Joyce P. Hale's E-Mail Address: skyblu40@earthlink.net
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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Joyce P. Hale has given on The Poetic Link.
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Joyce P. Hale	Critique Date
Tomorrow's Forecast	Rick Barnes	Excellent, Rick! Just as I was thinking it was about the weather, you let us know that it is about whether... (:D What a unique short write, using all the words to mislead the reader, then springing the surprise onto us! I enjoyed it very much! Peace. Joyce	2005-08-29 15:49:32
Love	Audrey R Donegan	Ah, Audrey, a tribute to a word, abused and misused at times, but with its true meaning as lofty as the skies..... I love the visuals of your words, which only serve to underline the feeling of not being able to help ourselves when we fall in love; and in the depth that can be felt in the soft confines of that feeling. The line *Eternally etched into and under my skin* is priceless. Thanks so much for a lovely write. Peace. Joyce	2005-08-24 06:27:03
Middle East	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, an excellent write in a unique fashion! The format you chose rivets one's attention on each word of description, painting in one's mind the picture about which you are writing. The erotic feel of the silk scarves, the allure of the gold coins, the hypnotic dance of arms, and the mesmerizing sound of cymbals and bells rivet the eye and mind. It was a delightful read! Peace. Joyce	2005-08-24 06:23:03
Contradictions	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey, a wonderful write, comparing life with pages of a book, which can either sit on a shelf or be taken down to read and learn. You take feelings and experiences and note the high points, but acknowledge they would not be as sweet and enjoyable without their other sides, which makes the high points more appreciated and sometimes poignant. I especially like the ending, as a book which is being written each day, filled with our good times and bad/sad. Perfect title, of course. Bravo, Audrey. Peace. Joyce	2005-08-23 08:12:03
The Dirt Farmer	Jordan Brendez Bandojo	What a stirring write, Jordan!! It portrays the backbreaking work and always-careful watchfulness of a person tilling their livelihood, his strength and his love; the poetry and music of his movements and thoughts; and the love and care he has for his family. The title is two-fold; it brings to mind the worldliness of those who toil so theirs and others might have sustenance, and the earthiness of their daily chores. But the last two lines are the most beautiful: *I love my father More than I love farming.* Excellent write!! Joyce	2005-08-23 05:42:48
Demon Night (Thou shalt not kill)	Donna Carter Soles	Excellent write, Donna! It starts the reader off with the darkness of the city, of victim and perpetrator, and the deed. Lines are vivid and horrid, descriptive and mind-painting. It seems to be the perfect image of what we seem to see so much of in these days.... killers without consciences and regret. Bravo!	2005-08-21 16:24:44
Retrieval	Jason S. Moore	Jason, I won't pretend to understand all you are saying here, but I like it very much. I've read it three times, and paused on the verses, and find them intriguing and easy on the ear. I love the imagery and mystery of the trek, without necessarily knowing why. *As the apparition turns his face Revealing sockets without eyes, I look away to wander deeper Not to run but to survive. The shadows follow at my speed… No footsteps but my own - Farther still into the caverns - Alert and not alone, ........ I do not bow but greet his gaze With poise and guided hand As counsel to another cause And mother to every man.* I love the guts, persistence and ability to go on despite fear of your character. Hope springs eternal, as does the season in your unique write. Well done. Joyce	2005-08-20 06:22:28
Green Grass	marilyn terwilleger	Ah, Joanne, what succinct and stabbing words proving that old adage. I was a little mislead by the title in my own mind, thinking it would be a write on green grass alone, not the greener grass from which many run from and then to.... *I walked to the forest and saw rugged columns of wood too tall for sky's lid.* (What a picture this paints in the mind!) *I ran to the sea and saw waves crash about, undismayed in their zeal. I tasted salt and felt pointed pellets of water spill upon my skin.* (A true picture of the sea, its random fun and play!) *I found my way to the desert where I saw a two-humped camel with funny flat feet, let sand caress my fingers and toes.* (I've never been to a far eastern desert, but can well imagine the vastness and reach, with the ship of the desert traversing it with no problem.) *I went to the city and saw giants made of brick and steel that jabbed clouds. I saw flickering lamps of light that pierced my eyes, heard sounds that screeched. There is No solitude in this place* (So so true! The city is also a vast desert in ways.) And the best line: *Then I went home... where the Grass is ever greener* (Perfect, Marilyn!!) I enjoyed it very much! Joyce	2005-08-17 06:20:05
The Grooms Gift	stephen g skipper	Ah, Stephen, what a wonderful gift for a bride, words from her loved one's heart! You wax poetic here, although the term *feel it pumping in your hands* seeming faintly tainted with *gore* in my mind, but only for a playful second or two. (:D *You’re the angel that’s captured my mind. Now I give to you my heart, feel it pumping in your hands, yours to do with what you will.* The following paints a luscious picture in my mind, and what a beautiful setting!! (The word *Lets* should be *Let's*... just a small comment, maybe a typo....) *Lets tarry awhile, on an idyllic isle, white sand framed with lush green palms. All set in a deep sapphire sea.* This verse nicely gives credit to your woman's feelings.... (should the commas be removed in the last line? *believe in our one true love.*) *With a wreathed smile, behind a girlish hand, you see me with a woman’s eye and believe in, our, one true love.* And the final happiness and hope for the future: *I pray, henceforth, from this day, that we shall ne’er be parted. This is our season of joy, the start of all our tomorrows.* A fitting token of your love on a meaningful day of your lives, Stephen. Well done!!	2005-08-07 16:31:43
The Marsh Cat	stephen g skipper	Ah, Stephen, may I mention Imagery here??!! You have painted a such picture of being alone amid the world! I picture just these two people, with the wind, rain and world swirling around just outside of their little space. A table for two, with a wind swept promenade view. The rain running sideways across the window, we are served with cold white wine. Even after dinner they are in a world of their own as they move their little space away, home, and into a room where they are truly just the two of them together. We are the last to leave, I run for the car, heading home to my empty house. On the sofa, talking about poetry and rhyme, then we climb the stairs. Naked now in a tender lovers embrace, until its time to go. Is this a clandestine affair? One-sided?? You give it a sense of isolation from everything else. An excellent read. I enjoyed it very much.	2005-08-04 05:42:58
The Red Hat	Mell W. Morris	Mell, you have described that sometimes-lonely, always-searching being so well!! The Poet! I love the lines, *I wonder if it helps him hear hues of purple lilacs and taste the sound of blues Coltrane wails from his sax.* What a unique way to use the senses! and *He cannot leave the world alone...* How apropos to those who see the world in so many varied ways, and write about it as they wish it were! Very insightful. One question, I looked up *proprium* as I always do when I do not know the exact meaning of a word, and did not find it in my dictionary. Is this a word you made up, or is my dictionary not as comprehensive as I have always wished it to be? I do not say this in reproachment in any way as I have been known to make up a word or two myself when I could not find quite the right one; and if this is so, I am quite elated to find another writer who does this. Hee hee hee Peace. Joyce	2005-08-04 05:34:26
The Dark Side	marilyn terwilleger	I like this, Marilyn!! It gives an impression of nightmarish imprisonment on the other side of what might be considered a sane mind. I would have liked to see the last two lines with more the cadence and count of the first ten, but for the life of me I cannot say what you are saying with less syllables! Joyce	2005-08-02 09:56:57
Healing the Breach	Latorial D. Faison	Latorial, I commend you on a unique, excellent write!! The lines are short and terse, and certainly get your thought across most of the time. The rat-a-tat-tat of the four and four lines (first four and lines nine through ten) emphasize the thoughts you wish to get across, of weapons and evil. The interceding lines emphasize the ridiculousness of other events as a result or as an impetus, who knows! And the final lines of wars in the name of peace, and lies healing the breach. I hail your writing, cadence, points.... I must merely withhold my understanding a bit. )-: Good write.	2005-08-02 09:53:11
Full Of Crap	Dellena Rovito	ROFL Excellent write, Dellena!! A *perfect* exposition of the good and the bad!! (Maybe that is where they got the title for that movie, The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly!!!) I enjoyed it very much! Your title definitely draws the attention of people!! Hee hee hee	2005-08-02 09:42:47
Sigh	marilyn terwilleger	Marilyn, excellent lines!!!! You put in only 15 words so much meaning..... extensive plesure, a melancholy soul, someone's love, a description of their passion, and your gentle response. Outstanding! I can find no comments to make to improve upon it. (:D	2005-08-02 09:29:10
Upon Her Leaving	Rick Barnes	Ah, Rick, what insight to a foundering relationship!! Of course, not all those who have decided to leave are as thoughtful as the one in your write; but lucky are those who can look at it in this way. It is unique and introspective write. I enjoyed it very much. One comment on *keep's sake.* I was not sure if this was a typo or a play on the word *keepsake.* Excellent write, though!! Thanks.	2005-08-02 09:10:51
Bob's Name Is Roger	marilyn terwilleger	Ah, Marilyn, a heart-tugging piece of real life.... Not being a member for very long, I did not read the first write, but will search it out and do so now. An example of how not only do the lives and deaths of those near and dear to us have an effect on our lives, but also those with whom we cross paths for only a short time. God bless you for the care you hand out to those who are in need. Hugs,	2005-07-28 05:17:19
Cherry Blossom Melody	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, a beautiful write! *I am what I am because of you* A line of great respect and appreciation! Again you have touched on the feel of centuries gone with your *melic heart* and *symphonic poems.* Your short piece echoes with the feelings that I would think we all share toward those who have been examples to us, those without whom we would be far different people than we are now. Excellent write, about which I can add nor subtract nothing. Thanks. Joyce	2005-07-24 07:50:45
The Battle For Mount Diablo	Kenneth R. Patton	A stunning write, Kenneth Patton!! I love the lines, *Pockets of mist clung to the valleys But soon they too were vanquished Only the peak of the mountain remained shrouded Gray clouds swirled stubbornly Blowing and gathering refusing to relinquish their prize* for I, too, have been entranced by the morning mists, and you give them and the mountain a presence, one which gives image to the battle among mountains, mist and the ultimate winner, the sun. But then, to have the conqueror tire, and go down to the waiting vanquished!! What pictures you paint! The daily ebb and tide of the day! Bravo! Ken.	2005-07-22 15:52:20
Bless Me, Father	Joan M Whiteman	Stunning write, Joan Whiteman!! There are truly those who go through life as you have written - flaying themselves for real or imagined *crimes* or *sins* which they think they have committed, and for which they need absolution. *Turn away from the wind that whips your past.* Wise words! *Ego te absolvo!* Sometimes the hardest words to say, but words which give freedom to the sayer and the person to whom it is said, if they will. Peace.	2005-07-22 15:45:53
Epiphany	Latorial D. Faison	A lovely haiku, Latorial! I have to say that maybe I don't quite understand it, like.... is a rainbow a rainbow if it is strands of blacks and whites?? Forgive me if I am dense, sometimes I am when I first read something, and later on it will hit me. (:D The cadence is flowing, good 5-7-5 line form. Peace.	2005-07-22 15:41:10
Earth Spirit	Michael Bird	What a beautiful write, Michael Bird!! The first lines tell us what we should do.... *Be silent Listen without talking You will hear the earth spirit* Next you guide us where to look and what to do, and touched on many of the beauties and wonders of earth that many take for granted, and never even notice. Each of your requests brings to the reader a miracle of nature, an image, sound or feeling that is basic and free to all who look and listen. No suggestions for improvement! A thoughtful, meditative write. Thank you.	2005-07-22 15:37:30
The Lost Poems of San Francisco	Gene Dixon	Wonderful write, Gene!!! How many times do we find and lose a poem for lack of.... a pencil? paper? time? busyness? I especially loved these lines: *A poem looked right into my eyes and I, in a fit of free verse, failed to see.* and *a poem brushed close and I, in a swirl of imagery, ignored the touch.* Emotional imagery at its best! I enjoyed the setting of your write - San Francisco - for its free style and casualness. And the final verse is poignant and apropos. Very good write, and I cannot find suggestions for change at all.	2005-07-15 10:12:02
A Spiritual Decision	Latorial D. Faison	Very good poem!! Takes a reader from fact, to questions, to thoughts, to lessons. The meter and wording could be improved upon in places to flow more smoothly. For one or two examples.... *For he proposes the narrow and [the] straight In hopes that I will [choose to] enter His gate* [these words could be dropped.] It's trickery . . . this life of material things That [causes me to forget] makes me forget about earning my wings Wonderful thoughts put to words! Good work, Latorial Faison	2005-07-13 07:23:35
The Back Side of the Moon	Mell W. Morris	A uniquely descriptive write.... *Grab the evening star* - how dreamy! *Perch with birds like notes on a staff.* - what a picture this paints! *Sway with seaweed* - Ah, I can just feel it... *A bright yolk of light in my window...* - stunning use of allegory. *yet I recall the feel of soaring* - I love this! I'm sure this is in my mind, as sometimes we cannot see the forest for the trees, but I cannot quite follow the meaning of *Neither time nor tide has mended my wing Rendered unspeaking by pain of the thing.* Aside from my own obtuseness, this write flows beautifully and strokes the imagination.	2005-07-12 08:31:44
Where Do They Come From?	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth, a stunning write!! You have captured so many of the feelings that go into writing, and in a form that is not dragged-out. Each verse is the person! a description! and a finality! *They come from a baby re-living his life in the brain of a middle aged man* These lines I especially savored (although I am not a middle-aged man! ). This is an excellent verse. The line *frantically arranging hand-me-downs* is a bit out of sync with the other lines, but try as I might I could not keep your *sense* and find another way to write it yet. Possibly just dropping the word *frantically* - it would take some of the frenzy out of the verse, but retain a sadness. One thing I would suggest is that you possibly, either at the end or beginning, put in a statement the same as you did for us in the additional notes. Something to the sense of "Where do a writer's words come from?* (Of course, to be grammatically correct, it would be "From where do a writer's words come?*) Anyway, I've occasionally started or finished a write with a one-line *explanation* of the the write. Otherwise, posted alone, it would leave the reader wondering about just what you are writing. Exceptional write that I enjoyed very much, Kenneth Patton	2005-07-12 06:01:02
Another Bronx Day	Jesus Manuel Lopez	How heartbreaking and stunning a write, Jesus! And even more so because it was not and is not now unique for children and innocents to die for a finite reason as a bike; and even for no discernable reasons at all! I loved the form and flow of your writing. The single-word lines seem to jab at you, and grabe your thoughts.... watched - running - praying - crying - dying - collapsing.... The lines, a crowd gathered like curious buzzards around him mesmerized by the growing red stain on his shirt..... stunning, horrifying, and picture-perfect! And the ending: all this over a bicycle What more is there to say?! You have told a sad horror story in 27 lines, and not that many more words! It tells the outward story, but not the inside story, of the grief of those who love those who die on the streets. I cannot really find fault with this write. Well-done....	2005-07-11 15:39:17
I Wonder	marilyn terwilleger	Ah, Marilyn, what thoughts and sounds with which to open one's day!! *When sunrise shatters night and I surrender sublime slumber, I drink of stillness and smooth my empty bed.* I love the phrase *drink of stillness,* although all four lines are striking. *Window clear, polite, pebbles of rain fall on sightless trees and peaceful is their quietude.* ....pebbles of rain fall on **** trees.... This is unique, but I wonder if another word rather than *sightless* might read better here. Or is there a reason for the *sightless?* * Aromas Of saucy coffee Lure me and brighten my langour. I become bewitched as morn gives birth to sound. Trilling birds, distant hounds barking, A siren's solitary wail. Sun peeks above horizon's brink giving plaudit to sonorous hues, from primrose to maize, that creeps between The cracks of dawn.* I love your pictures here! A comment about *sonorous.* The word sonorous connotates loud, resonant. With the words primrose, maize, creeps... following this line, might it be more appropriate to give plaudit to something softer and more quiet? No suggestions, just an idea maybe? The last two verses voice the universal thoughts of many of what the coming day may bring, and whether or not it would be better to know the future or not. Wonderful write, Marilyn!! Peace.	2005-07-10 12:03:18
Texas Toast	Jana Buck Hanks	Jana, what vivid pictures your words of fiery air bring to a reader's mind! Many of your descriptions are priceless: Clotted soil crunches between fingers; French fried strawberries; Tomato vines flourish sans fruit; strange squash mutate into imposter cucumbers; sky rocketed temperatures romancing the stones; Weathered wooden fence, a funeral trellis to withered Moon. And most of all, the last line: Life in the Texas garden, a union of sun and earth. What a union!! One in which the sun seems to be the dominant and abusive partner, eh??!! Even the title is apropos.... Texas Toast! There is one line upon which I was not clear... *Impeded bird bitten new life casually rots.* Should this possibly have had a hyphant if it refers to fruit that was partly eaten... *bird-bitten?* Or am I totally clueless? (:D Excellent descriptive write.... Peace.	2005-07-10 11:45:13
With Banners Flying	Kenneth R. Patton	Kenneth Patton, what a lovely write!! Taking the thoughts of two in love and putting them into words that tell a story in themselves about lovers and what they feel in self-doubt of themselves and others. Placing them in a medieval *setting* and in a setting where they are actually in the same time and place, each seeing things in the other that may not be there, yet knowing that even though they are imperfect themselves, they are loved by the other. This was delicious! Your dearth of punctuation except for exclamations threw me somewhat, but I understand that many poems are penned in this way, so I don't know if this a true comment or not, except in my own opinion. Good write!	2005-07-10 10:56:13
Smile	marilyn terwilleger	What a delightful short read, Marilyn!! You take a person from the smile which you see, through the sun and light that it enhances, to the whispery winds, to where the smile is transferred to you, in 18 words.... Bravo! There is naught I can say to improve upon your journey of a smile from one face to another.	2005-07-09 06:58:14
The Rain Upon the Heather	Sean Donaghy	Sean, this is a stunning write that flows beautifully. Starts with statements telling the reader what the poem's about, follows with questions and what I love - flights into fancy that take normal every-day events and turn them into lovely whimsey; then facts, then blessing and an analogy of earth and our souls, and the final touch of fancy again, to leave the reader with a hushed feeling. (I believe "when ere" in the last verse should have an apostrophe - *whene'er.*) A soft, lulling write......	2005-07-09 06:30:43
Beauty in the eyes of the beholder	Dellena Rovito	I really enjoyed this write!!!! Maybe my senses are wrong, but my take on it is that you are saying, Yeah! Right!! You have aptly listed the repertoire and litany of many of the the celebrities, magazines and companies that promote the products of *love my looks, love me,* and after doing so, seem to have emanated the attitude of disbelief in same. Wonderful insightful write.	2005-07-08 11:48:35
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Joyce P. Hale	Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 33 out of 33 Total Critiques.

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