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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Marcus J has given on The Poetic Link.
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Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Marcus J	Critique Date
Versemen Chronicles	Victor David Rooks	Interesting title. I prefer versemonger – they’re one in the same (it’s just me being picky again). The repetition serves in separating verses. The twist at the end – shunning wisdom – is definitely natural as suggested in repetition. It’s just a shame that we mortals have to ascend to the level of a creator before we know better. I hesitate to say “the level of a creator” for fear I might sink my titanic. Perhaps a notch below the Creator is safer said. I had a little difficulty with the line, “While prodding man the incline.” I felt like it was forced. All in all, another fine read, Victor. I look forward to reviewing more of your poetry this month. Mark M	2008-05-07 23:58:18
The Leila Gita	Regis L Chapman	Okay Regis, here comes the apology. I know very few Bhajan words outside the “Airport Noises” once often heard while standing in the ticket line years ago. No doubt there is great deal of Hindu overtones throughout this lengthy piece. I express profound ignorance in this belief as well. I seem to recall that Gita refers to a song of deities of sorts, thus the chanting stanzas. And now I scroll down to the additional notes and read that I’m half right – sort of. I can speak for the English text and tell you that it flows well. The mention of wine stealing “its tint from Lelia’s cheek” is the personification of love; furthermore, stealing its brightness from her eye is true love. And still, I can’t help but sense a forbidden love, perhaps I’m wanting to equate Lelia with Lolita. Remember Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita? Another emotional encounter, albeit taboo. On second thought, you’re probably too young. I look forward to more of your work. Be sure to include additional notes if you’re chanting :) Mark M	2008-05-07 21:33:11
House Noises	Regis L Chapman	At first, I was turned off by a singsong rhyming scheme, but then an erratic pattern emerged and the piece actually flowed well. This poem is chocked full of vivid remembrances and wonderful analogies. I love the thought of “Stealing water from a fountain.” I also love the personification of the house itself – how it has to adapt to your moving in and vice-versa with your “learning (its) noises.” I stumbled just a little with the line, “in and on the side of my head” – I’m not sure if the word “on” is exactly what you meant. If you’re trying to convey “hearing” or sense thereof then I believe “out” works better. At least this is what I kept interjecting with my reread. Of course, my fountain may be too deep :) Thanks for sharing, Regis. And now I’m going to read your other poem for a fourth time and begin with an apology. Mark M	2008-05-07 21:31:13
Shaun R.I.P.	DeniMari Z.	Such a loving tribute, poet. Your words echo a tender release for the loss of your son. I am especially moved by the lines, “Nirvana or the Promised Land Earthly pain and trials Led you to your final release.” I wish you Godspeed in healing, Mark M	2008-05-07 11:07:53
An End	Dellena Rovito	Very reminiscent of Dylan and his war protest songs. How sadly true this tone rings fresh at this time when “we” as a nation should know better – the causalities and costs are immeasurable. But there will always be wars and rumors of wars. This is the curse of humankind and none of us is immune. Thank you for sharing this thought provoking piece. Mark M	2008-05-05 10:03:35
Brain Scan	Kenneth R. Patton	Fitting title. Near perfect meter. And yes, it makes sense to me as well. However, I'm reading a different last stanza: So it appears I’m an example of why men’s brains are split If not, all men would be like me and not simply full of shit. Overdue for my 100,000 mile brain scan, Mark M	2008-04-30 23:03:39
Infidelity	Audrey R Donegan	Audrey, I believe your poem submissions thus far are sharing the same theme. I love the form. And once gain your opening line is poetic, but straight away I see a grammatical error in the second line which is most likely a typo, but never the less distracting. The same can be said for line 3 in respect to typo (consummate). Ditto line 10: (fallibility). You’re typing to fast, dear. Now I go back and read it as if for the first time and ignore the typos and what I read is a nicely executed poem. I usually don’t point out typos, but I have to wonder here if this was some sort of test. Either way, nice poem. I look forward to reading more of your work. Mark M	2008-04-10 13:53:48
Tuesday	Audrey R Donegan	Sort of reminds me of Bowie’s “Love You Till Tuesday.” Audrey, I love the first line of your poem - I’m especially fond of the alliteration. I must confess having a little difficulty picturing a sink with bosoms, but then I’m not privy to the inspiration. “Shards” plays well with “defeated.” I’m not sure if the rest of the line, however, is complete – perhaps a typo or missing word? The first line is well executed, and the context is easy to grasp. I’m eager to hear a response in regards to line 5. I look forward to your rewrite and reading more of your work. Mark M	2008-04-10 13:51:31
Please	Audrey R Donegan	“Echo(e)s between phrases” is a wonderful metaphor when use in conjunction with love. It signifies a lingering of sorts, a “hunger” as penned in line 9, and a lust as in “shameless indulgence.” And it does all of this without being actual words. Yes, echoes are a poet’s best friend. Your ending couplet hints of a never ending echo. Nicely done. Welcome to the Link, Audrey. Stay and play with us for a while. Mark M	2008-04-10 13:44:23
Second to None	Kenneth R. Patton	Ken, the inspiration for your writing must be someone very special. Here we have yet another poignant piece. I’m sensing eroticism with this one, however. And it’s done extremely well! The test of a true poet is to avoid the crass wording in erotic poetry when it involves love. I’ve witnessed many writers make this mistake and it’s always left me to believe that they were simply horny at the moment, and not in love. Excellent work, poet. No suggestions for improvement. Mark M	2008-04-08 08:52:31
You Wonder? (How could you?)	Kenneth R. Patton	It’s the soft L’s of this short piece that set the tone for this reader. The punctuation is at a minimum and works well. If I were to make one suggestion, it would be to shorten the title to simply “You Wonder.” It’s a bit wordy as is, and made me stumble somewhat between title and body. Your thoughts are penned poignantly, poet. I look forward to reading more of your work. Mark M	2008-04-08 08:50:58
Seduction	Victor David Rooks	Excellent flow, poet! I’m sensing in your words both lust and envy. Upon reading the last line, I feel like these emotions personify death, the “welcomed thief.” Now that’s one take. Take two: your title suggests intimacy. Your poem in comparison hints of a forbidden love, and perhaps regret. One of the many beauties of good poetry is open interpretation and this poem is a fine example of that beauty. Welcome back, Victor. I look forward to reading more of your work. Mark M	2008-04-06 15:01:58
Poem Title	Poet Name	Critique Given by Marcus J	Critique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 12 out of 12 Total Critiques.

If you would like to view all of Marcus J's Poetry just Click Here.

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