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This Poem was Submitted By: Judy A Badger On Date: 2003-09-18 13:51:42 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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The Passing

She was ready. And He wanted her, needed her to come home on wings of a lifetime of believing and heartfelt good deeds. He gave her the map, she followed it precisely. She was ready. But not I. I need her still, want her to come home with a smile that belies the joke, and not be gone anymore. He won't change His mind, send her back, can't. She was only on loan here, we all are. I search my soul, my motives for wishing things weren't what they are, seek the miracle that should be there. I miss her. He missed her too. It is His turn to walk with her, comfort her, care for her for eternity. And I will see her again in time, complete, a joyous reunion. Therein lies the miracle.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-07 23:20:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.46154
The passing of a loved one possibly a mother or aunt. You made me stay with this poem from beginning to end. What I like most was how final the physical aspect was but the door was left open for the spirit. My only suggestion is in the presentation and it is only this readers opinion; if there were breaks within the lines it would have given me time to pause. Thanks for sharing your precious moments of life with us. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-10-02 17:29:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.15385
Judy, to begin with I want to extend my sincere condolences on your loss. It is in the memories that we find peace and come to accpetence of Gods will. I wish you many heartwarming memories to keep you insulated from the coldness of your loss. This is a very personal piece and says some very important truths. Right off the bat that grabs my heart and wrenches it. I am guessing this is about your Mother and since I lost my Mom 6 years ago, this poem puts me in the thick of it very quickly. Even though we know that it is Gods will and that our loved one is with Him now in paradise, it is still hard to not be able to experience the day to day sharing of love. Only a mother can soothe our hurts, build us up, or correct us when we are wrong. But you're right. It will be a joyous reunion. Therein lies the miracle. So true! The cycle of life has amazing highes and lows doesn't it? I seem to remember critiquing another of your poems called "Grand" about your grandchild, that was exquisite. Many blessings to you, Jennifer

This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-09-30 11:00:32
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.96000
The Passing She was ready. And He wanted her, needed her to come home I think that if the title were something else - it would be even more powerful to read these words and to suddenly realize where it was the woman was going and how much was being offered - heaven itself on wings of a lifetime of believing and heartfelt good deeds. He gave her the map, she followed it precisely. Perhaps - "he had given her the map - she was following it precisely.." to make her journey on earth continuous with her journey of passing? She was ready. But not I.[me ] When it is the object of a verb it is conventional to replace "I" with "me" I need her still, want her to come home with [her] smile that belies the joke, and not be gone anymore. "not be gone anymore" is a wonderful poignant construction He won't change His mind, send her back, can't.[Can't - is interesting - theologically] She was only on loan here, we all are. I search my soul, my motives for wishing things weren't what they are, seek the miracle that should be there. I miss her. He missed her too. It is His turn to walk with her, comfort her, You raise some fascinating theological questions - such as - would someone in an afterlife need "comforting?" I love when a poem makes us think as this one does. care for her for eternity. And I will see her again in time, complete, [interesting word choice!} a joyous reunion. Therein lies the miracle. Indeed! I really like this piece Judy it is heartfelt, and theologically complex and the language is beautiful

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-09-22 07:31:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.55556
A universal poem on death and life after.....indeed there is life after death and your poem does allow the reader to see and feel a glimpse of it within the lines.......His turn to walk with her, care for her through eternity........and yes you will be there with her again and you will be able to hold her, touch her, walk with her, laugh and cry with her......for it all awaits you as it did her......life is a journey we travel each day beginning with our birth and ending in our death and those are the only two things we do alone in life......we are born and we die......and when you stop and think about it we come from God and we return to Him that sent us forth....what a journey indeed. I take it you speak of your mom within these lines and if not then perhaps a child....for who do we miss more then the above two other then a spouse and dear friend.......I am sorry for your loss in either situation poet but I know she is watching over you from above and she smiles down on you each day......and when you take that early morning walk think of her when the birds begin to sign and you will feel her presence within your life again. Be safe, thank you for posting and sharing these emotions and thoughts with us.....God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Gwenne D. Betner On Date: 2003-09-18 21:12:36
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Dear Judy, “The Passing” is a hauntingly beautiful piece. We all are on “loan” and as much as we want to grieve being left behind we should rejoice that we are going home to be with Him. You so poignantly and elegantly portray this in your work. It is a quandary and you must have penned this with a heavy heart. But your beautiful ending “complete with a joyous reunion” gives “The Passing” it’s strength and a message for us all to be strong when it comes our turn to grieve the loss of those we so deeply love. It is a miracle. God Bless You. Gwenne

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-09-18 16:14:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.71429
My heart really feel the emotion that you have presented here, Judy. It is very poignant that I can relate it. It is really very sad that one of our loved ones will be taken away from us with the grace of God. Sometimes we could not accept the reality of PASSING, but it is the truth that we are loan here on earth. That each one of us has its own time, time to live and time to be taken out from the world, sad to note. We just have to be ready all the time. Anyway, so much for the sad thoughts, I like the way you presented the thoughts because I just feel that the thoughts are presented in a lovely manner. I mean you used descriptions that one can feel inspiration, enlivining amidst the sad emotion. Don't you know that I am also thinking that the girl in the story is going to be married already and that the groom is gonna take her away from your home and they will begin to create a new home themselves. Like you are the mother and your daughter is going to leave because she is to be united to a man who will take care of her till there is life. I really admire the way you click the words into place. And He wanted her, needed her to come home on wings of a lifetime of believing - I can think more that the girl is to be wed rather that to be taken away from this world. And this is a good point. You made it to the point that it is all in lovely thoughts. I like the idea here, 'He gave her the map, she followed it precisely.' The use of map is very apt to describe that the girl (your daughter)is doing good deeds that you are sure enough that God is pleased about it. And the another idea would come up when speaking about map, is that even how strange is the place for her (even how hard it is to be like Christ) but she followed the right way. 'with a smile that belies the joke' - a very nice imagery is created here! It is His turn to walk with her, comfort her, care for her for eternity. This is very lovely that I am thinking of a man taking his bride away from the mother of parents. It is just very lovely and it is a good strength of the poem. All you simple yet lovely ideas just flow smoothly and lovely and seems to bring inspiration until you come up with a very lovely and inspiring ending:And I will see her again in time, complete, a joyous reunion. Therein lies the miracle. It is a miracle that we believe in to be true! Very elegant and enlivining last input. Thank you very much for sharing, Judy. All my best, Jordan

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-09-18 16:07:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.54545
Hi Judy, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother, a burden that you will carry the rest of your life, but it will get lighter as time passes. I took care of my mother for six years until she passed away at the age of 91. When she turned 90 she told me that she was tired, had done this long enough (life) and just wanted it to be over. I was still not prepared for her to actually die but as this poem points..once He makes that decision he does not take it back...."He gave her the map, she followed it precisely"..the is a good line to begin this piece. ..."she was ready but not I"...I know every child feels this emotion when losing a parent....you just want her to come home and "not be gone anymore" I love that line. Then the poem speaks of how God needed her too and she was only on loan and it is His turn to walk with her and comfort her. In the end..."a joyous reunion, therein lies the miracle." You have used good words here to express yourself and the emotion you still feel at the loss of your mother. But in the end you rationalize it by telling yourself you will see her again someday...and that you will. I have no nits for this poem..it comes from your soul and you should not change a word of it. Blesssings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-18 15:40:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.00000
Judy, This is beautiful. I am a mother who lost a child. I don't know if you saw my post. I will email if you like. The simple truth of the "loan" is so true, but such a big pill to swallow. I remember saying the same words to my mother and father at his funeral. I said, "I knew he was a loaner, but I didn't know the note was for only 5 years". I totally agree with the joyous reunion and draw strenght from it. Honestly, I await the same. Our feelings are merged into the same heart here. I appriciate the verses with a watery view. Your images comfort me, as I "need him still". A wonderful impression of a future journey. Andrea

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