This Poem was Submitted By: Rick Barnes On Date: 2003-09-21 22:42:43 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Straight At It

Straight at it. You don’t have to take aim, you simply go straight at it in exactly the same way you have lived your life thus far. All of the voices  of your past choices call out to you from where you are saying simply, go straight at it and know that right and wrong are a matter of vision, your view of these things becomes your decision, and your vista was chosen a long time ago. So, now it is time to simply go, straight at it.

Copyright © September 2003 Rick Barnes

This Poem was Critiqued By: Thomas H. Smihula On Date: 2003-10-07 22:57:15
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.45098
Rick I enjoyed this poem of direction and the flow. It makes the reader see the poets viewpoint clearly about making decisions. My favorite part is where you talk about a matter of vision, but that is actually the only area that I had some difficulty with on flow but only momentarily. Without changing the words this reader thought that if you broke two lines apart it would be smoother in that area. Example: that right and wrong are a matter of vision your view of things becomes your decision The only other suggestion might be the title if gives the reader to much of the thought without reading. Maybe if it were 'The Direction' or 'What Direction?' Excellent in rhyme that is something I like to also see. Job well done. Tom

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2003-10-06 12:01:43
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.47826
Rick, good philosophy for living. Sometimes the events in our lives cause us to want to skirt an issue or ignore it and hope it goes away. But we know deep down that when we do that, we stick our heads in the sand. Because issues will still be there until we deal with them. And if you don't stand up for what you believe, well, life gets less pretty all the time. In honesty, I know someone who is having issues right now whom with I intend to share this poem. So thanks for giving me the opportunity to do so. Nice rhyming and doesn't get in the way of the message. I do look forward to having your poems on my list. They are always heartfelt messages and I love that. Blessings, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2003-10-04 17:07:52
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rick-o: Nearly at the end of September choices and something feels amiss in Mell's head. (Not an unusual occurence). Voila! I realized I hadn't reviewed any of Rick's poems. When I read this, I fell in love all over again....like the time I read about the man and the river. (River Song?) This is about as close to perfection as a poet can get. Your form, meter, rhyme... all the technical aspects....are 100% perfect. Then, the theme. I greatly admire and always try to be a straight-at-it person. People who are passive- agressive or have an agenda drive me insane. "Straight at it. You don't have to take aim, ....says much with a dearth of words..... you simply go straight at it in exactly the same way you have lived you life thus far." I like your philosophy and how you approach life. Shoot from the hip, I always say. "All of the voices of your past choices call out to you from where (they?) are simply saying, go straight at it and know that right and wrong are a matter of vision, your view of these things becomes your decision, and your vista was chosen a lone time ago. So, now it is time to simply go, straight at it." This is exquisite to the end line. You even have the endorsements of your past actions and supposedly the persons involved. I agree that "right and wrong are a matter of vision" and I really like the use of vision, view, vista. I find nothing to criticize, places to offer suggestions, words or comments for change. You have left me speechless. If the contest were just, I think you said in one of your crits; it's not and it's sad that this is not the #1 poem. I mean this truly, my friend. A laurel wreath, Mell-o
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-10-02 08:43:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.44928
Wow poet there are many things we can go straight at especially at this time of our life.......are you middle age yet? has your path long been set? did you might want to try and add or take away from and perhaps change a direction or two? have we not all tried to avoid the ending? Perhaps but in reality we are all heading straight for it......love the read, the thoughts presented allowing each reader to take the flow and go........to me this represents thoughts concerning the closure of one's life for that is where we all are heading from the day we were born.....straight at it.....so to speak with your own words as well and just remember no matter what road one takes it all leads to the same place a place no one can avoid no matter what....I know the vision I once had did not turn out the way I dreamed it would so I began a new quest for my ending and now here I find myself with hopefully many more years to come and go but again, that is up to God and not I......a second chance He gave me and if I mess up them oops.......I best be goig straight at it.....hehehe......the most important thing I think is that we keep a pure heart no matter what direction we find ourself in.....we harbor no hard feelings towards anyone that can harm either of us in the end and that we are not of greed for greed does make this world more in many directions that are not good......I know the less I have the more I enjoy life.......there are days I wish I were alone though and then perhaps my direction might be a bit different but it does not matter for now it is where I am supposed to be so I continue on straight at it and hope someday I made the right choice.......interesting read my friend.......I see you are on the list of favorites......good job and where good poets should be....take care now and be safe, good luck with the contest.....God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne Duval Morgan On Date: 2003-10-01 18:04:05
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.82143
Great Rick, this is a philosophy I have lived my life by, it's results in a honorable approack, of tolorance for others, with the diversity of us as people all we can use is this path of fate, realizing the diversity that some times makes the difference in approach, the brains reality is the choices that we live by in a comfortable mindset, knowing that we have never done anything overt to hurt of take adavantage of other, respect for all living breathing beings, with a viewpoint of the beauty that one can see, iff they tahey take the time to see, a great philosophy, it hasn't even gotten me in jeopardy, at 64 the peace and tranquility I experience each day, is proff positive, decisions made along the way are what, oh we may make mistakes, and they are well intented as long as we remember the lesson, and never make those mistakes again, regardless of what arena we are in at whatever point we are in our lives, and it's never to late to go straight at purpose, never selfish, always aware of implication on others. Your dialogue is straight foreward, carries the intent, and you have managed beautifully to capture the internal rhyme, lending to great rhythm in the read. Love it when you post, I can'tuhelp but feel a matual bonding, for everything you've submitted makes one introspective...Great job...Best regards Jo Morgan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Drenda D. Cooper On Date: 2003-09-25 13:54:22
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
Rick, I loved this poem..so philosophical, yet pragmatic, and so true and HHEEHEE! "straightforward".. It is all so simple if thought of in this way...Part of my doldrums, depressions, and all worries come from either too much assessing (and obsessing) of past mistakes, too many playbacks of what cannot be undone, and too much wondering whether the next step will be the right one...most of life spent in misery is from not just going ahead and living it as you say, "straight at it".. We all realize that we only have this moment--intellectually we realize it--but so many of us are dwelling either in the past or the future, that we miss the NOW which is truly moment to moment all that we really have. What a joy life is when lived in the NOW....And, as far as being afraid to make a mistake...if we simply "go straight at it"..the mistake is that fear and that fear is the mistake...IT is true still that we learn from our mistakes..we learn that we have the capacity to keep making them over and over..and worry does not make that go away..it just ruins our enjoyment of the happiness we have when we forget fear... "All of the voices of your past choices call out to you from where you are saying simply, go straight at it and know that right and wrong are a matter of vision, your view of these things becomes your decision, and your vista was chosen a long time ago. I absolutely loved the rhythm and flow of this , notwithstanding the complexity of the simplicity of the philosophy involved, it is so true, and I agree wholeheartedly...We can certainly keep on learning as long as we breathe, but what we feel about what we learn is more or less a matter of our "chosen vistas"-- Today is day one of my NOW and my decisions living in it are based on my view of it as it passes (based on the course set by my past choices).......Great line breaks and rhyme scheme all the way thru this one. After reading your words, I felt a bit absolved of guilt with a sense of release and renewed resolve to "simply go straight at it.." Time's awastin'!!!!..........enjoyed........drenda
This Poem was Critiqued By: Joanne M Uppendahl On Date: 2003-09-22 17:21:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Rick: After this poem, I realized that you've just eliminated all of my excuses for procrastinating. Once more, I have the eerie feeling that you wrote this poem for me, or I am discovering it in a dream as a not-so-cryptic answer to my constant questions and objections (re: everything). It is as if the poem lived inside my head and reading it now, I thought it. It is an "of course" kind of experience. A bit like seeing the ocean for the first time. It is an answer or reply to fear, consternation, stalling, anxiety, perfectionism, ambivalence. But it scares me, honestly. I have no more fiddling around to do; once having heard the truth, I am now responsible for recognizing it and acting upon that recognition. I DO realize, Rick, that this is your poem, your 'aha' which can't be mine, that I read it and I can comment now and move on, and read something else, and still put off knowing that you are absolutely correct in saying -- "So, now it is time, to simply go, straight at it." And how you present these excuse-shattering profundities in poetic form, in a way that could be enjoyed by anybody happening by, not necessarily someone stuck in a quandary of indecision or incomplete actions, or simple sloth, I don't know. That is beyond me. I don't know where you came from - where did you come from? <huge smile> Straight at it. You don’t have to take aim, you simply go straight at it in exactly the same way you have lived your life thus far. All of the voices of your past choices call out to you from where you are saying simply, go straight at it and know that right and wrong are a matter of vision, your view of these things becomes your decision, and your vista was chosen a long time ago. I could stop here and comment on "voices/vision/view/vista" or the satisfying rhyme of "vision/decision" and I will. But I am stalling, because my mouth is dry and my heart is beating faster, knowing that by reading this, I have, in a sense, been notified. A cosmic idea which puts my 'feet to the fire' or is it another part of the anatomy? Oh, man oh man. Now what? Where can I hide? I've been found out and publicly displayed. Because you are right - my "vista was chosen/ a long time ago." Would you believe that I am literally scared by the truth in this piece? I don't want to read anything else today, because I don't want to dilute this poem's effect on me with other words. "your view. . .becomes your decision." See what I mean about truth! You have just changed my view to "straight on" and now my decision is before me. No one else but you! How do you do this? "So, now it is time to simply go, straight at it." OK -- something *will* come of this. Besides being an excellent poem, it has a powerful diuretic effect on this reader. (Forgive me!) All my best, Joanne
This Poem was Critiqued By: Dawn Parker On Date: 2003-09-22 13:52:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Rick, What an inspiring poem...the message "Straight At It" is beautiful! Could be as commercial as Nike's "Just Do It"! I enjoyed how you cleverly crafted this piece. The way you rearranged the message "simply go" three different ways was very effective. You impart such a "knowing" with your words...that there is no need to aim, the power is in just beginning. There is a subtle truth disclosed with "your vista was chosen a long time ago" that is extremely empowering to the reader and inspires trust and a letting go of the worry and possibly regret from past choices. How right and wrong are simply perspectives and the judgement of these originates from within. That there is a destiny and purpose to it all... I just loved where this poem took me... the imagery was superb! I especially liked "All the voices, of your past choices, call out to you from where you are" as if those aspects of your Self are in a place of elevated understanding and are fully supporting the smaller You in moving forward. I envisioned them as being a sort of cheering section, changed by the experiencial growth of the past. Wonderful...simply wonderful! I really enjoyed this, thank you for sharing! My best, Dawn Parker
This Poem was Critiqued By: Rachel F. Spinoza On Date: 2003-09-22 10:48:08
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.90000
Hi, Rick! Interesting philosophy! Straight at it. You don’t have to take aim, you simply go straight at it in exactly the same I like the odd rhyme pattern and the rhythms of this piece way you have lived your life thus far. All of the voices of your past choices call out to you from where you are very dramatic scene setting! saying simply, go straight at it and know that right and wrong are a matter of vision, ah..., but whose? This poem would start many a fireside conversation that would last long into the night your view of these things becomes your decision, yes.... and your vista was chosen a long time ago. interesting play on words of vision/vista So, now it is time to simply go, straight at it. Enigmatic and wise, this poem is so much deeper than its light lilting mood suggests. No corrections noted from this pedant. Excellent piece, Rick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie Spicer On Date: 2003-09-22 00:38:56
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Rick, Right on! I have been trying for so long to find the deep, dark demons within me, which are mine and no others, and I have to go straight at it! I can’t depend on someone to figure out the why’s, the what’s, the if’s, the shame, the trauma, just for my life, as we have all lived our own. You face life, you don’t turn from it, regardless of what it appears to look like ahead. The way you have emphasized “straight at it”, it makes me wish I had someone who had there face in my face telling me this in no uncertain terms over 3 years ago when my memory returned. The demons can’t hurt me, I will aim straight at them and go for it, just as you have said. No therapist could say it better, God says it perfectly, if we would only listen, we need to go for it and not be afraid of it. The past choices may have been righteous or corrupt, and even if we had thought we made a good choice and it turned out for evil’s sake, we have to walk on. Whether someone things I am a bad person because these men long ago did what they did, well, it is not my problem any longer. I know that I did the best I could, made the most worthy choice I could, and yes, I paid dearly, but now it is time to get with it, go forward, go straight at it and them. The vision of others should never blind ourselves, for we all come out with versions that seem to fit what we want. Just in this poem, you maybe speaking of many different aspects of life, but to me, you speak with power, wisdom, command, and tell “me” to go straight at it, go for it, it is my decision and no others, and I can drive the demons away. You told me that many years ago, but I couldn’t hear you and now I can hear you loud and clear, at least for my version of what I hear from this poem. Our lives were planned before time and now I can use bad for good, and as I continue to grow in wisdom, I will realize that it was you that said these cherished and forcefully written words to give me the power to go forth. It is all in our OWN DECISION! RIGHT? GO STRAIGHT AT IT, BRO! Thank you for your mighty voice, and I chose this poem to be mine, even if someone else does as well, for it is MY DECISION! Right? Love ya, Debbie
This Poem was Critiqued By: Andrea M. Taylor On Date: 2003-09-21 23:36:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.18182
Rick, Pearls of wisdom found in the oyster bed of life!!! How simple and true, yet, we all will try and second guess our past knowledge. I really like the "All of voices...past voices" lines. It went straight at it. I really enjoyed this generic message. It begs for a rerread just to absorb the wonderful matter of factness to it. It is like the "Little Train that could" for grown ups. It is written for a subjective viewing and each reader will get from it what he/she may need. A universal guide while stumbling through the unknow territory of life. No suggestions. Thanks. Andrea
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