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Changing of the Satans At the end of her long tunnel into death, she found a black light, so brilliant all could be seen. A voice boomed: “To the furnace shoveling bones like the rest of your sex.” An indignant No! So the evil principle, once Hitler, and she, a serial killer, dueled, Hades-style. Who would possess the other? It worried not, a woman had never won. Teeth gnashed and eyes exploded. Long into the centuries of night they fought. Barnacles invaded, retreated, until both sides lost breath, but refused a truce while the darkness stood still…in awe of her vile strength and cunning intellect. Chaos erupted, for no one tended evil in the garden of the universe. The balance with the good eroded. Finally, It blinked once. She pressed on, and in that moment, seized his last strand of hair. Then clutched in a death grip until decades later when Its strength ebbed and she, she became the first female to ascend to the it. Then men shoveled coal. |
Additional Notes:
This is the last poem in a collection about a female serial killer--birth through death. I added a few details and hope it is understandable alone. All comments welcome.
C.
This Poem was Critiqued By: madge B zaiko On Date: 2003-12-04 23:35:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
I definately like this piece! I feel like there was more you wanted to say with it though at the end? It feels almost abrupt in comparison to the detailed begining. My critique would be to try and even that abruptness out or if that is a choice, then to make it more pronounced. Very interesting idea though!! I love the image of the fight.