This Poem was Submitted By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-17 03:30:49 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Delay

please form a line everything is fine please make way for the delay

Copyright © January 2004 Regis L Chapman

Additional Notes:
Modern life encompassed.


This Poem was Critiqued By: Irene E Fraley On Date: 2004-02-04 17:00:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.69231
Hi Regis, Today indeed! I liked this short, rhymed, metered poem. It seems as if progress has brought us all - "Hurry up and Wait" - I like the simplicity of this commentary, particularly the "calming" line 3, which is so typical of the petty government agencies of today. I always get nervouse when someone says, "everything is fine". If it's fine, why would you feel the need to tell people? Thanks for this poem. It was a fun read, Rene


This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-18 16:48:07
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.30769
The lines I find most forming are at the grocery store in which I have learnt patience...... The delay felt today was due to my getting lost on 495 heading home from a baby shower knowing my husband was waiting for dinner........frightening thought and he certainly would never make room for any delay...... In four lines you have given so much food for thought........DELAY we all experience it one way or another..... Thanks for posting and sharing with us.....look forward to reading your other work...be safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Turner Lee Williams On Date: 2004-01-18 13:34:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.76471
Regis--Nice rhyming quatrain. I like the realism, brevity, and conciseness. In this short compact piece you've said a great deal. I am reminded of an old adage used quite often in the military: "Hurry and up and wait" (oxymoronic). Thanks for sharing your effort. TLW
This Poem was Critiqued By: Sherri L Smith On Date: 2004-01-17 17:59:16
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.50000
Dear Regis, Yes a very compact little poem that does spell out modern life! Hurry up and wait used to be what my ex used to say about the Army, and it applies to a lot of other areas of life as well. Short little quatrain with lots of meaning. Sherri
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-01-17 17:23:47
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Dear Regis, This is clear/concise and does not waste words. It's also quite uniform with rhymes of line/fine and way/delay and "A" assonance with make/way/delay. The lack of punctuation makes for a simple easy flow. I think everyone in this hurry-up-world can relate to this message. It seems we have delays every where these days. I can't remember the last time I got on the highway and didn't have to stop and wait in a long line of traffic because of a wreck or some such delay. Then there's the airport, but I don't even want to go there. Your additional notes ring true for this reader. I have no suggestion for revision. Thanks for sharing this, Jennifer
This Poem was Critiqued By: arnie s WACHMAN On Date: 2004-01-17 14:36:21
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 6.85714
Shouldn't the last line read:so there will be no delay? I don't know. Man...this is almost a Haiku. Modern life in the fast lane huh?
This Poem was Critiqued By: Elaine Marie Phalen On Date: 2004-01-17 09:28:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 1.00000
Hi Regis: This could be a public announcement in any crowded setting, from supermarkets to airports. The oxymoronic "make way/for the delay" says a lot more than just those five words. We build our routines around this kind of stalling. It's annoying but we're reassured that we should be happy about it. Then there's the polite "please", as if it justifies everything. I immediately think of our local Outpatients' department, which is always full, understaffed and agonizingly slow to most patients unfortunate enough to end up there. They're too sick to go home, but not sick enough to be admitted to the hospital itself; by the time they've waited eight hours, though, some have progressed to that point! Rhyme works here and in fact, I'd say it's essential because the poem is so short that it has an epigrammatic quality. Lack of punctution also suits the piece. Glad to see you back, by the way! Brenda
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