This Poem was Submitted By: Mark D. Kilburn On Date: 2003-09-15 16:56:29 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

To Listen to Music While Reading this Poem, just Click Here!

Click Here To add this poem to your "Voting Possibilities" list!

Class and Style

After all the songs have been sung and the band is fast asleep the dancers’ steps are silent too tired to smile or weep. Trash now blows and tumbles past a thousand empty seats broken hearts and ticket stubs are littering the street. They came on early played past late sang all our favorites well worth the wait, made everyone happy each face had a smile the band had class and the crowd had style. When the roadies have carried away all remnants of the last note, being next to you is what really counts you keep me warmer than any old coat. Let the beer cups sadly lay empty trampled on and lost for good; as long as I am next to you I’ll be doing what I should. They came on early played way past late we had perfect seats you made the day long wait, they sang everyone happy sharing their smiles the crowd had class and the band had style. When we’re having fun time flies and it’s always too fast for us, I hope you’re not too sad it ended someday we’ll be back on that bus. Tomorrow clean-up crews will come erasing the concerts mess; if by chance you shed a tear I’ll kiss away your stress. They came on early played past late you looked so good walking through the gate, you make me happy so I have to smile the band had class and my wife has style. When the amphitheatre has shut down it must be a lonely place, the trash we leave behind is a sickening disgrace, the band has another show the crowd has things to do, me, I’m up for anything as long as it’s with you. We came so early then stayed so late the band’s now old but they still sound great, you looked so happy with your all-day smile you got a lot of class to go with your style.

Copyright © September 2003 Mark D. Kilburn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-05 15:24:29
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.54839
Great poem, I like the words and phrases you have used in this poem. I look at this as being a musical presentation of thought expressing love and the music of the heart. My only suggestions are in regard to the eight line stanza's, I felt that if you had broken them into four lines each you would not have lost flow but gained grater impact to this reader. I really like how you ended this poem with showing that age has occurred telling me that this poem encompasses the time spent with each other. Nicely done Mark. Thanks for sharing. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-10-03 10:35:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.86207
Hi Mark, I enjoyed this poem in as much as I enjoyed watching the bands in our local show! This piece serves as your indelible memory with your wife. It's like a biography that all the informations of your life together are printer. It's like a history book that puts every detail of your happiness as well as the feeling of sadness when this band is not showing. It's also like a theme song cherishing your days with all the delight that you experience until now! Class and Style? This is an intriguing title! Firstly, you mentioned, the band had class and the crowd had style. Secondly, it is vice versa, the crowd had class and the band had style. And in the third mentioning, you have associated your wife to go with the band not with the crowd anymore, the band had class and my wife has style. And in the fourth and last mention, it's all for your wife, you got a lot of class to go with your style! I like the way you associated things here with the idea of the class and the style! Very interesting! You started the piece with a seemingly forlorn imagery when the band was finished performing that you could no longer hear the joyous songs and dancer's steps became silent. I like it to be like that! It suggests that without this things in your life, there is a little dullness and the the real meaning is missing. But oh, the use of the rhyming scheme is remarkable like the second, and the fifth lines rhyme with the fourth and the eight lines respectively! This is a good point because it somehow lessens the imagery of dullness. And the rhyming scheme seems to give a nice cadence in the rest of the stanzas reinforcing the idea of the band, the dancing and the singing! You really have the style and the class, poet! The second stanza starts to flare up the imagery of joy that brings the smile to everyone's face because now the the band had class and the crowd had style. Great! I can just pick up some of the lines that have wonderful alliterations: They came on early played past late -the p sound is working nicely here sang all our favorites well worth the wait, -'w' is wonderfully alliterating! There are other alliterations you used that reinforced the happy imagery. And again, this poem has a class and I have the style! SMILE! I am really chuckling at this moment! And oh, real essence of happiness is being depicted in both of you! I can sene the inspiration and enligtening thoughts in these lines: being next to you is what really counts you keep me warmer than any old coat. Very lovely and sweet! And here: if by chance you shed a tear I’ll kiss away your stress Oh, I think I already have a very long input here, poet! You might be bored in reading my critiques at this moment. I just could not skip every detail of my reaction to this artistry. Excuse me for that! Anyway, I really enjoyed this. Thank you so much for sharing! This poem really have a class, a taste! And I just have a style! Jordan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-17 19:54:28
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.09091
Mark, I enjoyed reading this as it moved along with simple images of a snap shot in time. The concert's end and the increased enjoyment of your wife's companionship is quite lovely. You state in a very matter of fact, but poetic way, how you love her still. Concerts may come and go, life will bring its offers, rebates or credit, but your relationship is a homecoming for class and style. I really enjoyed the pace and tight descriptions of your offerings as it progressed to the conclusion. It made me feel joy for your returning to another place in time with the concert, but with the excitement of mature love. The surroundings of excitement, music and memories were visual and the afterglow real including the trash. It reminded me of a open concert my husband and I went to in Boston. They are so much fun when it is a "blast from the blast" band. The memories of youth pour out in conversation that breaks you away from your daily lives. A most enjoyable read. The warmer than old coat, taking the bus again and repeated stanza format added to the pace and flow. A few punctuation pauses may improve some of the images. For example, "When we are having fun, time flies and..." To me it might put more emphasis on the fun time. Also, after the "I hope your...ended" line. It is a ggod place to stop and take it in. Only a suggestion. I mentally put them there. Rumor has it, I just might be a mental case (lol). If you remember correctly...I think, I started that rumor. (tee hee) I truly enjoyed this. I am new and this seems like a different format from you. I must admit, I haven't gone back to compare. This is just an "short term" observation...it comes with the aging process. Thanks for sharing this one, guy!!!! Now aren't you sorry you encouraged me? (lol) My very best regards, Andrea
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-15 18:30:57
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.62500
Hi Mark, What a musical and fun poem this is...perfect to describe a concert, the music, the theater, the band, and of course your lovey wife. This poem should be read aloud to music as you have poetically given it a melody to go with the words...not an easy things to do but you have done it ever so well. The ebb and flow of the rhyme is perfect and the repetition of the 2nd, 4th, 6th and 8th, stanzas is perfect. Musically speaking 'the refrain.' The imagery of the empty seats and the trash litering the streets is great. Never went to a concert that I didn't see this very sight....."they came on early, played past last" is musical all on it's own. The tribute to your wife is sentimental and one that I am sure she just loves. Thanks for sharing your night out to see the condert with us. Peace...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-15 18:30:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.80000
Mark I just love the lighthearted feeling one gets with this read......and the memories it brings forth to my mind of a few concerts I attended both in my youth and just a few years back......I was fortunate in that I saw Elvis when he visited Providence, Rhode Island.......the seats were grand and the crowd had style but so did the performer....grand style as he sang one hit song after the other.........he died the following year........I saw Bobby Vinton once at a dinner show with my in-laws and that was pretty neat....different in form but still very classy......my mother in law was besides herself when he came up to our table and sung.....Kenny Rogers I have seen a few times and he always performs in great style and his voice touches my heart........he also does a wonderful Christmas show which I have seen twice.....sat in the second row from the stage and boy he was that close.......the last to mention being George Strait.......loved his movie Pure Country and the songs within that piece so I was besides myself when he came to the Centrum in Worcester and the hubby said we could go....I so love country music and all performers no one in particular other then Kenny, George and a few more......so this poem of yours certainly has hit home.......structured very well, words flowing as the river before it bringing with it the joys one finds when they are at home......like the was you repeat certain words throughout as well and this gives it a musical effect as well. Thanks for posting and for allowing this reader to go back in time and to share with you what brought joy to her heart when she was young, in love with Steven (first hubby) and have tucked these memories deep wtihin the lining of my heart. Be safe my friend and I look forward to your next poem.....God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Darlene A Moore On Date: 2003-09-15 18:03:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.53846
Reading through this it almost seemed like I was reading the lyrics of a song, kind of a country western style song with choruses...yours varying just a bit from stanza to stanza...a wistfulness and tenderness pervades the poem. Thanks for the posting. no suggestions for any changes.
Poetry Contests Online at The Poetic Link

Click HERE to return to ThePoeticLink.com Database Page!