Julie Ann Ruengert's E-Mail Address: gruengert@earthlink.net
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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Julie Ann Ruengert has given on The Poetic Link.
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Displaying Critiques 1 to 8 out of 8 Total Critiques.| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Julie Ann Ruengert | Critique Date |
| Traffic Light | C Arrownut | I will try to critique your poem The angels sit atop the trees,--8 with a light in each hand,--6 flickering a wild red and green:--8 trafic lights of madness,--6 seen the happiest time of year.--8 The green departs,-4 or stops at red.-4 As eyes descend opon foliage,--8 prickly, course lit branches,--6 they see light bulbs and hanging elves--8 on artificial limbs.--6 while gazing down, down to the ground.--8 The green departs,-4 or stops at red.-4 Littered below are many treats--8 presents from paper green--6 maybe even from plastic red--8 The children will not know--6 the joyful sanity involved.--8 The green departs,-4 or stops at red.-4 Lights sparkle faster, green and red,--8 Tins wobble jump and dance,--6 paper and lids fly everywhere,--8 Real insanity starts:--6 covers the real meaning of it. The green departs,-4 or stops at red.-4 With this one pressure upon us,--8 the beauty of the lights,--6 will enchant us to search and shop.--8 Unaware of Gods eyes,6 the green departs and starts at red.8 This is what I got out of your verse. The numbers at the end of each sentence stands for the amount of sylables in each sentence--this is putting meter to a poem to make it flow better. Good poetry starts with thoughts put together in writing and you had a good thought that could be taken many ways. It is getting near Christmas and people will go insane with shopping, spending to much money, maxing out their credit cards, putting up the christmas lights and when the day comes to open gifts, paper will fly, tin can and lids will fly. This lasts a day and its over. The end of your verse was good. The holidays will come and some don't remember what it really stands for. I would continue to write. Sometimes when my thoughts don't come out real clear, I have to figure it out before I can put it into poetry. This verse started out with Christmas lights, ornaments and the tree and turned into green money and red for credit cards. This goes to show what you can do with your thoughts. Sometimes the meaning that you have for a poem isn't the same as the reader. I hope I helped and keep writing because this poetry site is a place that will help you put thoughts into poetry. | 2003-09-28 22:49:24 |
| Leaping Lizard | marilyn terwilleger | This is 5,7,5 haiku--cute, I like it The rushing lizard-------Lizard Loss hides in psychotic frenzy never to be found the leaping frogie-------Leap Frog jumps in psychotic frenzy lands in the same place grasshopper leaper-------Silent Grasshopper jumps in psychotic frenzy found dead in suitcase Thanks for letting me tinker with this haiku I think poetry styles are important to know It shows that you are a diciplined poet to make up this cute poem---Leaping Lizard Thanks again----Julie | 2003-09-23 06:56:56 |
| Strapped | Thomas H. Smihula | This is a poem written in a style I am unfamiliar with. It flows nicely and it describes one heck of a boat ride. There was visual and tactile imagination. You were in a furious sea, then it became calm so you could concentrate on your beautiful surroundings (isle of wonders) and it became a journey. Then the storm started again, much worse. Strapped to that pole being thrown into the sea and brought out. You were searching for life--maybe the storm was so bad that you were searching for some life form, a large bird in trouble from the effects of the storm. After a storm like that I would be totally drained---but you seem to love it despite the fact that it wore you out. You could say bound by the abyss instead of bounded. Then use a different word for bound in the last stanza ex--constrained. These are just some suggestions. If you are bound to a mast in a storm, there is probably is no excape from the abyss. Good imagination! | 2003-09-23 03:39:47 |
| Perfumery (Tanka) | carole j mennie | This must be a skunk because of the stripe and the odoriferous gift. Your Title describes it well. | 2003-09-22 03:23:29 |
| Blowin' da "Blues" otta da Horn! | Andrea M. Taylor | I like the rhythum of this rhyming poem. Looking deep into this poem you must be called Ma and Nana, but your real name is Auntie Mame or maybe it is someone you admire used in deep meditation. The part ( I seek her from within when I'm feeling tame) tells me that it is within you, a kind of peace that allows you to live without fame, but have fun. This could be talking about a musical instrument that you have fun playing. I'm wondering if you need a comma after ( She pops by, my mentor, just to keep me sane). If Auntie Mame is a real person, you must admire her. | 2003-09-22 02:51:17 |
| A Theory of Composition | C Arrownut | This one takes alot of thought. These are all things that someone who is bored, someone who draws and someone who writes asks themselves. I like the repetative Um de dum de dum. The science of thought, deep thinking. The power of thought and words that come to our mind when writing. We have to use visual imagination as well as writing and we also can suffer boredom when we have a mental block when writing. We have to be willing to wait for the thought to come. When the parasympathetic nervous system is in use, it automatically works without thinking about it. Our heart is controled by it and creativity is an automatic response and comes without thinking at times unless there is a mental block. Thanks for the challenge. | 2003-09-22 02:13:18 |
| Brushed By Death | Debbie Spicer | I could feel as I read the poem that you were in great pain and I liked how you compared yourself and situation to tapestry, first gold then fading as you were probably in and out of consciousness. My only suggestion to get this beautiful poem to flow better is to count your sylables for example the first four lines have a rhythum of 9, 10, 11, 12. The second four is 12, 11, 10, 11. You could make the 11 sylable line (Unsure as this time if I could take a breath) into 9 sylables by for example by saying, (Unsure at this time, of life or breath). The next four lines could be 9, 10, 11, 12 and the last four lines could be 12, 11, 10, 9. Ex. Within an arras, pictures displayed-9 A resonate of hope's dream still played-10 Unquenched and insatiable while in flight-11 Turning cloudy textile back facing the bright-12 Awoken to find my family all in there-12 I wondered why all of them were in a stare-11 They told me I brushed death just by a blink-10 Thank-you God for kin, friends and the link-9 Your poem would flow 9, 10, 11, 12---12, 11, 10, 9---9, 10, 11, 12---12, 11, 10, 9 I hoped this helped and I am glad prayers were answered and you got better. I had gallbladder surgery but it wasn't that bad because they got to it before infection set in. Also happy birthday and God Bless You. Friends, Julie | 2003-09-22 01:11:13 |
| Occupation,Revelation | Michael Bird | The first three lines have 8 sylables, seven sylables, five sylables--I will show you how using the same sylables rhythmically can make a poem flow better. As far as punctuation, there should be a space after the comma. There are other poets who could help you on the punctuation. I'm just going to help you with the rhythum. I'll do it in a way not to change what you are saying in your poem your poem goes Out on a night, hot on the town--8 sylables Running my hand up and down--7 sylables Right inside your gown--5 sylables Occupation--4 Revelation--4 I know you think your to good for me--9 I could love you for all the world to see--10 Passion, oh yeah!--4 Revelation--4 Occupation--4 Then the next three lines would be 8,7,5 like above, an example would be.. Walking on down the narrow street--8 A fair girl, I want to meet--7 To keep, oh so sweet--5 Occupation--4 Revelation--4 Is it passion?--4 Then the next two lines could follow 9,10 to keep the poem flowing, example... Pretty girls walking all over town--9 Dancing, dancing tippy toed on the ground--10 Oh, not again--4 Is it passion?--4 Or isn't it?--4 This is an example to keep the 3 four sylables lines like above Out on a night, hot on the town--8 Running my hand up and down--7 Passion, all around!--5 Revelation--4 Occupation--4 This is just an idea to make the poem flow--I hope it helped. You can use any number of sylables in a poem along with the rhymes to bring out beauty in a poem. I felt passion was your revelation and meeting girls was your occupation. | 2003-09-21 22:29:28 |
| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Julie Ann Ruengert | Critique Date |
Displaying Critiques 1 to 8 out of 8 Total Critiques.
If you would like to view all of Julie Ann Ruengert's Poetry just Click Here.