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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that C Arrownut has given on The Poetic Link.
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Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!Displaying Critiques 1 to 17 out of 17 Total Critiques.
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by C Arrownut||Critique Date|
|Political Senryu 4||Michael J. Cluff||Hi Mike, not having seen the movie, maybe I shouldn't critique your poem, but perhaps what I remember from a Catholic grade school about the Jews executing Christ might give me a chance with your poem. I was quite surprised to find that those words came out to the 5-7-5 requirement of the Haiku. And the message is quite appropriate, considering the history of Christianity, which has damned the Jews to hell, based on a couple sentences from the Bible. And if I recall right, it was in the New Testament (written by Christians who knew and followed Christ when he was alive. What I'm getting at is that they were probably very bitter and in a rage over the death of Christ and the betrayal of Judas, a fellow conrad up to that point. Lately I have heard that three books of the NT have the same style, etc. which made me wonder if one person wrote all three and made it look like three different versions. Never can tell about people back then. As for myself, I feel the ones in power were responsible--Romans, who felt threatened by anyone who could get a lot of followers. Guess that's not related to your poem, though. Sorry, got lost somewhere in my own verbiage. I like the way you used all the words except "being." But as I sit here, trying to think of an alternate word, nothing comes to mind. Also, the use of that word implies that the Jews are also victims, because of the Christian reaction over the years, not to mention persecutions. One point on words: why is villain singular while Jews is plural? Shouldn't villain be plural, also. Unless I have totally missed something here. Not sure. Using the traditional haiku structure implies that this prejudice has been going on since the beginning of Christianity, which it has. Anyway, a good poem, but don't send it to the Univ. of Notre Dame Press or Cath. U Press. Not a good idea with that church going so haywire with the protestant fundamentalist right wing. Basically, I like the poem and message, because it's not a politically-proper message. And from my opinion anyway, that kind of message is what the public needs to hear, whether they want to or not. Full of guts and grit. Great work. I too have a relig. poem, but didn't have the guts to put it up. Maybe I will now. G.A.||2004-04-04 12:07:43|
|Poetry (in the Tradition of Science)||Jordan Brendez Bandojo||Jordan, excellent poem. I think I understood most of it, except the planets revolving around Phoebus Appollo. Now he was the god of creativity, you might say. I believe he played the lair, tho not quite sure. Do you know that all of the Apollo temples in Greece and what is now Turkey are located above faults. The one at Adelphi is located over the intersection of 3 faults. Amazing considering how little of science the ancients knew. I especially enjoyed the ending, which connected science (biology) with life and your very existence. Also, the interplay between science (or the natural) and the arts is very insightful. At the end, it's as if you bring together the entire universe into a unified whole. Absolutely fantastic. This one has my vote. Keep up the good work and Happy New Year, C. Arrownut||2004-01-02 16:41:49|
|Rural Shindig||Jordan Brendez Bandojo||Well Jordan, this time I'm the one who's mystified. It sounds like you're describing a party that's totally out of hand. I'm not sure what news alerts everyone, but then it seems everyone is going down the stairs, or trying to, at the same time. And it's causing trouble, maybe even people getting hurt. But then in the last two lines, it sounds like everyone has joined together to enjoy the festivities. Since I know little about Phillipino culture, it's hard for me to picture this. Also, I got the impression that both the rich and poor were at the party, intermingling without class prejudice. I liked the expressions: sly spongers, scare crow (to describe some men), and after that gate crashers worked in perfectly. Also liked the description of the staircase which conveys the impression that this party is being held at a rich person's house, or some kind of grand ballroom. Though I'm not sure what the poem as a whole means, I enjoyed reading your detailed images. Great description. Keep up the good work. C. Arrownut||2003-12-29 15:11:16|
|The Stoop||Mell W. Morris||Hi Mell, I certainly enjoyed this poem. Marmalade and tea--suddenly I'm starving. The way you weave the colors of food and drink into those of nature is absolutely fantastic. I could just see the late aft. slowly wane. Then on to the coming dawn, fertility of soil--all blending with the new life the child represents at the beginning. Such images tie all together and create the warmest feeling that the best things in life are the little daily enjoyments: tea, marmalade, children's snacks and play, nature in all her glory. What a testament to the glory and miracle of life. Great poem and keep up the good work. C. Arrownut||2003-12-28 21:04:06|
|The Cross||Jordan Brendez Bandojo||Hi Jordan, not sure I understand this. Is Christ the narrator? It sounds like a prayer-poem, perhaps Christ on the way to Calvary, or us trying to live the Christian way. I think I understand it, until the end. Who is to be like him and who is he who drinks the cup/drank the cup. I feel like there's some poetic reference here that I missed or have forgotten. When you mention cup like this, the first person I thought of was Socrates, but that didn't make sense. Anyway, I hope you enlighten me. I enjoyed the poem, something about the flow of the words felt comfortable. Good luck with poetry. C.Arrownut||2003-12-05 20:10:25|
|Tsa-ga-gla-tal||Joanne M Uppendahl||Hi Joanne, noticed your raccoon poem is second. Excellent in its simplicity and clarity. I wasn't familiar with Beaver moom or Tsa-ga-gla-tal, so thanks for the note. In particular, I liked the ending images: thick warm coat, dreams, safe. The type of poem to read in front of a fireplace on a snowy night. Also, the image of her cheeks puffed with food suggests Thanksgiving. I remember the falls when I lived back east, so beautiful, though you don't mention the turning leaves I saw them still. Thank you for sharing. It deserves recognition. C. Arrownut||2003-12-05 19:50:07|
|The Other Side||Mell W. Morris||Hi Claire, I can certainly see why this poem has hit #1. Great going and well-deserved. Your poem was described so well that I couldn't help but remember the covered bridges I've gone through. These old remnants were made like forts with special love and care of craftsmanship. I can certainly see how they lead you to think of your own dreams. These bridges were made when people were settling this country--their dream, and the sturdiness of bridge indicates their determination to stay in this land. In particular, I like the line: the old wooden spavined spans. The image is priceless and very realistic. And "covered with honeysuckle vines that twine along the railings." Excellent and I see you not only meant covered bridges, but all wooden ones. The artistry of our ancestors has been captured in this poem. Congratulations, C. Arrownut||2003-12-05 19:38:15|
|Her Healing Hands||Mark D. Kilburn||Hi Mark, I take it this is a love story, perhaps even the love of a wife who kept your blood pumping through all thick and thin. I enjoyed this so much, even places where you break the rules, such as "ground cover covers"--the repetition of words so close to each other. But here it works and did not take my mind off your message at all. Basically, that's how I judge whether or not a certain word is the right one or not: does it take the reader's mind off the message? So I say Bravo and good luck. I look forward to reading more of your work. I hope I've been helpful. If not, look at my poems and tear with the teeth of a lion. C.||2003-11-16 18:22:52|
|Birth Right||Ken Dauth||Hi Ken, I'll see if I understand your poem. The first and last stanzas seem to be about the young going off so eagerly to war to conquer foreign lands. at least that's what I got out of them. Now the second stanza is where I had problems. I wasn't sure what "lay down" meant. Now you have people of color and other faiths doing this, but it seems to me that they rather stand up for their rights, rather than "lay down." Now I take it the white people are the ones making the wrong decisions because we either have no facts or untrue ideas about these other people. Overall, I enjoyed your message, if I understood it right. And these are the kinds of ideas we need more people to realize so we can all get a clearer picture of each other as fellow human beings. Hope I was right and that I haven't inadvertantly insulted anything you wanted to say. Good Luck, C.||2003-11-16 18:12:46|
|What you gave up and Desire (two poems)||Kimberly A Butterworth||Hi Kimberley, I enjoyed this poem, though after many reads I'm not sure what it means, but I've finally decided to take a stab. It seems to say that striving after and desiring material things only brings pain and emptiness. Then it urges one simply to be satisfied with what is. What I gather from that is that it's the spiritual and emotional that give us satisfaction, and that should be man's central goal. You bring up the question of change, which seems to be a law of the universe, even for the individual who grows up, marries, has children, grows old, and dies. I take it you mean that satisfaction comes from simply applying ourselves to these everyday things and to forget about the get-rich-quick schemes. Very laudable message. Just a couple things for improvement: Where you have "it's" it should be "its," and the periods at the end of the first four lines in both stanzas of the first poem bothered me. Other than that, it's fine, and I wish you luck if you intend to send this one to mags or jours. C.||2003-11-16 18:01:11|
|Forever Daddy||Jordan Brendez Bandojo||My gosh Jordan, no wonder you were embarrassed and shocked by my poems. I read this one and "Mother and Child" And definitely enjoyed both. Your English is much better here than in your emails. Just one line was a little off: I yearned I can fly. We don't use "yearned" like this. My suggestions: My dream was to fly or I dreamed of flying. Even I yearned to fly. All in all I like your ideas and your admiration for your father. I hope he is still alive to read this. I'm sure he'd be pleased and quite proud of you for listening to his wisdom. The mother and child is quite well done-haiku. I enjoy writing them, but have only a few that are any good. You bring out the nurturing role of mothers and fathers quite well in these two poems. Perhaps in your culture you wouldn't consider what your father taught you to be nurturing, but the way I look at it is that he took the time to teach you because he loved you and over here we consider that nurturing (love). Thanks for sharing. Gayle||2003-11-07 21:41:29|
|Between the Wind and the Song of Calling Geese||Joanne M Uppendahl||Hi Joanne, I definitely like this poem. It reminds me of the splendar of the age old Oak Trees which lined a street I lived on in Illinois. The coming out of the green in spring brought a canopy of the love God must have given them. Such Splendor in the grass and trees. And every fall the fiery array of orange and yellow provided another canopy of God's love. Then the squealing of the Robins, Blue Birds, and the quiet but forever industrious ants. All there to remind me of God's love for all things. Your poem reminded me of that time, a warm memory of spring, summer, and fall, then the anticipation of the wait while the snow fell definitely made the first speck of green even more luscious. And it indeed feels like God's grace just as you mention in your poem. In the first stanza I can just feel the wind against my face once more. A poem is fabulous to the extent it evokes memories that the reader has long since forgotten. Excellent poem and should be rated higher on the list. Good Going. I enjoyed your poem and the title works extremely well with this feeling you evoke. Thank you for sharing such a near part of yourself. C.||2003-10-05 22:03:41|
|Our Bullets are Bigger||Karen Ragan||Hi Karen, I enjoyed reading your poem and thought the notes were good, because I was wondering how old Josh was. Too bad it wouldn't fit into the poem. I liked the lack of rhyme because of the subject matter--war. Also, I liked the first part best because there you used more metaphor and symbol, while the end is direct narrative. Verall, a very good poem and an excellent read. Thanks for sharing. Sorry I don't have more to say. Hope what I did say is helpful.||2003-09-13 17:54:42|
|The Complications of Life||Erica L. Badger||Hi Erica, I enjoyed your poem and could definitely relate to it. Basically, I was pretty sheltered until my divorce. After that, I felt shocked by a lot of things I had heard about, but had never seen. That passed after about five years. Now it's just lately the shock has started up again. As for your style, I like the rhyme, but thought it a little repetitious, perhaps just varying in one or two stanzas might help. Also, I think the title could function as the first line, rather than repeating. Or you might just see if you could vary one word in the first line. Overall, I thought it a good write and an excellent read. Thanks for sharing it. I could remember some old times through it. Does us oldsters good to be reminded that youth wasn't always as great as we'd like to think. Thanks again.||2003-09-13 17:45:57|
|THE DEVIL'S DUE||Mark D. Kilburn||Mark, I'm not sure what to say about this poem and I'm not sure I totally understand it. First, The only experience I can bring to it is the feelings of blues or just a blah day which doesn't really leave me excited about anything and I don't seem to know what to bitch about during these times. Just having these things, it's hard to imagine getting deeper. I've heard that the phrase "being down to the barrel of the bottle doesn't say much, because everyone's barrell is not the same size. Some descend much lower and some all the way to suicide or an attempt. But I liked the words and the power in them that did give me a brief shot inside. The extreme emotions are hard to convey without sounding ridiculous, but I think you have given me a very brief glance into the deepest deep, which I may not ever forget. Thanks for sharing.||2003-08-28 23:08:28|
|An Immodest Request||Rick Barnes||Not bad, Rick. You sure have collected the critiques on your work. I took this to mean the personae is making a pass at a woman. And in the last line, he lets her know that his advances in the first place meant that he was surrendering. I like the idea of both parties surrendering and the gentleness in the approach, a gentle, yet strong passion. In short, loving. Excellent poem. Now can you write one on violence and let the passion run as high? Take trying it as a dare. 1 poem credit transfer if you can and we'll let the others decide by their critiques. (I didn't see anything in the rules forbidding it, though, the bet I mean) Will you match my 1 poem credit? Send answer to firstname.lastname@example.org. I'd really like to see if you're a writer for all seasons.||2003-08-27 00:30:42|
|Drivin Me Crazy (No "G" intended)||George L White||Hi George L. White, Not sure I understand title, especially the 'G' part. But I enjoyed the humor very much. One thing though the rhyme is too obvious for me. And too much sing-song rhythm. I did see a double meaning, though: it was in the switching. Not sure if you meant a sex change or a ridiculous situation. Had fun reading it. Thanks for sharing.||2003-08-13 18:01:57|
|Poem Title||Poet Name||Critique Given by C Arrownut||Critique Date|
Displaying Critiques 1 to 17 out of 17 Total Critiques.
If you would like to view all of C Arrownut's Poetry just Click Here.
Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!