This Poem was Submitted By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2003-06-09 01:25:35 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Shielded Suffering

Inert on my back my limbs tied tight I gaze at the moon in wait for the light Suddenly he comes with shovel in hand The chanting so strange, what is his plan? Looking at me with powerful black eyes Panic I feel my heart briefly dies After all had been done what anguish now No understanding of what he’d allow? The sky above is filling with dust Clothes he seizes with utter disgust Why was he doing such horrid deeds What is required to fulfill his needs? Four men appear coming from each way Screams from my soul life alters to haze Gathering my body now thrown in a grave I render my essence as I aspire to be brave. I must have endured because I am yet here Not remembering all tortures until this past year Each nightmare appeared a shred at a time Strenuously requesting to be free from this crime. Nothing can erase all the torment of past But I refuse to allow my yesterdays to surpass The living of life to the fullest I can For God has a substantially transformed plan.

Copyright © June 2003 Debbie Spicer

Additional Notes:
Many know of my struggles in remembering this time when I was 18, and for 2 1/2 years I have dealt with this in nightmares, flashbacks (yes, just like combat), and I have grown, I have become stronger, I now realize ever as an ER RN, traumatic memories can be buried in the subconscious. It was 31 years before these memories become reality, when our granddaughter wouldn't breathe when she was born. (She did fine in the resusitation), but I do now believe the subconsicous exsists, and a wise man told me once when the computer chip comes "loose", it will not stop until most all is revealed. I have come a long way, I have much to learn and conquer yet, but I know with God's strenth and power, the awesome support I have received on TPL, the wonderful friends I have met, the critiques which enlightened me more than the poems I have submitted, there is nothing like this site. Thanks to each of you for helping me through a time when I wasn't sure I was going to make it. There are many who have stayed with me through this journey to become family, and you know who you are! With much love and thanks.... Debbie

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