Monica ONeill's E-Mail Address: esmereldarose@msn.com
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Below you will see ALL of the Critiques that Monica ONeill has given on The Poetic Link.
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Displaying Critiques 1 to 8 out of 8 Total Critiques.| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Monica ONeill | Critique Date |
| Calling center blues | Claus Michael Ranswill | Claus, I totally get this....I worked at a call centre that answered for a cell phone company...it was horrible. It was my first job after moving to Canada. On the other hand, before I ended up north of the border, I worked at a travel reservation company for fifteen years and ended up being the call centre manager. It was a much more reasonable enviornment, from reservationist up to management. I wrote this after Hurricane Iniki visited Kauai... JUST ANOTHER DAY Tis another work day And I'm just half awake, The computer stands waiting Deciding my fate. The phone queue is flashing A brilliant hued red. What questions lie waiting To mess with my head? The phone cord is tangled, My headset won't work, It's bare nine o'clock And I'm going berzerk. An agent lies waiting "They've just missed their plane!" It's not even lunchtime And I'm going insane. "And why can I not Have the car I demand? I booked it, it's paid for I don't understand!" Is it time to go home yet? My head is athrob, I moan and complain But I just love this job. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I just thought you would get a laugh out of it. I wrote it for the staff because we were really stressed... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Now my dear, you liked to rhyme, that's great. I do in my funny stuff, not so much my serious, romantic stuff. You might want to play around with the language a bit. For example: Answering the phone from the morning till the middle of the night Putting up with their irate-ness gives my brain such a fright Arguing about their orders, services and bills Sometimes it gets so bad; you want to start popping pills Answering phones from morning til night Putting up with irateness gives my brain a fright Arguing about orders, services and bills Sometimes so bad, I want to pop pills. Claus, sometimes less is more. I've said the same thing, but with fewer words and it has a smarter cadence and it still rhymes. Also, the first person in the last line says more. You might want to try condensing it a bit. I know everyone has their own voice, this is just a suggestion. Anyway, I totally understand this...hope you have a great day on the phones tommorrow. I'm still involved in a call centre, but I am their in house writer and rarely get on the phones anymore. It also helps that I work from home. Sorry about the book, writer's curse... Cheers, Moni | 2009-04-21 22:32:45 |
| The Cat | Dellena Rovito | Hi Dellena, I am so rusty at this. So it goes with the feline persuasion. How sad to be put out in the cold when all that was wanted was a little affection. Is there a hidden meaning beneath these seemingly straightforward lines? There very well could be...or perhaps it is just my mind set at the moment. Mouchie, our cat, does all of these things...but only goes out on a leash...and then he walks me...most of the time. Nice read. Cheers, Moni | 2007-08-26 16:37:27 |
| Somewhere in the back of my mind I hear a melody | Leo Wilder | Leo, Interesting mix of a slightly religious theme with modern day influences, in a more than slightly sarcastic tone. Shows a complexity of mind, and the possibility of a dual personality, or perhaps an ingenious multi tasker. I look at this as one would look at a lank of braided hair, three separate strands, wound together, yet each distintive.... A thought provoker. Moni | 2005-02-14 13:44:23 |
| verse 36 (Ku Klux Klan) - revisited | Erzahl Leo M. Espino | "Killer of kaleidoscope" How apt...the vanquishers of all colors....the quashers of diversity. The allitteration emphasizes the lack of diversity, whether intended or otherwise. Shall we dismiss all words that do not begin with K? Was that intentionally done or a happy accident? Either way, another gem. A friend of mine is very fond of these three liners, and he would love this one. I shall send it to him. Take care, Moni | 2005-01-18 18:57:51 |
| Individuality | Latorial D. Faison | Long live individuality and the right to be ourselves. And yes, let's pray for the ability to always be able to create new words, appreciate those created by others..and let us relish our differences. Simple yet elegant, packed with meaning in so few words. Like the free form..very individual...good on you... Have a great holiday... Moni | 2004-12-20 15:38:20 |
| The Encompassing Compass | James Edward Schanne | What a vocabulary!!!! I have not seen the birth of Christ depicted in such a way. The smile being mesmerizing enought to capture a star in flight, impelling it to lead the way. The lack of punctuation allows the mind to decide how to decifer the message. At first it seems distracting, but then again, it allows one to decide how the thoughts and feelings flow on a personal level. No one feels the same about that night. No two people got the exact same message. The interpretations are endless. By allowing each reader to decide their own break points, you have given credence to the belief that all interpretations of the Miracle have value. I thank you for this look into the past...nice work. Moni | 2004-12-20 15:30:41 |
| X Me Happy | DeniMari Z. | No matter what country I am in, all the sentiments in your poem appear to apply. They say it is all about the experience.....well...so be it. This is a lighthearted view of the annual ritual of the Holidays...and very astute at that. I've never had chewing gum in the nativity scene though...that is a new one for me. Maybe some thoughtfull child envisioned a gift to the newborn King. I guess, to a child, a wad of chewing gum, though perhaps slightly used, is a very appropriate and usefull gift. I really got a kick out of this, and thank you so much for the Greetings. I hope you have a Merry Christmas too. Moni | 2004-12-20 15:16:21 |
| Letting the Me Out | Latorial D. Faison | HI there, I find it hard to "let the me out" as well. Isn't it funny that sometimes to survive in a relationship, or in a society, one is forced to change who we are, and keep the real me to ourselves. I can identify with this...more than ever...and appreciate the words. I like the free form as well, but more than that just the simple message. In a way, in the poem, you are "letting the me out" if even for just a little while. Have a great holiday. Moni | 2004-12-18 20:09:08 |
| Poem Title | Poet Name | Critique Given by Monica ONeill | Critique Date |
Displaying Critiques 1 to 8 out of 8 Total Critiques.
If you would like to view all of Monica ONeill's Poetry just Click Here.