This Poem was Submitted By: C Arrownut On Date: 2003-11-11 19:42:17 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Changing of the Satans

At the end of her long tunnel into death, she found a black light, so brilliant all could be seen.  A voice boomed: “To the furnace shoveling bones like the rest of your sex.” An indignant No! So the evil principle, once Hitler, and she, a serial killer, dueled, Hades-style.  Who would possess the other?  It worried not, a woman had never won.  Teeth gnashed and eyes exploded.  Long into the centuries of night they fought. Barnacles invaded, retreated, until both sides lost breath, but refused a truce while the darkness stood still…in awe of her vile strength and cunning intellect. Chaos erupted, for no one tended evil in the garden of the universe. The balance with the good eroded. Finally, It blinked once. She pressed on, and in that moment, seized his last strand of hair. Then clutched in a death grip until decades later when Its strength ebbed and she, she became the first female to ascend to the it. Then men shoveled coal.

Copyright © November 2003 C Arrownut

Additional Notes:
This is the last poem in a collection about a female serial killer--birth through death. I added a few details and hope it is understandable alone. All comments welcome. C.

This Poem was Critiqued By: madge B zaiko On Date: 2003-12-04 23:35:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I definately like this piece! I feel like there was more you wanted to say with it though at the end? It feels almost abrupt in comparison to the detailed begining. My critique would be to try and even that abruptness out or if that is a choice, then to make it more pronounced. Very interesting idea though!! I love the image of the fight.

This Poem was Critiqued By: April Rose Ochinang Claessens On Date: 2003-11-18 04:20:18
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.00000
hi. awesome poetry. i like it. it made me feel our strength as women... “To the furnace shoveling bones like the rest of your sex.” An indignant No! AWESOME! i believe that the line "a woman had never won" is not at all true because a poet, having written a poem as wonderful as this one, this is just one proof that SHE HAS ALREADY have gained my respect through this poem and it is truly awesome. you are a gifted poet.thanks for sharing your work. i desire to read more in the future. take care! april
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-11-15 20:57:48
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.58824
Well my friend this indeed is different from what I am used to reading and I must say I enjoyed it.....good structure, nice word flow, images indeed they do come and go along the way allowing the reader to find what they may within these the way she also spoke out at the devil indicating NO.....she was not like the rest and wanted him to know that from the start....a woman in her own right. ....serial killer or not......this is a good read and I might go and find your other poems to catch on the rest. Thanks for posting and sharing with safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2003-11-14 03:18:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.61538
Here you are once again, C! Would this baffle my mind in getting the gist? I hope not! Your additional notes are there to help me out. SMILE. Changing of the Satans? Your title has a very great impulse! This suggests a significant theme for everybody to reflect on. Ah, the SHE is getting the action here! A serial killer? Yeah, it is believable! Women can do things the men can do even the worst and the EVILEST of all! I like the way you started the piece, it is reinforcing the tone of the poem: "At the end of her long tunnel into death, she found a black light, so brilliant all could be seen." One can think of darkness, evil and the like. I won't give input any further, all I can say, all the actions are highly triggered with all these suspense like "teeth gnashing" and more. It is like I am watching a suspense movies. Your effort here is greatly appreciated. It is hard to come up with this theme. I think I haven't written dark poetry yet. Thanks for sharing, Gayle. Jordan.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Gerard A Geiger On Date: 2003-11-12 11:51:35
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Arrownut; I have read this poem and enjoyed it. The mythical female figure comes alive as a supernatural creature fighting satan for control of the underworld. I assume you are in the process of creating a full story for use, perhaps, as a serial. Your talent is obvious and good....albeit...writing about the dark or evil... Good luck and keep writing, Thanks for the read Gerard
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