Tanner Dale West's E-Mail Address: wyo22tex@yahoo.com


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Displaying Critiques 1 to 2 out of 2 Total Critiques.

Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Tanner Dale WestCritique Date
Memories of BerthaSherri L. WestI am so proud of you for submitting this poem. I was surprised to find your poem witten as free verse...only because that I would normally expect a first poem [submitted to others for review] to be a more traditional, rhyming, metered, etc... effort. One of the things that I especially enjoyed was your use of all of the senses to remember your grandmother: Smell -"The smell of coffee" Touch -"nestled safely in your comfy lap, my ear pressed against your breast" Hearing -"I like to listen as you swallow" Sight -"Your smile displays delight" Even more importantly, you are speaking directly to your grandmother...it seems to be an intimate portrayal...it is a window that I am glad you left open for me to look through. One of my favorite lines in your poem is "I like to listen as you swallow". Something as simple as this is so important because it illustrates to the reader just how important she is to you...just how much you love her. To me, it is the little, seemingly insignificant details [like this] that convey the real messages of feeling. Likewise, I also enjoy the objects you remembered (treasure box...). Grandpa had a treasure box...and I have one too. Again, such a detailed memory reinforces the significance and genuine nature of the words. I like the flow of the poem. First, you simply remember her presence. Second you remember the surroundings, and last, you remember specific activities. I think this was well thought-out, and genuinely drafted from the heart...That is what writing poetry is really about. The bonus is remembering and sharing with those of us who never had an opportunity to create thos memories with her. Your strongest line is the last line. It leaves an impact that is true the theme of the poem. Well done! Thank you for remembering the details...the little things that are really so big to you. Tanner 2004-03-16 18:22:01
Droughtmarilyn terwillegerHello Grammy, The books are closed tonight...I needed some fresh air. I guess I am in a somewhat unique position, because I that your poem is about the drought that has lagued your poor yard since Spring. It seems that these Wyoming droughts are getting longer each year. I can picture walking across your back yard...it saddens you...especially as you remember how beatiful it was, and how much work you put into it. I like how you have personifed just about everything: sad greens, smiling gardens, ruthless sun, robbing winds...As always, you use words that I must look up. You are to thank for the oil stains that saturate my Dictionary pages from the countless words that I have looked up from your poems. My favorite part of this poem is the defiance of the Marigolds...they know it is futile, yet they stand tall... The alliteration that you scatter throughout your poem adds a playful tone...which makes me think that you are not yet fully broken, that you have not given up all hope, that you will be out there as soon as Spring springs, and that you will once more love your beatiful yard. Also, living in Texas, I hear people complain about "droughts" almost every year...however, during our droughts we get more rain than you do during your best rainfall years. We don't even know what cracks look like... I love the poem, I think it says quite a bit more than exactly what it says. Tanner 2003-10-17 20:01:19
Poem TitlePoet NameCritique Given by Tanner Dale WestCritique Date

Displaying Critiques 1 to 2 out of 2 Total Critiques.

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