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Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!Displaying Critiques 1 to 50 out of 89 Total Critiques.
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Mary J Coffman||Critique Date|
|Geriatric Parade||Lora Silvey||OMG!!! I love it! I puffed up as I read...lol Each line made my smile bigger, and saucier. Each stanza enforced my resolve. I'm sure that was deliberate, and so well voiced. I wasted so much of my life trying to 'conform' to what others expected of me. No more. This resolve is evident here, and yet it still commands a smile and a gentled emotional connection, and yes; even a dare. The last line is simply hilarious...I'm at 'Shady Pines!" lol It's been so long, girlfriend, but I have picked up my pen again. I am still deathly afraid of actually speaking with anyone - I cannot control the anger anymore. I spit venom too freely these days. I found this to be uplifting in it's rebellion of conformity!! I've missed ya sweetie! ~ Mary||2012-06-13 18:42:55|
|Soul Sick in Albuquerque on a Bus Lay-over||James C. Horak||James; I can 'identify,' and I wouldn't change a word. It's ironic, perhaps, that similar words describe such closely related feelings in both of us. Existence is futile without purpose, truth, or trust. Love "Soul Sick." Almost immediately, I understood the 'ache' in your words. I have not written anything in so long, simply because it seemed no one could not/would not identify. You start with such beautiful imagery, and appeal to all the senses. "Bottled in demise" (love it, love it, LOVE IT!)says so much by itself, but is starkly amplified by being completely denied the simple right to 'exist.' Missed you, my friend. Mary||2012-06-13 18:31:18|
|Fairytale Hell||DeniMari Z.||Delightful. Contemplative. Amusing. So much in this!! I adore how you've integrated the "nursery rhyme" characteristic by ending stanzas with couplets. Very creative, and gives that "rhyme" flavor to this piece so very nicely! So many of the early ones were rapt in violence, making one wonder why they chose to read these to children just before sleeping...lol This was included in this, as well, with perfect subtlety. The visual aspects of this are wonderful, as well. Rich, sharp images touch our memories and take us back. I especially love how you chose to end this. The last thing we "hear" is that rhythmic rocking and the soft click of a door closing. Wonderful read!! I enjoyed this very much.||2011-02-03 14:27:16|
|I Lied||Medard Louis Lefevre Jr.||So very true, my friend!! What a thoughtful and caring thing to write & post! This speaks of a warm heart and generous soul. Absolutely LOVE the beginning lines!! Many blessings to you, Medard!! ....Mary||2011-02-03 14:19:15|
|Keeper of Mem’ries||Lora Silvey||Lora; So sorry it took me so long....lol! The "longing" in this beautiful piece is so very evident throughout in words like "sullen," "mem'ries (love the short-play on these words), "keeper".... The first stanza "sets" the mood of this nicely, but stanza 2 really drives it home. I can so relate to the personal side of this, and want to share rainbows and stars with you, as well. The fourth stanza really stuck with me. So often we rely on those memories to "sooth and sustain," keeping them in the locked rooms of our hearts. This pulled at my soul, and left me sighing. Well done, my dear friend!! So very good to read you again!! Always here for you; Mary (((hug)))||2011-02-03 14:15:04|
|MOON GODDESS||David Keesey||David; The imagery in this is outstanding! Such rich visions flood the mind as I read. I'm a big "fan" of the goddess, myself. The rhyme is smooth, not forced. The only thing that literally "tripped" me was the change in meter in line 6. You've strayed from a smooth pentameter, and I found myself "stumbling" a bit there. Otherwise a most enjoyable and visual read!! Especially love "threaded alabaster waves," very refreshing!! Blessings; Mary||2011-02-03 14:05:26|
|Seasoned||Dellena Rovito||Oh my....Girl, this actually brought back memories instantly...seriously...instantly! Within seconds of reading the first stanza, I was transported back to the smells and taste of the air in my grandmother's Italian home! You words assaulted memory and senses in a most delightful way! Love it, my friend....very effective & enjoyable!! Always, Mary||2011-02-02 22:54:20|
|Please Read:||James C. Horak||*hugs* Like the idea.||2009-12-22 19:25:44|
|Whispers of Truth||James C. Horak||James, The visuals in this are abundant and vivid. From the cottonwoods in stanza one, the "puffs and fluffs" (nice assonance here)of snow, to the long-empty room. Love the "nebula" metaphor used to depict the cobwebs...wonderful imagery.Your language, as is usual for you, is stellar. This poem seems to sing of contemplation to me....deep thought and reminiscing. The last line sums it so nicely, saying that it must have been some time ago since you have frequented that room. Even though short, there are so many layers here...so much woven into these lines. I love when a poem evokes deep thought. You have not disappointed this reader. Thanks for sharing, James. I so enjoy your work, and have missed reading it. Best Always, Mary||2007-12-09 18:13:50|
|The Gateway||Monica ONeill||Monica... This is so heartfelt, sad, and full of longing. I love how you changed perspectives in the middle of this, offering yet another point of view. Nicely done. Your language is wonderful, as is the abundance of great imagery. This reader could almost "see" that bench, and feel the worn smooth edges, smell the salty air, and hear the waves. But, the last stanza really stuck out to me. Like the way it ends the poem in contemplation. An end, yet not. Very nicely done, my friend. Thanks for sharing what feels to be a very personal write. I enjoyed this one! Best Always, Mary||2007-12-09 18:06:18|
|Good Vibrations||Dellena Rovito||Dellena... Such depth of feeling, and emotion woven into these lines! I adore the musical metaphor you use hear. You have taken what is often a much over-used metaphor, and individualized it into a fresh and unique perspective. The last two lines really sum it well, but i especially like line #3 "I am tuned to the orchestra of my pulse." Wonderful!! Thanks so much for sharing, my friend. I enjoyed this work very much! Best Always, Mary||2007-12-08 15:22:14|
|Heaven's Moon||marilyn terwilleger||Marilyn... This is stunning! All the beautiful imagery in this, along with some stellar language. The meter is wonderful, (a perfect iambic tetrameter), as is the rhyme scheme. The first stanza sets both the tone and the mood with perfection. (should "'" follow angels???)or is it me?? LOL! After reading this, I felt such a peace within myself! I can't even pick a favorite line or passage, without copy/pasting the entirety. Beautifully done, my friend. Thanks so much for sharing this one, I so enjoyed the read! My Best Always, Mary||2007-12-08 15:17:32|
|Reality||Rene L Bennett||Rene... Again, you draw tears from my eyes. So full of emotion...sadness...longing...frustration. I am so sorry for your sadness, my friend. This write just tears at the soul. LOVE your opening 2 lines..."walking in shadows fate follows me...." What a great start, and it truly sets the "mood" for this emotional write with perfection. Again, I shall keep you in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, in the high hopes you escape the dark very soon. Thanks for sharing your soul with us. You are never alone here. Regards, Mary||2007-10-02 17:13:36|
|Alone In A Crowd||Rene L Bennett||Rene... My friend, this screams with sadness and longing. It reaches out and grabs at my heart, as I can so relate to your words. This is packed with intense emotion and fear. Every line drips with it. So much feeling presented here, and of such a personal nature. The poet "exposed." Know that as long as you are writing it out, you are healing. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, my friend, so that you may be delivered from this darkness soon. Thanks for sharing this most personal work with us. I know it must have been a difficult one to pen, indeed. My best always, Mary||2007-10-02 16:39:24|
|Unpleasantries Galore||James C. Horak||OMG! James!!! The first lines had me laughing so very hard, my friend *GRIN* This is absolutely precious!! I love it! ...still snickering... "looking all that much like sperm" James. I will never look at a comma again without thinking of this wonderfully whimsical write! Simply wonderful. my friend. Thanks so much for the chuckle, the smile, (yeppers...look at all those little "worm things" there...LOL!) and the honor of your "funny-side"! I adore this!! Splendid simplicity!! On my list! Best Always, Mary||2007-10-02 16:34:28|
|Triumph||Kenneth R. Patton||Kenneth, This is so heartfelt, my friend. This really touched me deeply. It portrays, so well, how we tend to judge before we get to know someone. Appearance is most always somewhat of a facade....a pale reflection of who we really are "inside." It is simply how we "wish" to project ourselves to others. This is so very well depicted here in these well penned words. A lot of good visuals here, too. "....He looked up shiny-eyed and smiled...." I especially loved these lines. I could see the reddened teary/glassy eyes so clearly in my mind...I adore how you turned it around into triumph at the end, as well. It leaves a "good taste" in the readers mind, ending on such a positive and accepting note. Greta title, as well. Thanks for sharing this wonderful work with us. I so enjoyed reading this. Always, Mary||2007-10-02 16:29:43|
|E. B.||James C. Horak||James, What an interesting tale you tell here. Of all things....pennies. Those things some consider to be useless, a treasure to Eric. How simple a thing to please someone... Love the lines "his bacon crispy, his pennies crispy...clean...." A wonderful analogy! It helps to drive home the idea that this seems to be all this person seems to do....all day long, day in - day out. And, that last line..."For Eric is no Miser." Indeed, he is not. He has simply found a simple treasure to provide satisfaction and worth. Yeah Eric! It is, indeed, a reversal of potlatch. Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale. It has made me step back and really think. How complicated we sometimes make our lives. Though this may not have been your intent when writing this, it has provided a certain depth of thought! :) My Best Always, Mary||2007-09-21 17:38:42|
|My Goodbye||DeniMari Z.||DeniMari...This is just heart wrenching, my friend. Your words carry so much pain and emotion. So much for one soul to bear, this message is evident in this painful poem. The word "No" emphasizing that throughout this piece. ||2007-09-17 21:03:22|
|Her Beauty Caused Me To Blush||Paul H. Roefs||Paul....what a beautiful tapestry of words you have woven here to honor femininity. I adore happy endings, too. This has so much affection and adoration interlaced in your sentences. Such a soft and tender write. Ah...the joys of a child, as well. Just one misspell ~ warm instead of warmth may read better. Though it was not a detraction from this lovely write! Thank you, Paul, for touching my heart with this poem. She is a lucky woman, indeed. Thanks for sharing, my friend. Well Done! :) My Best Always, Mary||2007-09-16 17:31:17|
|Seat Belts Do Save Lives||Claire H. Currier||Claire, this one really hits home for me. Having been in an extremely bad accident myself last year (August 06)that almost claimed my life, I can so relate to this heartfelt poem. I have to admit, it was hard for me to read it the first few times, as it brought back all the terrors of my experience. But after re-reading several times, I can appreciate what it must have taken for you to write this. Your words very vividly "paint" that horrific picture in our minds. The emotion in this is also very evident. I am so thankful she survived, and is doing well enough to ask you to repost this. My heart goes out to you both. I shall keep you both, and all the other children's safety, in my prayers. Thank you for this stark reminder of how fleeting life can be, lest we not pay greater attention to the consequences of our actions. Thanks for sharing, Claire. My Best Always, Mary||2007-09-12 20:32:31|
|The Beauty of Dreams||Paul H. Roefs||Paul...This is just beautiful! An abundance of vivid imagery makes this such a pleasure to read, as does a wonderful rhyme scheme, and cadence. It flows right along, as if we were being swept up into the dream right along with you. "....stars are born in silent screams...." LOVE this line! The write, in its entirety, evokes such depth of thought... Yes, what would we be if not for dreams? It is a freedom not to be taken lightly, lest we become starved of their beauty in our lives. Well done, poet! Thank for this much needed respite, and the journey into the realm of dreams this morning. I so enjoyed this! Best Always, Mary||2007-09-11 13:46:45|
|Winds of Change||Michael Bird||Michael...What a wonderful analogy, and so perfectly penned! Elegant in all its simplicity. No unneeded jargon to clutter the intense thought this provokes. Such a depth of meaning in these few well chosen words. The last 4 lines carry such impact, driving the point of this directly home in the reader's mind. Thanks for sharing this gem with us, my friend. I so enjoyed the read! Always, Mary||2007-09-10 20:07:02|
|A Flower and Music Festival||marilyn terwilleger||Simply glorious in all it's colorful imagery, Marilyn! I felt as though I were in your garden watching this splendid scene unfurl. "....verdant trees are bent inside the breeze, breathless music speaks in mellow-tones..." I love these lines. So perfectly penned. I could feel the breeze, as well as listening to it wisping through the branches... Ahhhhhhh....beautiful! Thanks for sharing this poetic garden with us, Marilyn. It was a most enjoyable respite! Brava! Always, Mary||2007-09-10 19:03:25|
|Death||Rene L Bennett||Rene' This is heart wrenching, my friend. It tears at the soul of the reader with clawed fingers! Your words are strong, poignant, and well chosen. It overflows with raw emotion...anger, frustration, sadness, loss....it's all there, wrapped in words for us to bear. My heart reaches out to you, my friend. No one should have to bear this burden alone. Thanks for sharing and letting us take some of that "weight" from your shoulders. Brava! Always, Mary||2007-09-10 18:58:33|
|Thought Push||James C. Horak||James...this is beautiful! I wish I felt qualified to give a more thorough critique. This abounds with longing, passion, and vivid imagery. One can 'feel' every line penetrating the mind, and reaching right for the soul of the reader. The distinction between dream and waking is subtle, yet confirmed in the line "...to part dream and me..." This left me with a long sigh at the end, as well. Such tender sentiment... Masterfully penned, James, like only you can do. KUDOS! Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece! Always, Mary||2007-09-10 18:54:18|
|Splitting Atoms||Ellen K Lewis||Ellen, this is wonderful! It just carries you with it as it moves across the page. Love the ending, as well. Lest we miss the "rapture," indeed! I also like how you used the word "honed" in the first stanza. A fresh approach to what could have been considered cliche'. Well penned! Thanks for sharing, my friend. I enjoyed this read very much! Warmest, Mary||2007-02-05 18:17:53|
|From Mom and To Mom||Ellen K Lewis||Ellen, This has touched me in such a way... you can't imagine. I read and re-read this through tears of my own. Truly heartfelt. Certainly penned from ink drawn from a longing heart. I, too, miss my mother very much and was there when she passed. She looked at me, crinkled up her nose, smiled and winked, and she was gone. This has so touched my very soul, Ellen. So much raw emotion, and love in these lines. Thanks for sharing such a personal write with us. I'm glad to have read this one this morning. It brought back many wonderful memories, we so often "push back" so as not to feel the pain. Sometimes we forget just how wonderful they were. Thanks for the reminder, my friend. Warmly, Mary||2007-01-27 08:45:24|
|Flying To Florida||Teresa Green||Theresa, This is so beautifully penned. "Butterflying as we swiftly lift...." Love that line! So many times descriptions of a "take-off" can be so cliche'. You've done well with this line. A perfect start, giving the whole poem a sense of softness and beauty right from the start. "...from concrete to cotton...." the subtle alliteration here is great with the hard "c" sounds. The metaphor is wonderful, as well. I can't pick any favorite lines...there are so many that jump out at you. The imagery in this is simply stunning, creating such beautiful pictures in the mind as we read. What beautiful thoughts and images you bestow upon your mother. She is, no doubt, shedding a joyful tear right now for what you have penned in her honor. I miss my mother, as well, and can so relate to what you have said with this piece. Beautifully done! I enjoyed this very much. Thanks for sharing such a personal poem with us.||2007-01-27 08:37:58|
|Marl and Blood||marilyn terwilleger||Marilyn, The verbiage and figurative language in this is superb! So many well-turned lines in here, couldn't pick out any single favs. If I did, I'd be copy/pasting the whole thing! Despite the slightly uneven meter, this reads so well, and flows so nicely. Words like "skulking," "feint," "ebon," "marl," etc... give this such an ominous "air." Love your darker side, my friend! Well done! Thanks for sharing this gem with us, Marilyn. I thoroughly enjoyed this offering. Warm Regards, Mary||2007-01-27 08:26:42|
|When Love Says Goodbye||Deborah L Bird||Deborah, Short, succinct, and filled with raw emotion. Eloquent, in all its simplicity. This poem begs understanding and empathy. I have often felt that punctuation can actually disrupt the flow of some poetry at times. In this case, it adds to the sense of urgency, and the feeling of a constant onslaught of feeling. I like the two word lines...no unneeded jargon. Right to the point. Beautifully penned despite the doleful content. Thanks for sharing what seems to be a most "personal" write. Well done! Warmest regards, Mary||2007-01-15 20:26:05|
|The Devil Writes Poetry||Sharon J Eisenmann||Sharon First, let me say, I LOVE the title! I found it very intriguing, and a strong draw to come see just what was contained within the body of this poem. Then, the first word..."exploding..." gives it such a jump start. It catapults the reader right into it. Love the comparison to Friday Night Smackdown, too. *grin* Just in the first lines, you've set such a vivid scene. The verbiage and figurative language throughout this is excellent. The descriptions vivid, complete, and clear. My favorite lines, though, have to be the last..."to discern the inherent difference between a beak and pug...." Left me chuckling big time! Thanks for sharing this wonderful write, my friend. I very much enjoyed it! Warmest regards, Mary||2007-01-15 17:15:26|
|Barren||marilyn terwilleger||Marilyn, Methinks your missing muse was merely disguised! This is wonderful in all its exceptional figurative language and imagery. Air the color of midnight befits my mood of black .....love the comparison (and the metaphor) Tree leaves are limp so I won’t speak nor write of them .....but, my dear, you have! and so eloquently. This stanza stands out for me as well... My notions dry as bones ...again, LOVE the simile/metaphor muse, once my friend now turns on me robbing my sapient words ...."sapient" Hmmmmmmm... ...what a fresh and brilliant way to say that one seems to have lost insight/wisdom. I need rest, to loll alone shall I then remain barren? ..."barren is the perfect word here Will thin rain fall and feed my wordless wilderness? ..."thin rain fall"...Outstanding! The alliteration of "wordless wilderness" is perfection, as well, and an excellent example of simile (once again) The verbiage throughout this piece of word art is not only well chosen to deliver the intended message, but also the presentation is very effective. Each verse leading from one thought to the next ever so smoothly. Seems your muse snuck up on you and declared itself "Heard!" I love this!! Warmest regards, Mary||2007-01-15 16:53:37|
|Diligence||James C. Horak||James, I love the softness, and honesty of this beautiful write. So much said with so few well chosen words! Both the presentation, and the cadence, make this poem almost "song-like," as you probably intended. Therefore, to that I say "Success!" Despite the slightly uneven meter, this flows ever so smoothly off the tongue (okay...so I read aloud!). Love how you separated the last two lines, as well. Never a truer statement made...to each their own. Love the AaBb rhyme scheme (none of it seeming forced at all), and how you slipped in that third line, in the second verse, without so much as a "trip." Kudos, James. Short, and succinct, with a wonderful message within. Goes on my list! Thanks for sharing this wonderful work! Always, Mary||2007-01-14 15:52:52|
|Woe To the Forgotten Poets!||Ellen K Lewis||Ellen, This is wonderful! What a refreshing new view, of a subject we can all relate to, you present us with here. Yet, one cannot help but feel the "woe" withing your lines. Even a little frustration sneaks through, as well. Great title, by-the-way. Aptly stated for the body of this beauty! "....but I am stuck in no-man's-mind ....Love "no-man's-mind! Great play on words. There is a truth yet for poet to find ...wisdom to be reknown....." ...One can relate to the constant strive for this, as any writer would. Well said, indeed. "...Simply stated; I have debated...." Fantastic internal rhyme here :) Love it! Your last verse is outstanding. I wondered just a bit whether "Tribes and scribes alike" should be on one line...but after careful consideration - The way you have it broken is perfect. The pause created by the line break is wonderful there! Thanks so much for this excellent "personal" offering, Ellen. I so enjoyed reading this! One I think that anyone serious about their writing can relate to at one time or another. Brava. Warmest regards, Mary||2007-01-14 14:21:06|
|Into The Woods||Dellena Rovito||Dellena, This is stunning in all it's vivid and wonderful imagery. I felt as though I were there in the sanctuary of the woods beside you. Smelling th air, taking in all that incredible beauty, listening to it speak to my soul... "...one decreasing limb atop the other..." LOVE how you worded this! It was as if I were laying on my back on the forest floor looking up at the sky through the branches of the trees. "Into the fragrant soil and trees coned and gowned in green's emeralds, golden browns, hides diversity, equally valued. Harmony exists with difference......." This entire stanza wraps itself around me like a warm blanket full of the forest colors. One could almost "smell" the damp rich soil under our feet... Wonderful! And, yes...the harmony of the ecosystem itself. All the differences that make up the "whole." Well said! There certainly IS "tranquility amidst the trees," my friend. I have enjoyed this very setting many times, and have also found it both ever-inspiring and healing. Thank you for this splendid respit this morning, Dellena. I SO enjoyed this one in all it's elegant granduer, and soothing qualities. Warmest, Mary||2007-01-13 08:40:36|
|WASP||James C. Horak||James, Touchee'!! (did I spell that right? LOL!) You wield a powerful pen, my friend. This speaks such truth! The opening line carries such a punch with it, and starts this poignant piece with such honesty. "...repeating the "stigma" (excellent word choice by-the-way) of being white...." Love this line, so revealing in itself. You've spoken a mouthful with this one, James. But, your last line, perhaps, is the most powerful of all. The words "forgive yourself" speaks volumes, regardless of the words to follow. "Deny your destiny no more...." Bravo, James! Enjoyed reading this one!! Warmest regards, Mary||2007-01-12 09:06:41|
|In The Storm||marilyn terwilleger||Marilyn, This is magnificent! I love everything about this....the excellent use of figurative language and verbiasge, the imagery, the depth of thought, and the lesson at the end! Outstanding! Your beginning sets the scene so very well..."...a darkened hill beside an icy stream..." One can almost feel the dark cutting cold here. Then, "...dreams hover like bony birds...." Brilliant use of metaphor here. I love it! Wish I'd thought of that one!! This has to be my favoritem though... "The tattersoll silence ....(Loave "tattersoll" here...brilliant word choice) will listen to the sounds of grief you wear like capes of calamity and pain...." Goodness, girl, this is just so very telling, and sometimes sp true. Love the metaphor usage all thropugh this wonderful write! But, the last lines really speak volumes! "....be free from dark imagined shame, and alive in yout own audacity...." Wham! You said it!! Love the word "audacity" here. Really gives it that extra added punch. This goes on my list, to be sure! I love it, Marilyn!! A dozen roses at your feet! Warmest, Mary||2007-01-12 08:58:43|
|The Chenille Bear||Dellena Rovito||Dellena... This is precious! To think something so moving and full of warmth can be penned from such a simple thing as an old childhood toy. Your opening verse sets this mood so nicely. "...pale dusty chenille bear...." In this one sentence, you've told us it;s age, how long it's been since it's been played with, how soft the toy is, and what it is. WONDERFUL! So few well chosen words carry so much imagery and reveal so very much. The subtle rhyme scheme is wonderful, and the flow smooth. All in all, this is a very pleasurable read. I enjoyed this so very much! *grins* Here I go .... lost in memories of my own childhood! Thanks for that, Dellena. What a wonderful start to my morning to read the jewel! Brava!! Warmest, Mary||2007-01-12 08:49:52|
|Come Back Arnie||arnie s WACHMAN||Arnie, This is so powerful, and yet so enlightening. I say that because of the last lines you've penned here..."I guess I have another chance, to do good or what?....I don't know yet...." Yes, what does it all mean?! These questions evoke a considerable amount of deep thought and true soul-searching, to be sure. Love how you singled out the word "black," as well. Extremely effective here. "No bright lights...." Hmmmmm....more deep thought here. For such a short poem, I found it to be very revealing. If this is about you, let me say that I'm glad you are still here with us, and hope you recover fully quickly. I shall light a candle for you, Arnie! You're in my prayers.Thanks for this offering, well penned indeed. Warmest regaRDS, Mary||2007-01-12 08:44:24|
|My Father's Funeral||Nancy Ann Hemsworth||Nancy, This is heartwrenching, and packed full of raw emotion. One can actually "sense" the sadness and confusion the "child" is feeling in this poignant write. I especially liked the term "broken child" as it depicts not only the child's sadness, but also the psyche, and the turmoil both must be in. Also, the constant retreat into memories makes this even more effective, and thus leads into the "double identity" feelings you speak of. But, the last line, I belive, has the most devastating impact. With all the raw emotion, confusion, and bouncing back and forth btween the "then and now" of the situation....still the "child" has a hard grasping the concept of this kind of loss. Beautifully, and powerfully penned. Nancy! Brava!! Regards, Mary||2007-01-12 08:36:12|
|Lost Is To Found||DeniMari Z.||DeniMari, How painfully beautiful this is, my friend. Filled with such stark truths, and honest raw emotions. Leaving is, indeed, just another fresh start. Whether it be leaving a relationship, or leaving this life behind. Love the depth of thought this short but succinct and poignant poem evokes. Since the accident, I have "reevaluated" so much in my life. This one really hit home for me, DeniMari. So very well stated, and very well done. No unneeded jargon, just the honest truth. Brava! Warmest, Mary||2007-01-12 08:18:11|
|Ah, Such Memories||Erzahl Leo M. Espino||Erzahl... For suc a short poem, this is astounding in both it's veriage and imagery. Written with such depth, as well. I love poems that evoke deep thought, and this did just that. I can't even pick a favorite passage, as it's grand in it's entirity! But, I simply adore the last line. It seems to "grin" at you as I read. What a wonderful wrap to this beautiful write. Your right! Your back with a vengence!! Bravo! Warmest, Mary||2007-01-11 08:53:58|
|Tigers & Camels & Zebra's-oh my!||Ellen K Lewis||Ellen, Wow! I felt like I was in Oz with you, my friend. Such a mixture of animal life...sights never to be seen in 'real life' together at all. What an excellent tale of whimsy and amusement! A delightful and pleasing break from the sometimes-starkness of everyday life! I especailly love the last lines, as I could actually relate to that having a horse and living here in Colorado. Thanks for the respit, my friend. I so enjoyed this offering! What an imagination you must have!! *smile* Warmest regards, Mary||2007-01-11 08:49:31|
|The Girl On the Bridge||Ellen K Lewis||Ellen, This heartwrenching write is wrought with both sadness and despair, yet so expertly expressed. It goes right to the readers heart, making us 'feel' every raw emotion you enclose within these painful lines. You write so we can 'see' the whole scene unfolding before our own eyes...as if we were actually there. My heart ached for them as I read, and tears welled in my own eyes. Alcohol destroys lives. I have lost loved ones to it's ill effects in the past, and I can honestly say, from first-hand experience, those scars never heal. They simply fade to resurface every now and then reminding us of what we've lost and why. The "added fiction" at the end is very approprite, and well devised. Thanks for sharing this, and reminding me once again why I no longer drink. Brava! Sincerely, Mary||2007-01-10 10:53:35|
|Grandness||James C. Horak||Wow, James, This is packed with such stark truths. Poignant, and honest, this write stabs at the very heart and psyche of the reader. Love the beginning lines...seems so much of whats offered on TV or movies these days is both trivial, and boring. Insults to our intelligence. I adore the powerful ending, though! So very well said...."like blown newspaper to a bench in a storm..." Brilliant! Thanks so much for sharing. Goes on my list, to be sure. Warmest regards, Mary||2007-01-10 10:45:03|
|Shades Of Tiffany||Dellena Rovito||Dellena... This is absolutely stunning in all it's colorful imagery. Who would have thought such a beautiful rendering could come from such a simple every object as a lamp?! (Should there be a comma after "replendent?") Such a trivial thing that takes nothing away from the granduer of the scene you present to us! I especially love how you ended this..."fresh perception and moments that require revelation...." stated so very eloquently! The lines breaks, perfect leads into the ensuing stanzas. Masterfully penned, indeed. Brava, Claire!! Warmly, Mary||2007-01-10 10:38:36|
|Young Man on the Ropes||James C. Horak||James, Despite the fact that I usually don't feel qualified to comment on your wonderful and very accomplished work, I found this delightfully witty! Ahhhhh, through the eyes of the child... And, the constant "whys?" You have captured so much in this little, but well presented poem. I love how you break your lines, as well. This adds to the over-all effect with perfection. Bravo, James! I love it! Sincerely, Mary||2007-01-10 10:11:20|
|Colors||marilyn terwilleger||Marilyn, This is simply amazing! The simple title (perfect by-the-way) doesn't prepare you in the least for the juicy meat of this poem. Your vocabulary in this is wonderful. I love how you open with the word "kaleidoscope," as it floods the mind with wondrous images of the entire spectrum of colors. What a fantastic follow-through on the title! LOVE the "shards of glass ingnite my brain" metaphor you use here, as well. But, your second stanza, and last two lines, are my absolute favs! "Brand patterns" is excellent! And, I love the word "besiege" here...perfectly stated. Also, love the word "laggard" as it puts one in a relaxed state only to be "reawakened" (startled) by the last line. I adore it, my friend! So much vivid imagery in so few well chosen words! Kudos to you! Goes on my list, for sure! Warmest regards, Mary||2006-12-16 08:43:17|
|Heavens Christmas||DeniMari Z.||DeniMari, You begin this with such colorful imagery that invades the mind with great exhuberance! One can almost 'feel' the excitement and anticipation with the following few lines. An almost 'childlike' apprehension....waiting for the next line... This warm and touching poem really tugs the heart, and reflects such a reverance for the season. I very much enjoyed reading this one, my friend. Thanks so much for sharing the wonder! My best to you always, Mary||2006-12-16 08:32:24|
|Walking In Your Holy Land||Claire H. Currier||Claire, This is beautifully done. I adore your first and last stanza. By starting with those words, you made us feel as though we were there in that sacred place, experiencing what is to follow ourselves. So full of wonderful imagery and emotion, and such a feeling of well-being ensues after reading this. Then; you repeat that wonderful first stanza, and bring us back full circle. Brava, Claire! Thank you for the wondrous Chritsmas gift of these precious words. Always, Mary||2006-12-16 08:27:54|
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by Mary J Coffman||Critique Date|
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