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This Poem was Submitted By: Erzahl Leo M. Espino On Date: 2003-08-11 23:57:39 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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japanese verse 21 (Prayer)

Two palms together Touching the heart of Heaven For manna to fall

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-09-07 22:12:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
Two palms together Touching the heart of Heaven For manna to fall The first two lines work wonderfully well. The third line is lovely in its idea , but gramatically it seems to lack a verb - I know "praying": is implied, but it needs a little more verb intention, at least for me - for the poem to be a complete thought. Excellent visual and profound subject make this a gem that just needs a little shining.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-09-01 22:46:02
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.29167
Erzahl, Prayer is exactly this: "Two palms together Touching the heart of Heaven For manna to fall" what a wonderful Haiku! The imagry is great. I'm not surprised, you are the expert on Haiku! This is so great because prayer isn't just putting your palms together and talking to God. To touch Gods heart is something. HE loves his children and if you pray within his will great things will can happen. That is the message I get from this. Blessings, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-08-26 14:25:23
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Ezahl, you know the allagiation of plagerism was not possible, and you stated what you had to, and that's good. None of us ever thought the claim was valid, for you write with a purity of heart, and are truly a Gentleman Poet. Enough said, people usually don't have facts to back what they say up, and this person is a jerk, and in this world are many jerks. No name listed, did this person think his claim would be accepted. I think not, so they hid behind the anonmyus handle. You do write with a purity and this haiku I will consider Western style, the count is tradition reqire for correct count, and it is measured and flows your wonderful intention. Foe indeed we all await the manna, and heaven is the ultimate goal, Manna could apply to just heavenly food, but it also can mean the goodness of heart, and two hands together in prayer, shows the belief. It's a calming poem, and easily conveys what so many artists capture in their paintins of the trul believe in the creator, and peace and tranquily can be reached in supplation of that belief, your poem more then captures that for me. It's a poem to be remembered for the purity of thoughts, yours. You never fail to capture a reader, and you are indeed a haiku poet, congratulation on another wonderful entry. Best regard, and descrimination may reign in some people, but never, never in mine. I think your participation here has been nothing but a plus, so you keep writing and creating sensation, you are a Master at it. Jo Morgan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2003-08-14 08:19:03
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.50000
I'm assuming "manna" refers to the god of nature or life force as legend holds it. This reference is a nice touch. This haiku is simple and to the point, yet elegantly worded. I like the title, it adds to the poem. Good job. - Brandon

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-08-13 19:25:13
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.75000
Erzahl, I should be the last person on earth to comment on this. I like the image and point. I think I would have used Reaching instead of "Touching". It just seems more prayer like to me. But what do I know? I am enjoying the challenges of Haiku more and more. I wrote three today waiting for my husband while he was at an appointment. Observing the unsuspecting passer-byers is a great source of inspiration.

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