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This Poem was Submitted By: stephen g skipper On Date: 2003-08-06 21:53:00 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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In The Arms Of Morpheus

I feel your gentle breath upon my neck, Whilst you sleep next to me. It is a reassurance. The rythmn of your breathinng reminds me, Of a summers day, It lulls me and cures me, Of all my daily ills. It puts me on a beach next to an ocean, It swells in time with your breasts, As you exhale. This brings comfort, In the middle of the night, In the knowledge that you are near. I feel the warmth of your body, As I would the sun on the shore. And all this is brought to me, within our bedroom door.

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2003-09-06 12:48:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.16667
A wonderfully laid out poem with excellent descriptive phraseology..."it swells in time with your breasts" which is a good example. The title is very apt. My only concern is the last line...the "door" for me does not fit, but "walls" would. Thanks for posting this piece.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-09-04 13:53:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Stephen: This poem is concentrated in form, depicting the thoughts of the speaker as he observes his beloved in sleep. There is so much 'life' in breathing, as it is the one thing necessary to keep body and soul together. Breath and warmth of life are key in this work. So much so that ironically, the speaker's keen awareness of these bespeaks his knowledge of potential absence. The sleeping of the beloved is like the stoppage of time, in a sense, allowing the reader to share in these moments of comfort and safety in the closeness and warmth felt. The bedroom is the container, as is the poem, for what is of paramount importance to the speaker - the loved one's continued breathing. From the arresting title, I drew inferences on the mythology of Morpheus, who was the god of dreams in Greek mythology. According to poet Ovid, he was the son of Hypnos, the god of Sleep: "King Sleep was father of a thousand sons - indeed a tribe - and of them all, the one he chose was Morpheus, who had such skill in miming any human form at will. No other Dream can match his artistry in counterfeiting men: their voice, their gait, their face - their moods; and, too, he imitates their dress precisely and the words they use most frequently. But he mimes only men..." But I also thought of the book title "In the Arms of Morpheus" which details the "tragic history" the origins of laudanum, and morphine. And thus a note of sadness, perhaps a foreshadowing, is present in the title and sustained throughout the work. I feel your gentle breath upon my neck, Whilst you sleep next to me. The opening couplet, in which the speaker addresses the sleeping one, is an intimate portrait. It seems peaceful, cherishing and tender. I could not restrain tears as I read more into the work. Nothing about this poem is sentimental or treacly, as may happen in the hands of lesser writers. As a reader I felt a deep connection, and a growing lump in my throat. Especially after the next line . . . It is a reassurance. The rythmn of your breathing reminds me, Of a summers day, It lulls me and cures me, Of all my daily ills. The only time that a loved one's breathing is reassuring is if in anticipation of the moment when it may stop. I have been at this juncture in life, though not with a mate. One realizes the importance and the privilege of these moments, reading this poem. In soft understatement, we feel the deep emotions of the speaker - or our own resonance to them. This is the work of masterful poetry - to evoke emotions in the reader which would not otherwise be there. The speaker reminisces about the rhythms of breath "Of a summer's day" and feels lulled, cured of "all my daily ills." The significance of these observations are not lost on this reader. Wonderful use of languages sounds, such as in the third and fourth line above with the liquid double 'll' sounds, as soothing as a lullaby. All that has gone into this poem makes it one of the most powerful imaginable. It puts me on a beach next to an ocean, It swells in time with your breasts, As you exhale. I think the emphasis on "exhale" startled me a bit, because it reminds me that one day there will be a final exhalation. For the loved one in this poem, and for all. We are reminded of the temporality of all relationships, and of the exquisite pain and beauty of fully realized love. The imagery of the beach, ocean and the swelling breasts are so intimately soothing, and one can almost hear the soft sounds of exhalation. And one can weep or be present fully in the moment, grateful for each breath connecting to the next. This brings comfort, In the middle of the night, In the knowledge that you are near. The "middle of the night" is that time when he speaker probably feels most conscious of the fragility of the beloved, needs the reassurance once more of her nearness. These are moments which are absorbed as gifts, you show us here. We are reminded of mortality and the how we are connected, one to another in temporal existence, as long as we are in physical form. Throughout this work, the love which the speaker has for the one who sleeps is the pervasive emotion, along with a sense of mournfulness. This had to be a very difficult poem to write, and your honor readers by sharing it here. We learn from your exquisitely beautiful writing to cherish those we love NOW. You show us how 'now' is truly the only time we have. I feel the warmth of your body, As I would the sun on the shore. "sun on the shore" evokes thoughts of cool seas, or flowing rivers - times and places when warmth is most welcome. This phrase evokes sunrise and sunset, and arriving at a place of safety and warmth after a journey. The poem continues to build in intensity from first line to last. And all this is brought to me, within our bedroom door. Again, the image evoked for me speaks to a leave-taking or arrival - a "door" is something one enters or leaves. The speaker is well aware of the transitory nature of these moments. You have written a magnificent work, Stephen, one which is unforgettably stamped on my consciousness. Thank you for your willingness to share this incredibly personal work here - it invites all who read to comprehend what is so often easily taken for granted. You allow us to see the immensity of your love and longing. I am very humbled by a poem which completely knocks the wind out of me, as I continue think about its meaning. Bravo! All my best, Joanne

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