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Looks on Life- The Story from Our Side. Here's a story that I think of when I think of you. About a woman we once knew. When she grew we stomped her dreams. She always thought she was selfish with low self-esteem. We beat her down with all our things. We told her she would never amount to anything. We pushed her away to wear his ring. We always mistreated the poor little thing. She did have a dream- she wanted to paint everything. She was living with a horrible human being. He would never teach her anything. Made her believe he was her everything. Then he planted his seed, but wouldn't help her make it grow. Instead of loving her, he wanted to go. And when he did it hurt her so, to see her unloving husband go. He didn't go far, just right down the hall to lay with a babybooming star. This poor little flower we saw as a weed, had the strength that nobody could see. She went through things we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies. She always believed and grabbed life by the sleeves, made her babies believe, she would never leave, gave them the strength to succeed. She would always feed her seeds, when she couldn't even water herself, wondered why she wasn't worth their help? She always felt the happiest that she wanted her babies to be, she made her babies see the way she believed they should always see life's true realities, to help us to be the things her mother never helped her to be. I always remember her promising me, she would always stand by me, whether good or bad for me, she would never abandon me, always believe in me, show me the hidden me, the one only mommy and me can see. So when you tell me I'm just like my mother, I hold my head high. I knew that one day I would be the sweetest little twinkle in my mother's big green eyes. No sad cries over here, I will always hold my mother dear. I will always be on her side because she never left mine. So always love your mother till the end of time. |
This Poem was Critiqued By: housam majid jarrar On Date: 2003-12-28 03:12:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Full of passionate love and sincerity.just marvelous.I was a bit distracted with the way you choose to present your poem horizontally,but never the less you really impressed me with the overwhelming emotions in this piece.I see nothing that needs improvement aside from the already mentioned distraction.In my own opinion a poems power comes from its ability to transfer you from one emotion to another,as if one leads to another,but in your presentation there is a break in that sequence which dulls the effect a little bit.Great job ,hope to read more of your work.
housam jarrar