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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Dawn Parker has given on The Poetic Link.
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Displaying Critiques 1 to 5 out of 5 Total Critiques.| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Dawn Parker | Critique Date |
| Castles of the Sea | Donna L. Dean | Donna, I wondered why you posted this poem again after it was done in March? I looked for changes that you might have done but I didn't notice any differences. Since I didn't critique it then, I will now:-) This poem has wonderful imagery and works well with the free flow style. I am having a little trouble understanding the message after several reads, hopefully as I work through this critique I will understand better. To me it speaks from a voice of despair, one that is pessimistic about the nature of reality and doesn't trust the mind to create. The castles...constructed reality... are wiped away by the images of this sad gloomy state. Where the builder can once again create more unstable sand castles that are not permanent or strong and will be subject to the emotional "tide" again. Interesting poem, you are making me stretch to figure out the meaning and I like a challenge! Thanks for sharing! Dawn | 2003-09-29 16:49:23 |
| Life at "Bottoms Up Lounge" | Terrye Godown | Terrye, What an interesting poem you have crafted! I like how you did it in the voices of the strippers...a glimpse into that world. It is playful in a sense, with lines like "faux tan idols rule", "goddesses of saline", "no grocery store flowers", "do not consider us 'to have and to hold'". And yet it is sobering in many other respects, "those escaping chilly beds", "straddling cold, chrome poles", "we hide in our shrine", "counting sacrifices poked in our thongs", "driving home with the cruise on denial"...these all speak to the reality of this life. Women who subdue the soul for money and a possible shot at the spotlight. driving home with the “cruise” on denial, we contemplate the rights and wrongs (One suggestion...this second line contradicts the first line, maybe you could say "we ignor the rights and wrongs...or we don't contemplate the rights and wrongs) I have many times thought about the world's 'oldest profession' and have felt a tinge of pain for my fellow women who have chosen this path. Not quite understanding how they can suppress the emotions and pain that goes along with this type of life. Yet, we as a society place such high importance on the ultimate sexual body. It is fed to our consciousness via the media and images constantly. You leave me thinking with this poem, which is really wonderful! Thank you for sharing such a creative and interesting piece! Dawn | 2003-09-29 16:07:57 |
| Straight At It | Rick Barnes | Rick, What an inspiring poem...the message "Straight At It" is beautiful! Could be as commercial as Nike's "Just Do It"! I enjoyed how you cleverly crafted this piece. The way you rearranged the message "simply go" three different ways was very effective. You impart such a "knowing" with your words...that there is no need to aim, the power is in just beginning. There is a subtle truth disclosed with "your vista was chosen a long time ago" that is extremely empowering to the reader and inspires trust and a letting go of the worry and possibly regret from past choices. How right and wrong are simply perspectives and the judgement of these originates from within. That there is a destiny and purpose to it all... I just loved where this poem took me... the imagery was superb! I especially liked "All the voices, of your past choices, call out to you from where you are" as if those aspects of your Self are in a place of elevated understanding and are fully supporting the smaller You in moving forward. I envisioned them as being a sort of cheering section, changed by the experiencial growth of the past. Wonderful...simply wonderful! I really enjoyed this, thank you for sharing! My best, Dawn Parker | 2003-09-22 13:52:34 |
| Leaping Lizard | marilyn terwilleger | Marilyn, Well you said to tinker...I will just bounce around some ideas as they flow. I notice you use "the" twice and "in" twice in this poem. With a haiku, each syllable is so precious to make a statement that using these fillers seems to me, to be letting go the opportunity to say more. Something like: jade leaping lizard (I thought using a color adjective would enhance imagery) jumps with psychotic frenzy lands at the same place It is a deep idea and makes a strong point...maybe using the color adjective gray instead of green, if you were adding the depth of observing human nature when in the trench of identifying with the reptilian 'brain'. How the fear, survival stimulus can trigger movement... but no forward action. I like the message if I am understanding your intent correctly. Best wishes! Dawn Parker | 2003-09-22 13:19:47 |
| Splendor in the Pages of a Book | Joanne M Uppendahl | Joanne, I can feel the deep gratitude you have for your grandfather and his gift in this poem! Reading this poem gave me chills...the love of both words and your relationship to him is so evident. My great grandmother inspired me as a young girl with words but in a different way...she was a crossword puzzle guru and she would let me pick any word in the dictionary and challenge her with the meaning and spelling...she NEVER missed one! We would sit at the table sipping hot tea with milk and honey and nibbling on crisp gingersnaps...oh the memory you triggered! It was so fun exploring that book trying to stump her. My love of words grew from this very enchanting relationship. Just a simple book selection, black in color, paper bound-- ample leaves for my reflection, graceful symbol of our bond. Grandpa’s gift to me that day -- a dictionary of my own -- began in an engaging way to furnish keys for gates unknown (Yes, a dictionary is so ordinary looking but my... where it can take us! You bring my awareness to the power that such a mundane looking book can deliver...unlocking doors to enable expression of the deepest part of ourselves. We who embrace words are fortunate in that we can express a depth that has been experienced or perceived in a way that those without this tendency are left holding it inside or just expressing a shallow breath of the emotion. I especially liked "Selection-reflection" they rolled off my tongue as I spoke the poem outloud!) Its pages took me further than all domains I’d known before; they offered up far-reaching spans, and diverse meanings to explore. Origins of words we speak, hallowed tools with which we toil, varied Hebrew, Latin, Greek; each one born in different soil. (Many times I have sat down with a dictionary and just explored the pages for interesting words and their roots. You make the reader conscious of just how diverse and rich our language really is. Your rhyming is extraordinary and delighful! I am reminded how we so often toil to say something just the right way (this critique included:-)) Complexity of resonance, words connect from soul to soul. Written thoughts have permanence; terms can break or make one whole. With the simple gift he bought, he gave me much more than a book-- love of language can be caught, and this inoculation took! I loved the "caught-inoculation" word play and "resonance-permanence" rhyme was excellent! The incredible might of the pen is reinforced through this stanza and reminds the reader of the integrity necessary in using them. This poem was so well crafted and such a pleasure for me to read. I can not see anything that needs changed or enhanced...from beginning to end the words captured me and propelled me to read further. You are a gifted poet, thank you for sharing this Joanne! My Best, Dawn Parker | 2003-09-21 14:31:16 |
| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Dawn Parker | Critique Date |
Displaying Critiques 1 to 5 out of 5 Total Critiques.
If you would like to view all of Dawn Parker's Poetry just Click Here.