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This Poem was Submitted By: Donna Carter Soles On Date: 2003-11-19 20:21:31 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Root of Evil

It burned and burned Within her heart -- An evil beast Which can destroy a soul. She could not conquer it, or even control it... How she yearned to throw It all away and live in peace. Still, it would not leave: It slowly took control Of her very foolish mind -- It ate her heart, And drank the soul from within her.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Sean Donaghy On Date: 2003-11-29 11:27:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.04167
Donna Lynn - Do we speak of the love of money here? (I think the actual quote is something like: "The love of money is the root of all evil") You express that thought well with very vivid imagery and a nice turn of phrasing. An interesting, thought-provoking poem. Good work! Thanks for the read. Sean

This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2003-11-25 17:26:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25000
Yikes! What a cold sad poem. Gives me the shivers. I'd like to know what was behind this.My one comment is about the structure of using capitals on every line except line 6. You really should start the sentences that are carried over to the next line without capitalization. Anyway, that's my take on it. This poem gives me the shivers and reminds me of the time when I was (guess I still am) a Psychiatric Nurse. I'd like to know more about the line third from the bottom. Thanks for posting.

This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie L Fischer On Date: 2003-11-24 21:15:55
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Donna, I'm guessing this could be one of many emotions..hatred, jealousy, etc. Your poem speaks volumes of regret and inability to change the feelings felt. I believe we all struggle with similiar feelings and it is so hard to try to overcome them. Sadly, it can take control and take your soul along. You say a lot with each thought conveyed, meaningful. Deb:)

This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2003-11-20 15:16:51
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Hi Donna, The evil you speak of must be of horrible status and even though I am not sure of it's name or essence, from the tone of this piece it is unbeatable. I wrote a poem called 'The Demon" which is posted here and it was about a malignant tumor I had many years ago. In that poem I called the tumor 'a malignant beast' so when I read your words I could not help but relate to my own situation. However, I get the feeling that this 'evil' may be of substance abuse which can be the worst beast of all. This is a powerful poem which is written in the thrid person so I think it must be of a friend or loved one. At any rate it is well written and was probably meant to be vague. The last two lines are gut wrenching..."it ate her heart and drank the soul from within her." I wish peace for this suffering person. Blessings...Marilyn

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2003-11-20 07:25:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.61111
One might ask what is her root of evil within the lines my friend.....to sit and ponder one may come up with all sorts of images within the lines.......to some the root of evil is nothing more then a bad thought that does not leave or a form of abuse......whether it is self induced as with drugs, alcohol, money, whatever..... This piece is very sad for it tells me that she lost her battle with the beast within her heart and thus she has been lost for eternity....... structure is good and your words just seem to flow.......they do allow the reader to use their own imagination to bring forth whatever beast within they want.....and in this case I certainly would rather let it go along with her for she is such a tormented soul.......thanks for posting, for sharing this with us and perhaps you might do a sequel and allow the beast some room to leave....just a thought..... Be safe, God Bless, Claire

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