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PEACE AND SO MUCH MORE What do you mean you are so lonely and alone? Do you not see the busload of people in your head? The girl that sits in front, her paten leather shoes, Stomping now and then, in case you didn’t notice, Her crossed and rigid arms, below her frowned down face. What do you mean you can’t stop talking in your head? Do you not hear the sound of flowing river bends? The music bubbles make, while clinging to the stones, Bobbing up and down, rocking as they go, Popping now and then, in syncopated time. What do you mean I’m far from peace and joy? How do you count your days, the way you’ve always done, Remembering the passed, as if it were in stone, Creating now from then, a girl without a choice, Back against the wall? Your cell is all your own. What would it mean to live outside an aching head? And how would you survive no frantic pace inside? You ever lost your way, while driving down a road, Or gazed in someone’s eyes, until they were no more, Or read a book and found, your mind completely still? And this is what I mean. If silent long enough, You’ll hear the angles sing, The kinds of things they bring, A friend who’s always there, The song a river sings, The waking of the grass, the waves along the shore, The fading of the passed, then peace, and so much more. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: Brandon Gene Petit On Date: 2003-09-04 15:03:24
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.28205
Peace does not come easy to busy and cluttered mind ; I connect with the character in this
poem as one who "lives inside his head." The narrator, I presume to be one of the character's
inner "voices", persuades the character to clear his mind and listen to the world around
him ...... notably the peace of nature. He is usually preoccupied with his thoughts and
worries, oblivious to the living world and its characters. The reference to the babbling
brook and its bubble "clinging to stones" is a nice description, as there are quite a few
in this poem. Good work; intriguing!
- Brandon