury in the way you have written this vivid discriptive personified poem. One could see the mighty hand the sharpening of teeth forced up from the ocean...this is the part that really left me chilled." Fumes And stench were the aftermath Of Satan’s wrath. " I have one suggestion to be made..In this line" Somber streams of supplicating tears spilled" I think the "s" alliteration could be lessoned somewhat . It seems to feel a little forced. Over all an excellent write and written with such passion.	2006-12-04 19:58:20
Intentions	Dellena Rovito	so true , so very true..well stated little piece of writing. You have a way with the short and to the point pieces..and you know I am so much a fan of those.	2006-12-04 19:38:54
All Hallows Eve	Paul R Lindenmeyer	This is just delightful..love the way it flows and your rhyme scheme. glad I came across it.	2006-12-04 19:33:59
Lila	DeniMari Z.	I enjoyed the read and can see how this would appeal to children. I like the way you rhythm and rhyme scheme flows to tell this story and that you have gone day by day and the personification of the doll brings much to this. There is something tender about a doll or bear or toy of some sort being left on the shelf..I guess we relate somehow. thanks for sharing this delightful seasonal write.	2006-12-04 16:34:17
By Moon's Light	Dellena Rovito	I love the way this little poem is constructed Dellena. I read it a couple of times to really take it in. I really like your word choices such as "viable thrives as air." very nice feel to the read in this one my friend..thanks for sharing.	2006-12-04 16:26:42
Shine On Star Of Hope	Ellen K Lewis	this is so powerful Ellen..you wow me with your writing and abilities to tell a story straight from the heart. Vivid these images of death and despair etc..but then there is "hope", not a God of whom you speak, but "she" the hope of the human heart..the one that sings of the good in man, the one who nudges us to go on, and brings the vinettets of love and life and love to us again...no Ellen her voice will never cease, for that would be the end of us all..thanks so much for sharing this with me this Saturday morning..makes me go on with my day with more of that "hope" you spreak of here in my ear. Nancy	2006-11-25 09:11:34
EXPOSED	Mark D. Kilburn	oh Mark I do love the meter of this piece and your rhyme scheme is lovely..makes the reader drift along your lines. I love all the images that you present..and the metaphores of "tree branches"etc...it has a "haunting" feel to it..I know that might seem obvious but I am writing it anyway..I see you only have 1 other comment and I think that is a shame, this is lovely and so well written. This is the stanza that most hit me "Long have nude limbs haunted children long, have west winds blown fear and children the ghouls hold so precious when haunts of phantasms draw near." I feel it is a metaphore for child abuse, am I right? thanks for sharing this with me it is very vivid and worth the read.	2006-11-25 09:05:00
Sunday Morning Scene	Teresa Green	LOL this is so sweet a write. I could invision all that you have penned and know the experience of it..believe me!! I love dogs and especially labs.they are so so childlike and naughty..thanks for all the lovely images and the smile this morning..Nancy	2006-11-17 09:11:04
Home Is Where Your Truck Is	Ellen K Lewis	I enjoyed this home spun poem..got that down home feeling to it and so natural and fun to read. A look into the everyday and the excitement of the new truck..lol..I know the feeling with the new car..(smile) I like your line "do you think my truck is sexy"..hee hee , it is after all an extention of the owner, is it not?	2006-11-17 09:06:36
Ghost Town	marilyn terwilleger	oh Marilyn I so enjoyed this ...the inline rhyme, which this is one"walked in the heap and sweep"nicely done and is a favorite style of mine and makes the poem sing. I also like the way your use the cuplets part way through to bring attention and make the reader change rhythm in the reading. This is so true to the poet and the best kind of poetry, emotional and drawn from experieces of life. I am writing a short story now in the works about my father's funeral and know the emotions that something like this can stir up, not only for the poet but the reader as well...lovely job, and thanks for sharing this so personal thing. nancy	2006-11-17 09:03:11
Ode To Winter	Ellen K Lewis	I really like the metor and rhyme scheme you have used to bring this piece along. Lovely images and the reader can well tell of your love afair with prairie. Thank you for the beautiful tour through your eyes and your words. nancy	2006-11-17 08:54:16
Bipolar and Me	stephen g skipper	I decided to take up your offer and take a look at some of your words, and I am glad that I did just that. I have a few friends that are bi polar and by reading your words I feel that I can get a better grip on how it must be to ride this sea of emotions. This is very well stated indeed and gives the reader a true look through the eyes of the master. The part that I really felt hit home so much for me is that you have questioned that you would keep the condition and "yes" you would. That is very interesting indeed, a complete acceptance of ones self and that is something in it's own right and says much for your strenght and character. Thanks for sharing this and enlightning this reader. nancy	2006-11-17 08:47:37
The Opposing Attorneys	Debbie Spicer	oh my God Debbie...I had no idea ..this is terrible to be judged by the ignorant and thusly treated unfairly. To write is to be you, nothing to do with the problem, because of what you have been through and what it has felt within you is the reason you wrote and write in the first place..I am so saddened to think that you are so left in darkness..even this is turned against you..unbelieveable!! ((((hugs))))...are you sure they do really care..or are capable..I am not! love ya..nancy	2006-09-04 11:48:15
Skipping Stones	marilyn terwilleger	oh marilyn I love the structure of this peace. The inconsistant rhyme is very effective and makes the reader pause for a moment to ponder over your words. This is softly written, with such a lingering longing well after one has finished reading. I like the personification of the sky looking down and beyond...and the in line rhyme here sings nicely. "but I stard here still, without consent or design, Remembering..how lonely a feeling you leave with me.	2006-08-06 17:29:08
In This City	Ellen K Lewis	wow Ellen..you have described so vividally in this little individual images all the torror, depression, false hopes, devisation, addictions self hatered etc that I could possible think of. You have made such a powerful statement, in everyday, no frills language just like the people you speak of..This brought a tear to my eye I could feel the desperation, and have seen most if not all of the faces of the people you speak of..sad reality brought front line here...making the reader take a look at last, for some refuse to see don't they...the stanza that struck me the strongest was "And at this park the dead are buried people visit here in hope of refuge." no more has to be said here does it! death better then life... Hard to "leave" easier said then done...how do some pick up all the mental "baggage" they carry, not easy to answer to.."In this silent city a voice still babbles proclaiming a victory to all who will leave." excellent write..Nancy	2006-08-04 19:34:11
Moonstones	James C. Horak	this is so romantic, don't loose the romance James it flows so well from your pen to paper. I love the metaphores here..and love the images. You have such a way with words and a briefness that I admire. I love the thought of "pail of tears" innocence is reflected here as it is a image that makes on think of children at the seashore, also ties in with the children reference in the beginnning stanza..all of course meanings of innocence, almost playlike...very sensual write. I truely enjoyed it!	2006-08-04 19:09:17
Trampled Ground	James C. Horak	Oh I love how his is so classical in feel and well written..you can sense the urgency in this piece, through the pleading for some inperfection...I like the approach, short and strong and beautifully romantic with such longing.	2006-08-04 19:03:16
Electric Activity....Brain Diversity	Ellen K Lewis	oh my God Ellen this is such a gift to me. I have worked with people with this condition since I have been 17 yr. old and am now 53..and have never had the opportunity to understand how it effects them, how they really feel and the way they experience it themselves. I know how some people treat you differently, afraid of you etc..and I get very angry, igorance is horrific. You have written a powerful and dramatic poem here, one from honest and painful experience. You are to be commended for your courage to do so, and praised for your powerful voice. Bravo! Nancy	2006-08-02 20:10:54
Tender Duplicity	Mary J Coffman	wow!! harsh! and well done indeed. I love the way you play with language without loosing the meaning and making it into wonderful images for the reader..sorry for the short critique, not going for points..LOL..just wanted you to know I was here and read. Nancy	2006-08-02 20:03:32
Memoriter	Brandon Gene Petit	this is fantastic Brandon..I loved the way you rhymed this it is lulling even with the subject at hand ..you have asked so many questions that most ponder..and other's never thought of but with reading go..hmmm? really liked this you have brought out so many emotions with this write..my favorite stanza is When I glimpse of the laughter that waits beyond doom Will I still hear the pain in my mother’s good-bye? When letters are chiseling into my tomb Will I know life again in a new infant’s cry?" nice job..	2006-08-02 19:58:59
Painting A Picture	Dellena Rovito	this is great my friend..I really enjoyed this..it flows so well as ith the pendulum you speak of. Loved this line "back dropped by sky high blues. " very nice when read aloud, as is the rest of this read..I like the way you ended this piece as well with the rhyme and the reference to the devine..nice !	2006-08-02 19:53:49
Seaside Serenade	Mary J Coffman	this is lovely..I really enjoyed all your alliteraton placed throughout, you painted beautiful images with your words.. this is not a long critique I just went on site to try and add some poems to my list..etc..and I really liked this piece. ((Nancy))	2006-08-02 19:51:26
Autumn Sundae (Cinquain)	Mary J Coffman	Oh Mary I just happened to be looking up someone who did a critique of my latest poem and scrolled down to see others that he has done as well..and there it was, this little gem of a cirquain. Oh how I love this tight structured forms, and I couldn't resist taking a peek. I am here to tell you that I think this is such a wonderful example of the form. It is simply delicious!! in color and images and I could see so clearly and poetically the scene you have presented here. "cinnamon flames lap at blueberry skies." favorite lines. I love your use of personification, it makes this alive for this reader in more ways than one and gives it such vibrance with our choice of words. I know how hard this are to write and write well, and I want you to know that I appreciate this little venue more that you know!! BRAVO! Nancy P.S. I know this is an older write of yours , and won't count for this months standings, but I love to hear positive comments on my work no matter what..take care!	2006-07-11 09:36:19
Rhythm of Romance	Ellen K Lewis	this is a light little write, moves pretty well along in this approperiately simply chosen language. I like the ideas behind this, the simple things in life, no frills etc. just the journey of relationship over the years. I have one suggestion for you Ellen. the term "swept off my feet" is an over used term, I think I would try for something else here, but that is just me. I really like your repeative line "rythm of romance" it goes so well with the theme of the dance, and worked really well. Nice metaphore as well..	2006-07-03 05:48:42
Constant	Dellena Rovito	Oh this is great! I love the rhyming couplets that you have arranged your poem in. They make this skip along so well, every thought a skipping spot. Sounds like a skipping song to me...and I think this is approperiate , reminds me of constant changing which is the theme of your poem. "Concrete has a written dictate but then it chips, cracks, breaks and flakes. " my favorite stanza, this is so true!!	2006-07-02 10:32:26
Now that I am dead	Mark Andrew Hislop	I love the rhyme and theme of this work. You have done an excellent job with your rhyme and images ..never seem forced. You have made this reader wonder and ponder on your thoughts. This is a really unique angle to write in.."since I am dead" ..it would surely give the viewer a much different and clearer view of things, it is interesting to me that you have managed to see this so clearly while still caring the beat of your heart..perhaps that is "why"..really enjoyed your perspective..and your words.	2006-07-02 10:18:41
A Spot On The Prairie	marilyn terwilleger	Oh such beautiful and well written images within this work Marilyn. Thanks for taking this reader along with you for this visit back in time and memory. I could picture myself there..and feel my hair at the back of my neck. I can so relate to this experience. some fav. lines in this for me are "It was the bluest noon in June" nice inline rhyme here, it sings. "Gossamer ghosts hovered above the floor Like every fairy wheel and thread, long Fingers of light shone through the cove." This piece appeals to all the senses, I could smell this place as well.don't know exactly why, but that is how strong you have written your images..and I love the way you changed the mood in this as well from stanza to stanza, ending with "My hard breathing ceased, my joy increased As I drank of the stillness and peace" and dismissing the "ghost". truly enjoyed this piece.	2006-07-02 10:13:26
Solstice of Suffering	Mary J Coffman	I just love the poetry form you have chosen. It is so classical in feel and gives the subject just treatment I feel. Your use of the soft "s" sounds in your alliterations is soothing although I can truly feel the pain and emptyness of your heart, I can also feel the mending taking place. Slow and softly upon your soul. I love this type of writing, classic and it is like music ..your own inner music softly hummed. Thanks for sharing and take care. Nancy	2006-07-02 10:07:46
Secrets	marilyn terwilleger	I found the first stanza so vivid in image. "Watch flakes of sun On the chop of water" that is what they look like, never thought if it that way..thanks for the vison! and it is like the chopping of the water our memory, bits and pieces coming in and out of consciousness, and yes trapped there repeatively over and over to haunt. I like your clever similies in this and the over all feeling..I love the ending, it is so "there" I took the footprints to be the impressions of the sole (soul) always sinking, embedded in the sands of time.	2006-06-23 11:28:16
I Believe	marilyn terwilleger	This is so lovely and wise...such a soft and light feeling to this piece which so suits your subject. "I believe" repeative throughout was an excellent way of presenting your ideas here..makes the reader stop and take in your words. Makes everyone of your beliefs stand out so well, and they are wonderful beliefs . Some people go through life not knowing what they believe in their life journey and keep on questioning. But I do know this much "But most of all I believe in His Radiance and colossal grace" ..lovely and spiritual write marilyn and lovely images as well."I believe in rainbows with pastel hues And trailing clouds flair" and here again in "I believe in trees shivering song And blue in a boundless sky. I believe the aria of a mountain’s throng And smiles on a child’s face" This poem stimulates the senses, not only the eyes..but all the others..	2006-06-16 05:15:21
To Mommy	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	I find it interesting that you have started this piece with an apology!! I guess we all feel you have come somewhat short of what was expected of us..even though we have been loved and nurtured and cared for..why the regrets I wonder? You have had a much happier relationship with your mother from what I can tell from this write..but no matter the experience I have from your first stanza realized that we all have the feeling of failure to some extent. I like the innocence of this piece, the feel of childhood throughout and enjoyed your lines. thanks for sharing.	2006-06-05 10:06:38
To dream of sleep	stephen g skipper	wow!! do I ever like the ideas you have presented in this piece...and not one person could not relate to this piece on one level or the other. I like the mention of the "ferryman" this coming from Egypian death beliefs I think?? perhaps I am wrong, but I recall it of some culture..and the fee, from the release of pugtory (not likey spelt proberly"LOL I am a terrible speller.. So within this piece you have made the dreams the demons that reak our soul. I think the idea of "In dreamless sleep the domain of the truly innocent?" is an excellent question, observation and you have certainly made this reader ponder..	2006-06-05 10:02:07
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Nancy Ann Hemsworth	Critique Date

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