This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-01-20 14:11:52 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Can You (Still) Get That Over the Counter?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Well, Di- You were the cutest and the best. When we were younger than this, back before t-ball or big balls- that day you lost the pissing contest - besides the fact that had you been wearing shoes - they would have been wet –  that day I knew. Now that we’re graying, bulging, sagging, and drinking from a bottle again, I’d like to say thank you, from a distance, and somewhat anonymously, behind a pen name and a publisher, and with a firm grip on the pen. Your introductory remarks and follow-up production were all I ever needed to know –  I had no doubts after that, and even today - Wow! –  can say that the thought of it – well – Maybe if I take two. And, thank you. Hope you’re well. And dry.

Copyright © January 2004 Thomas Edward Wright

This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-28 15:40:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.57377
Oh my Lord, you chuckled my hert with this one and your closing lines remind me of mother.....Hope your well and dry......well, no she is not but if you ask her she will tell you at 92 its her body and she can do what she wants.....there are days when I want to see if she can get over the counter again....hehehe....nasty. Loved the images projected, the thoughts, the read, the structure and word flow....would not change a thing.....thanks for posting and sharing with safe my friend, God Bless, Claire

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-01-27 15:00:58
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.92308
Well, t, cute/sweet connections/stories between you and this person were not known to me but I could see the closeness and sweetness you shared before. You seemed to have admired this person (physically or something!) and the feeling is not postrued. You were separated by distance until you realized that you are old now! YOU ARE NOW OLD TO TAKE TWO? You are bulging and sagging? Take a jog everyday to strengthen the bones! Just kidding! thanks for the fun, son, j
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-01-23 11:15:30
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.58333
Hi Thomas... I have only recently started to re-appreciate poetry. I have written constantly in the past five years (mostly short stories and some work on a few novels) and during that time I have had moments where I have become frustrated with and entralled by poems of all types. My basic problem is my lack of skill in interpreting some pieces. I do not feel well qualified to critique on the poetics used in many poems. However, I do like to comment on my interpretations, so here goes. I always love stories in a poem. This seems to be the story of a long lost friendship that could have been more, from a time when the difference in sexes was discovered to today's stark reality of a mutually shared hidden connection and possibly a shared problem with alcohol later in life? Could it be that the drinking problems arose by having left business unfinished? I may be way off base....I don't know. The two of you are writing and in the intro she wrote, you discovered that your feelings and thoughts were shared. The ending is sad...the acceptance that it is too late to react to the issue and the heart-felt hope that she does well, is healthy and stays sober. This is a great story in a few words. A pleasing read for all with a meaningful message...don't hesitate if you want something, and if you just can't move on it, accept your fate. Thanks for sharing this work and letting me learn more by reading closely and commenting. Mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mell W. Morris On Date: 2004-01-21 15:54:17
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
T.: Your muse is perched obviously on your shoulder as you are posting such grand poetry, the best I've seen from your pen. Your title here is just great, wish I had thought of it for a memory piece of my own. (Not quite the same category). A loveletter that will remain anonymous but "Di" would likely be thrilled to her marrow should she see it. It is a romantic piece in toto but wry and tender, poignant and plangent but not the least overly sentimental. (I don't think you capable of same). Your childhood sweetheart won you by joining your inner circle in a pissing contest, thankfully unshod but seemingly oblivious to consequences. Her daring or bothering to participate let you know you had found your girl. I am not dismissive of childhood romances as I think they initiate tendrils/tendencies to future behaviors. And yours, after all these years, brings a Wow! to your lips. After detailing most tenderly your first time, you say: "I had no doubts after that"... Di gave a gift which you realize and still appreciate as many such experiences leave scars and prove to be ego-shattering events. And saluting her at the close of your poem: "And thank you. Hope you're well. And dry." I find that humorous but also with two meanings. I've not mentioned the allits of S 1, line 3, all the internal and end rhymes: best/contest and today/say/may and two/you...etc. All the good stuff poets care about is part and parcel here but so much more, if you will. With all your wit which peeps through, you have the most tender touch at times and that delicacy leaves the reader emotionally uplifted. You likely wouldn't want your tenderness heralded but it shows through, T. It shines at times. Great poem, simple on the surface but containing a depth upon close examination. I greatly enjoyed it! Kudos! Mell-o
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-01-21 13:00:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.87500
tew: Is this when you decided to be a doctor? This is very personal. Reminds of the time I played doctor with my cousins. But then thats another story all together. *smile* you puzzle me with "Maybe if I take two." enlightenment? jj
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-20 16:28:19
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.70000
This is a bit hard to critique, as it sounds like a letter to someone very specific. I hope that when she reads it she understands, as I do not. Thanks, REEG!
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