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This Poem was Submitted By: Paul R Lindenmeyer On Date: 2003-09-07 19:52:04 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Crucible Of The Towers

Spilling over......... In abundance..... Personified..... "No greater love......." most noble of human traits. and sustain that and again and again, again and again those stairways who go up To all "Tower One is collapsing!!" The radio squawks back, "We're on the 31st floor!" The leader shouts, and another. and another and another then up another starways, smoke filled shaking dark Up From the bottom up.

Additional Notes:
This is posted yearly in memory of the heros not only of 9/11, but all who offer their lives daily so others might live in safety and peace.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-10-07 22:28:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63889
Hi Paul, what a seemingly effective structure that applied in here. I can liken the structure of an airlplane that cause the painfully tremendous event that once chocked the whole world! Or I think this one seems to symbolize the stairways of the Towers that you remarkably emphasized. But the real essence of the poem is seen in the significance of your purpose: to commemorate the the heroes behind that event! And as you mentioned also for those who offer their lives daily so others might live in safety and peace. Great! The way you presented is full of thrill and suspense portraying the event lively. It's like giving all the live imageries in a video! Of course, that is appreciated very much! The second stanza of the center input has all it says to thrill and give the suspense. I can think of the movie Titanic but the 9/11 is more gruesome! I could not think of any way to improve this seemingly perfect piece to reinforce the theme. Oops, one trivial thing, "stairways" is mispelled in the second mention. Maybe, because you are also thrilled while you were writing this! It is not a big deal though! Thank you very much for sharing. Maybe, this is my last critique for the month of September. Im glad I had the chance to read and critique this significant piece! Best regards, Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-28 21:51:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47619
Dear Paul, This piece is so chilling and to know that it is a reality is also chilling. I was getting ready to go to work on 9-11 when I heard the sounds of disbelief in the t.v. announcer's voices after the first plane hit. What you have written here is a grimm reminder of that horrible day and you have written it in such a way that I felt all those feelings of turmoil all over again. I now have a grandson in Iraq so the war touches all of us even though we felt so safe before that day. On 9-10 if someone had told me all these things would transpire I would have thought they had taken leave of their senses. Thank you for posting this important account of that eventful day.... lest we forget. I hope to read more of your work. Peace...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Duane J Jackson On Date: 2003-09-21 02:28:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Paul! 9/11 was not a day warmed by presidents, prime ministers, kings, queens or even rock stars and hollywood actors. It belonged to a class of people we often take for granted - the unsung heroes of everyday living. They don't appear on t.v looking stately and beautiful, they can't be heard on grammy award winning records.......they are among us waiting for the call of duty. The firemen, policemen and the many others who volunteered to risk their lives in the interest of others shone even brighter than the sun. This imaginatively crafted poem pays tribute not only to those who answered the call of humanity on that fateful day but to all those who serve us on a daily basis by laying their lives on the altar of self - sacrifice. The poem interestingly starts from the bottom up and symbolises a flight of steps in keeping with the journey our heroes made from the bottom to the upper floors of the towers.In fact, on reading this poem, the tempo does give us the effect of ascending. Every step up, brings forth the feelings of anticipation, gloom, murk and devastation, eventually resulting in the radio shouting back with fear, at the leader of the squad. "Tower one is collapsing!!". Death. But wait, there is another flight of steps to come and I'm glad the poet added this. This next flight could symbolise an ascension to heaven but it is also used by the poet as his platform to express his gratefulness to the countless heroes who we hardly ever hear of. Let this next flight of steps also serve as encouragement to all of us who read this fine work, to also climb these very stairs in the name of brotherhood. Wouldn't the world be a better place - a place of "No greater love.....", Personified, In abundance....,,, Spilling over. I'm glad the lines were left open since punctuation at their ends would have halted our heroes rush to their call of sacrifice. This was a very creative piece of work that does justice to its theme. The piece is replete with imagery and audio, thus helping us to gauge the weight of the situation. I have no suggestions as this is compact and well-delivered. Good job!! Duane.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2003-09-11 20:01:27
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Paul, What can one say about a poem like this except that it says what it has to in the way it has to, and that is exactly what it should do. Thank you so very much. As a poet I applaud your use of space for impact and for mirroring what the poem is saying. Rene Ftaley

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-09-09 13:24:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.75000
I am glad that there are a couple of poets who write memorials to that eventful and disasterous day. That is something we should all remember for it touched us all one way or another. As for the poem you have given me the sense of climbing the stairways with the format. You have given me a sense of the rescuers who became the victims. I enjoyed your memorial. In the last stanza I think you meant stairways. Excellent post to bring it back to our minds. Thanks. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-09-09 03:31:39
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Total recall Paul, and very nice to see it posted once again. I remember your first version, and ultimate choice from the bottom up. Once again this poem has an identy of it's own, it belongs to those who fought this fight, many giving up their lives, but also high admiration for those that have replaced them, from the small town to the big city fireman/woman, they do place themselves in jeopardy, from the bottom up, they climb those stairs not knowing what awaits to face not only open flame, but torrid gases emitted from substances now used in manufactured goods, too nunmerous to even list, to possible collasp walls and ceilings, and roofs, going about and doing their duty, to me the bravest of the brave. This poem hasn't lost strength of time diminishing it's value of rememberance. I once again have to say I consider this poem, a wonderful tribute, and instantly I recognized it, and automatically said, how fitting you post it once again. Wonderful line of thought, done in a unique style, replicating a stairwell leading up, up, and in some cases the stairway into heavens paradise. Thanks Paul, probably the one poem that strikes a cord of rememberance in me, where a rush of emotion concerning that dire day, in lives of every citizen of the civilized world. Best regards, just had to comment once again, but I did recognize it instantly, it's a breathing rememberance..Jo Morgan

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-08 11:49:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
And in yearly response from the bottom up these men and women climbed those stairs so others might live and live they did....if not for the brave men and women in uniform that day so many others tragedies would have taken place....the pain and sorrow remains though within our hearts as yet another anniversary comes full term. To those that loss a mother, father, brother, sister, niece, nephew, son, daughter and friend, chaplin not to be forgotten.......firefighter, policeman....our heartfelt thanks and our prayers that those you left behind will somehow come to understand in the years to follow just what actually took place that fateful day for to some we still do not understand.....and the war that followed and the losses incurred even further then.......We honor them all my friend as you do within the lines of this piece. Thank you for posting again so that we might take a moment to reflect and remember. I remember getting ready to celebrate a year of additional life for it was a year to the date that I was dying and underwent open heart surgery.....I cannot tell you my feelings at that point in time for they just seemed to stand still as with all others who could not believe what our eyes were seeing.....be safe, God Bless, Claire

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