marilyn terwilleger's E-Mail Address: mterwilleger@bresnan.net


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I have written poetry most of my life, but mostly for myself or my family until I joined the poetic link. I am a widow living in the Rocky Mountains. This web site has given me a great deal of enjoyment plus helpful comments about my work and I intend to continue writing.

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Displaying Critiques 51 to 100 out of 904 Total Critiques.
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Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by marilyn terwillegerCritique Date
The Dragon InsideDellena RovitoHi D....thank heavens for your last line...I was beginning to worry about you! Such a dark poem full of angst and sorrow. You have written some scary images but did it with skill. You also have some unusual phrases that are clever play on words....lost into ever....from whiles ago...holiness of self....useless to matter, zero to wonder.... Very compelling and different. You may just have out-done yourself! Good read! Blessings....marilyn 2008-02-16 15:18:11
Just ShitRene L BennettHi Rene....This is a stunning poem. The curse of poets...we are bound to write but not everything we write pleases us. I know this drill only too well! I think you said it just right when you wrote 'don't read what you write.' When I read some of my old poems...most of which are posted here, I just cringe. What I thought was good then, now seems drab and ordinary. Hopefully we can learn from our mistakes. Your last two lines, of this piece, are superb! A poem I throughly enjoyed! Blessings....marilyn2008-02-14 15:07:44
Melancholy’s FinaleKenneth R. PattonHi Ken....Don't know if I ever told you but I am a fan of the terse poem. I think it takes skill to say a lot with just a little and you have done that here. Some may not understand how our souls can be sad but I believe I do. It is a more profound sadness than that of the mind and it takes much effort to turn that sadness into a smile, no matter how hard we try. I think the loss of a loved one causes the soul to weep and you are right it requires a miracle to rescue us. Well written poem that makes on stop and think. Well done. marilyn2008-02-01 14:55:47
Within a Moment...Mary J CoffmanHi Mary.....this poem is so beautiful that it is almost heart wrenching. It is extremely difficult to write a poem about love as it has all been said before in one way or the other. What you have accomplished here is fresh and new. You found a way of saying what all those poems before, have said but with new words and phrases that are delicious. You have created some wonderful images with your pen. This piece will stand the test of time and it is one I will read again and again.....brava! Blessings....marilyn p.s. I hope you are feeling better...let me know.2008-01-28 17:34:02
Proceed With CautionRene L BennettHi Rene....This terse poem packs a powerful punch. It speaks of how we can lose our way, for whatever reason, and find our days and nights are emobossed with self doubt. That is not a good place to be but sometimes it takes a lot of strength to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and go forward with a life. Especially a new life for which we are not use to or equipped for. In my life I have met many obstacles and felt I was not equipped to handle them...but with a little determination and trust in myself I always manage to rise above those bumps and go on. This is such an uplifting poem to me....I believe this poet has found her way to relief! Great poem with a great message. Blessings....marilyn2008-01-22 16:39:46
Gone The Sweet Sound Of The LarkDellena RovitoHi D.....this is one of those poems that gives me a mixed message on the first read. But as I read it the second time it is clear to me that the poet is searching for something in life that is true not false, the best part of life without enduring the worst. I feel some disappointment in the words...like the poet has been fooled too many times to really believe in much for fear of being hurt one more time. This may not be your intent but your words speak to me in this manner. I think we all indulge in fantasy at one time or another but in the end that is not what we are searching for. A very thought provoking poem! blessings....marilyn2008-01-17 17:23:53
Reaches OutClaudia F. SepeHi Claudia....Welcome to TPL! This is such a melancholy poem that it is almost too painful to read. This little child reached out for love and comfort and received none....what could be more sad than that? Children learn by example whether it be a good example or not. Many adults are crippled by never receiving what they need and they retreat in order to keep out the pain. This probably happens more than what we know. I think your fourth strophe is the saddest. The adult receives love from a child and then it is taken away. I am wondering if the poet is saying the child died or just left home and now the adult grieves. You wrote this piece well....free verse that is easy to read and has a good flow. Well done Blessings....Marilyn2008-01-09 15:46:58
A True StoryKenneth R. PattonHi Ken....this is a wonderful story about your grandfather. Too bad that war did not end all wars. My husband fought in Korea but our boys were the wrong age when Nam came along. One of my grandsons was in Iraq for one year which I found very difficult to endure but he came home okay. Well I guess as okay as anyone can be that fights in a war. I like the way you told this story, it is interesting and very believable from the eyes of a child. Well done! marilyn2008-01-08 14:28:55
If my heart was one within itselfMark Andrew HislopHi Mark...I don't know how this poem sunk to the bottom of my list so quickly...but there it tis. This is a loely poem, one that is soft and gentle. You may have not been going for that type of response but that is the way it speaks to me. Prayer is such a personal thing unless you are saying it aloud in front of others. I am on the Church Vestery and we are often called upon to pray either opening or closing with a prayer. I am still not really comfortable with that but do it anyway. Silly, I know. "Ask of me not by halves to praise Your name"....this is such a beautiful line and is layered with meanings. An eloquent poem, dear sir.....brava! Hugs...Mazza p.s. Happy New Year2008-01-01 15:39:07
NeurosisMark Andrew HislopHi Mark...I have read this piece several times and I feel a sense of melancholy and pathos written inside the lines. Both in the written words and especially what lies between them, unwritten. Recently you shared with me that it takes a lot our of you to write a poem...I think this piece is an example of that struggle. Not that you struggle to write, you know how to do that, but the effort it takes to limn your inner feelings on paper. I understand that completely. Deep inside we have feelings we share with no one...unless we we feel compelled to write them down and then we make the choice to share or not to share. This is a dark poem but then I like Poe so it appeals to me and on some level perhaps I feel the same but am not talented enough to write them so eloquently. I wish you and your family the best. Merry Christmas. Big hugs....Mazza 2007-12-23 15:05:15
O lucky manMark Andrew HislopHi Mark....I care not what inspired you to write again, only that something or someone did! Your last line is full of hope and new discovery and it warms my lil ole heart. You have gone such a long time without writing but now you offer up this gem that insures me that your muse is alive and well. Please don't let your pen become cold and dry...I have missed you. Hugs...Mazza p.s....great poem, by the way!2007-12-20 17:00:11
When I DieMichael BirdHi Michael...when I saw the title of your poem I thought it would be a depressing write, however you surprised me with your beautiful words. Since my husband passed away the holidays are always the most difficult to endure. This poem eases some of the sadness I feel. Your words are soft, loving and evocative. I do believe it is possible to hold a loved one in your heart...you just need to listen and open your mind. This is lovely....brava...marilyn2007-12-17 15:50:44
UnmaskedMary J CoffmanHi Mary....what a lovely poem for your friend. You captured the stage perfomance perfectly. Your words and delivey are flawless and the flow is easy and well done. You have painted lovely images with your talented pen! Very well done...brava....marilyn2007-12-17 15:45:17
WhispersRene L BennettHi Rene....it might be an experimental poem but tis a fine one! It is full of well chosen words that are placed in just right manner to make this piece full of mystery and beauty. Sometimes when we reach down inside ourselves we find a poem, like this, that begs to be written. Just like they write themselves and then we step back and wonder where it came from. This is a beautiful, evocative and poignant write. You are using a new voice which is a good thing and you have done it well. Brava! blessings...marilyn2007-12-14 22:58:34
The AwakeningDebbie SpicerHi Debbie....this is such an uplifting poem. Your first strophe sets the tone and I was afraid the ending would be doleful and depressing. However, you turned it around and made this a poem about hope and surviving against desperate odds. Your ending strophe is alive with optimism and gives this reader a welcome sigh of relief. It is obvious to me that you have weathered a damaging storm but with time and deterimation you have conquered all your demons. I praise you for that. You have written this so well, making careful word choices that limn your emotions. It is like you are suddenly bathed in the discovery of a world without pain and are alive with this new revelation. A very up-beat poem that is well written and evocative! Brava....marilyn 2007-12-14 15:20:46
Guilt RiddenDellena RovitoHi D...I like your thoughts in this piece. You have chosen your words with care and said exactly what needs to be said. I agree with you but alas, tis no a perfect world. I sometimes wonder if mankind will ever get it right and learn to live in peace with one another. I am sure He wonders the same thing. An intillegent write and one I hope will be read by many. blessings....marilyn2007-12-14 15:10:25
Good VibrationsDellena RovitoHi D...What a great write this is! I love...I am tuned to the orchestra of my pulse...excellent. Such a melancholy flavor this poem has...however, your last line gives a ray of hope to the dolefullness. Beautiful...love it! Blessings....Marilyn2007-12-09 11:27:24
On White Winds of Winter...Mary J CoffmanHi Mary....this is a fabulous write! Every line is precise and chosen with care...evey time I read one of your poems I think it better than the last....in other words I am stunned by your talent! This is so beautiful even though it is doleful and heart rendering. As I read it...more than once...I thought 'this is my favorite line'...then I would read it again and say 'no this is my favorite.' So as you can see I am helpless to chose one line or phrase over the other. A standing ovation...you may take sever bows for this one! No wonder you are number one...brava. Blessings....Marilyn2007-12-09 11:24:00
Sunrise to SunsetThomas H. SmihulaHi Thomas...you have some breath taking imagery within the lines of this piece. The entire poem has such a melancholy sense to it. We never know from dawn to dusk what lies ahead so we do the best we can and ask for strength for the times that are the most difficult. I have read this several times and have tried to pick out a favorite line or phrase but I can't as they are all well written and beautiful. A wonderful write. Brava! Best...Marilyn2007-12-08 16:46:51
Beneath The MaskRene L BennettHi Rene....I felt like I had the breath knocked out of me when I read you last lines. You have done an excellent job with this poem. It has emotion, passion and mystery....good elements for any poem. This is side of your talent I haven't seen before and I like it. Very well done....brava.. Hugs....Marilyn2007-11-30 14:42:24
My Little Black BookThomas H. SmihulaHi Tom....I love this poem. I once wrote a poem called 'My old sock' and it held my memories. You have written this very well and I enjoyed it from the first word to the last! Marilyn2007-11-27 15:47:22
In the CavesThomas H. SmihulaHi Tom....I love to poke around in old caves. I think the most fun comes from ones own imagination as we try to obtain a vision of what the people, who lived there, were like. I imagine many wonderful stories have been told in those caves and you captured that in this poem. wonderful...with excellent imagery. Marilyn2007-11-27 15:42:55
RainThomas H. SmihulaHi Thomas....I really like this poem and have read it several times. It is soft and gentle just like a Spring rain....but more than that it has great imagery. If I had to pick a favorite line (and I'm glad I don't have to make that choice) it would be...'a transparent glaze making its way down the body'....lovely in every way. We can be anointed by its beauty if we just stop and drink in the wonders....well done... Marilyn '2007-11-26 15:08:11
When the Monkey Grinds the OrganJames C. HorakHi James....I have't heard from you in a long time. I trust you are fine and just busy. I have read this poem several times and find your last stanza is powerful and telling. What have we done to this precious prize we call earth? Seems to me we have done everyting we can do to kill it, along with the multitudes of people who don't agree with our way of living. So we come to the thankful end of the Bush era and keep praying there is someone who can pull us out of this mess. This is a thoughtful poem with a good rhyme scheme that makes it a pleasure to read....well done. Marilyn2007-11-26 15:02:32
Green Christmas PurseLola BlazeHi Lola....I have read this piece several times and find it to be a lovely write which is more prose than poetry, which is fine. You have created some good images that are pleasing to read. I do think you could tighten up the lines and not lose the beautiful message. Such as... With (the) hunter-green satin lining....by deleting the word 'the' it makes the line tighter Is a wish of what I would like in my stocking...you could say 'are wishes for my stocking' Hanging from the mantle above a cozy fire...you could say 'hanging above a cozy fire' ....everyone knows the stocking would be hanging from a mantle so you don't need to say that. these are just a few ideas that you can use or lose. You have a clever idea for this poem and with just a few adjustments you will have a wonderful poem! Write on.....Marilyn2007-11-25 21:12:40
Out Of SeasonDellena RovitoHi D....this is the most beautiful poem you have written! Every line is crafted with care and the imagery is excellent. The rose pulls back into itself Leaving behind, traces of existence:....these lines are exquisite and I must admit I wish I had written them. You have certainly captured the onset of Winter in such a poetic manner. The cycle of the seasons is always constant and something we can always rely on. But this lovely poem has made, what some might think a mundane event, magical. brava and bunches of red roses at your feet! Marilyn 2007-11-25 20:51:33
A DreamThomas H. SmihulaHi Tom...your writing has taken on a mystic that I find very charming. It is true that colors can dictate to us. Grey or black is never thought of as a happy color but yellow does. Red makes me think of passion and green and blue are peaceful colors. I read somewhere that people who dream in color are talented and optimistic people. They possess good imaginations. I have asked some if they dream in color and was surprised to find many do not because I always do. Not that I am any of the above things just because my color dreams say I am....but it would be nice if I were! Great poem! Marilyn2007-11-18 17:16:47
The QuestThomas H. SmihulaHi tom...I can't help but wonder who this native American lady is. I wonder if she is a part of your life or perhaps a beautiul dream..no matter the poem is lovely. The title and the ending tells me you have longed for her but in the end you conquered her. Hummm a mystery that will keep me trying to figure it out! Welldone... Marilyn2007-11-18 17:10:11
Simple MindedThomas H. SmihulaHi Tom....I am glad you posted this poem even if you wrote it a long time ago. It is lovely but more than that is is very thought provoking and evocative. Terse as far as the words and lines go but says mountains in what is between the lines. "Life is too complex" is a perfect ending for this profound piece...it left me thinking 'yes way to complex for humans'....do we ever know what life is all about? I think not. However, I believe poets see things differently than most and have the ability to express what they do know and see and experience. You are one of those poets....brava. Marilyn2007-11-17 15:31:21
Memories and SmilesRene L BennettHi Rene....a lovely and heart felt poem. Tis so easy to relate to your words....whithout our memories just think what a pale world it would be. I find this time of year especially difficult, just as you must. Soon we will have two more holidays under our belts! I'll try to smile if you will.... Blessings....Marilyn2007-11-16 15:47:54
Lad of SevenThomas H. SmihulaHi Tom...the ending of this piece stopped me cold! I never expected it and became instantly sad when I read the words. Of course I went back to the beginning and read the words again and became even more sad. I could feel how this boy, of seven, wanted so badly for his dad to come see him. I'm thinking the parents were divorced or seperated and how that must tear a little one apart, as they love both parents. Great poem with a twist at the end that is stunning. Well done. Marilyn2007-11-14 15:37:52
A FilioqueThomas Edward WrightHi Tom...I have read this poem several times since you posted it. It is so rich with rememberance and it gives this reader a peek at your life...beautifully written. I wonder how many siblings you have. I am an only child and always longed for a sister or brother. When I was married I wanted six children but stopped at three so none of them were lonely. one day I left for school and when I returned they were old and too well oiled for their own good, the brandy and the wine flowing like the wedding that never quite ended, or the bride ran out crying My heart was broken when I realized my parents were aging. Wonder why kids always think that won't happen? Probably the same reasons I have for not getting old. 'They' will drag me into old age kicking and screaming. Your writing skills and talent are paramount in this write...I am so glad you shared it with us. Any ideas how we can keep TPL afloat? Marilyn2007-11-12 15:54:01
Those That Kill Their OwnJames C. HorakHi JCH...You have certainly written what is in the minds of all of us. We at TPL are certainly facing death, are we not? Yes, Chris is killing his own as surely as if he were to stab our hearts with a knife. Death is never a pleasent thing to watch and yet we are. "For a coward deals the blow instead of nobly swift, so slow." A poetic statement that deals a blow of it's own. A well written metaphor that holds me in its sorrow. Marilyn2007-11-10 16:25:33
Just Another HalloweenMonica ONeillHi Moni....what a delightful poem this is! I remember tootsie rolls...are they still around? You have an excellent rhyme scheme that makes this piece even more fun to read. Good word choices and flow...well done and happy Halloweenie to you too! Blessings....Marilyn2007-10-23 15:40:43
TangleJames C. HorakHi James.....I have read and then returned to read several times in an attempt to get inside your head when you wrote this. To me it has a flavor of despair which I am unable to shake everytime I read the words. You seem to be trying to un-tangle the threads of your life but I don't know why. Let it suffice to say this is a very thought provoking piece written in a style that only you have mastered. Hope all is okay with you as you seem quiet of late. I remember a message you sent via Lora that said you are having trouble geting signed in on the forum. Have you tried setting up a new user name and password? I remember I had to do that myself, at one point. Marilyn2007-10-18 15:41:11
To Sign...Mary J CoffmanHi Mary....this is an exquisite poem from the first word to the last. The words are soft, sensual and evocative and urged me to go back and read it several times. Your talent is really showing in this one as your writing has taken on a life of its own. Just as if you get an idea, take up your pen, and let it do what it will....wonderful! Please walk to center stage and take a bow! Oh yes, be sure to pick up the roses while you are there! blessings....Marilyn2007-10-16 17:27:59
Meandering DreamsMary J CoffmanOh, Mary....this is a fabulous piece of writing!! It is very sensual and your last strophe is very sexy and leaves this reader breathless as she returns to the entire poem several times. I tried and tried to quote a favorite line or phrase but did not succeed. Your writing is so accomplished and I look forward to reading more and more poems from you pen. Red roses at your feet for this one! Please take a bow. Blessings....Marilyn2007-10-14 16:08:58
ReflectionsRene L BennettHi rene'....such a melancholy write and one I had to read more than once as the feeling of your words is so intense. When I was grieving I would often look in the mirror and wonder what happened to me...why did I look so sad even when I thought I wasn't and what had become of the real me? It took a great deal of time but finally I could recognize my real self again. To make things worse I was caring for my mother who had become someone I didn't even know and that constant turmoil gave me such stress. Perhaps I have told you that before! This is a good poem and one I can relate to with every written word....brava.. blessings....Marilyn2007-10-13 15:18:47
The Real MeRene L BennettHi Rene'....I like the form you used to write this poem. The short staccato delivery is very effective. It was easy to feel your emotions in this piece. Each line is important to the following lines...you use consistancy and some end rhymes to engage your readers and it works well. It is so true, even when people, friends or family say I know how you feel they never will be able to feel YOUR pain even if they endure a similar event. Your pain of loss is yours alone and will not be shared which, of course, means you and you alone are the one who will rise above the pain and begin to heal. A well written poem that limns the poet's dispair....well done. Blessings....Marilyn2007-10-09 16:50:03
My GoodbyeDeniMari Z.Hi Deni....this is such a soulful poem and it breaks my heart to read it. I am wondering what happened to your son. From what you have written about him I would guess he was a Fireman....so is my son. My heart just aches for you....why in the world should anyone have to endure this pain. We will never know the answer to that....on this earth anyway. You have written you pain into the words of this gut wrenching poem and done it very well. I have prayed for you and I hope it has helped some but only time can really do that totally. Keep writing....it helps. Blessings....Marilyn2007-10-02 16:27:20
Friday Night at the PubMichael BirdHi Michael....I can tell from the way this is written that you and your friends had a good time doing it. You have used such clear images that you have given a face to every person you wrote about. I could almost put my self in that bar! I think 'allright' is two words instead of one. Love the 'la la da dee dee da' you use to give the poem a melody....well done. Marilyn2007-10-02 16:19:07
Unpleasantries GaloreJames C. HorakHi JCH....I do hope you meant this to be funny because I have laughed every time I read it! You have a dry wit that never fails to amuse me. In fact you are gifted in that respect (as well as others) when it comes to crafting a poem. A comma does resemble sperm, doesn't it? Well done, my friend. Marilyn2007-10-02 16:01:48
Alone In A CrowdRene L BennettHi Rene'....this poem brings a tear to my eye. My husband died in October (I think I told you that) so this time of year I feel especially vunerable. Every word you have written is like a stab to the heart...mine is beginning to heal but I fear you still have a ways to go. Alone in a crowd may be a cliche but it is so apt here. You did an excellent job with this piece. I like the form you used....short lines that flow as liquid down the page. Punctuation is not necessary here. Very well done! Blessings....Marilyn2007-09-27 17:16:38
The soldiers guiltSonya stewartHi Sonyaa...it is always so nice to welcome a new member to TPL! This melancholy poem is well written and it speaks to me on every level. As my husband lay dying he said he would not go to heaven as he had committed murder. He fought in the Korean war and like the man in your poem, he held so much guilt. We talked about his feelings and I feel he was able to release that guilt before he died. You have a good entro line which grabs the reader and compells them to read on. A poet or writer has two chances to hook their readers and that is a good title and a good first line....I think you have done that here. You have made good word choices and the flow and structure of this piece is well done. I hope you stay awhile as I would like to read more of your work....well done. blessings....Marilyn2007-09-26 16:08:13
BeachedMary J CoffmanHi Mary...the prompt may have been 'gull-tracks' but to me it is about love making! It is very sensual and erotic! I love your word choices and the liquid flow of the lines. To me it is one of the most erotic poems I have read in a long time! Is it just me?? You are getting so good at showing your readers what you want them to see without really telling them to do so...a true gift. I find the form you used to enhance the words of this little gem, is working very well and a I can't even begin to think of it written into mundane strophes. Very well done....brava and buches of roses! Blessings....Marilyn2007-09-25 16:03:50
With MeRene L BennettHi Rene'...this is a beautiful, melancholy poem. It speaks of an undying love for a person who left this world all too soon. It is soft and sweet and the rhyming is spot on....musical and a pleasure to read. I like your last stanza as it sums up the emotions inside the lines. ..."somehow I knew you were there with me"...I have felt this...well done. Blessings...Marilyn2007-09-19 18:17:18
MirageMary J CoffmanHi Mary....a fantastic poem! I like the form you used as the words flow down the page with ease. Sometimes the long spaces between the words give me pause but not enough to take away from the wonderful words. This piece is very sensual and without your notes I would have thought you were speaking of yourself and a cruel lover! Very well done...brava.. Blessings...Marilyn2007-09-19 18:11:08
Seat Belts Do Save LivesClaire H. CurrierHi Claire...what a horrible and devastating accident! I am so glad your granddaughter is alive and on her way back to school. When our children leave the nest and we can't protect them is a very scary time. This poem is an amazing account of that accident. It is well written full of suspense from the first line to the last. The imagery is so clear I almost felt like I was watching it happen instead of reading about it. Blessings...Marilyn2007-09-13 12:21:13
The Departure of the Fishing Boats From JoppaKenneth R. PattonHi Ken...Your grandfather was an extrodinary poet and it would be my guess that he was an extrodinary man, as well. This poem speaks very well of his talent. It is musical with its lovely rhyme and excellent word choices. From what I have read, of his work, it has that old world feel that I love and try to copy in some of my own poems. His talent for that type of verse far surpasses mine but it never hurts to try! I wish he were alive so he could read the critiques he has received...but then maybe he knows anyway. Thanks for posting this. Marilyn 2007-09-12 22:36:22
Thought PushJames C. HorakHi James...the romantic part of your personality is showing! The comparing of Troy, Helen and a 'burlap man' is amazing. Waking up after being immersed in a dream (sensual or not) and finding you are still alone can be somewhat depressing. There are so many beautiful things one would like to share with the person of their dreams but once 'they' are gone that wish becomes like another loss. Having said all that...this poem is not depressing instead it is wistful and very well presented....well done, my friend. Marilyn2007-09-08 10:54:36
Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by marilyn terwillegerCritique Date

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