This Poem was Submitted By: Thomas Edward Wright On Date: 2004-01-21 12:51:26 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------   this bleeping box on my hip foretells the stories of my life. i let them out one at a time, phone call by phone call, adjusting medication, selling combinations of advice and bullshit over wire to a nurse, a patient, a parent – someone else’s story inter-digitating with mine in an electronically-mediated intercourse where we each hard-sell our glory, where we each want to be the one with the bigger dic- tionary. beep-beep-beep beep-beep beep b

Copyright © January 2004 Thomas Edward Wright

This Poem was Critiqued By: Jennifer j Hill On Date: 2004-02-03 11:00:12
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.84615
Just a thought...It's your God Complexes you should be measuring and comparing...sorry...never could pass an opportunity endear. jj

This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-01-30 15:45:34
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.22222
Hi; I immediately thought of Stephen Hawking and other less brilliant people hooked up to machines to function. Not being so knowledgable about beeping machines except this thing I am typing on (that can't be it) I could only visualize that you are living (or have lived) this reality or live close to someone that does. The bigger dictionary threw me a bit (I am a lightweight, what can I say) because when I hear of machine-aided existence I would think that might be the furthest thought from one's mind...but then again if all that is left is the capacity to think, then yes...I'd wanna show them in every possible manner that I can do as much or more with my pea-brain. Your ending was very entertaining...cause when we are at the mercy of a machine and the power goes ....we're done. I need to go find some food..... TY for an interesting story in a short and comprensible structure. Mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie L Fischer On Date: 2004-01-27 17:28:31
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.66667
Thomas, It makes one wonder how we survived without all the gadgets that are at our disposal today. Cell phones, computers,etc are nice conveniences for sure but I often wonder if it wouldn't be a slower paced and friendly place if we returned to days much simpler..a time where we had time for family, friends and were not constantly on the run with our cell phones bbbeeping away. You remind me by this poem that conveniences can also be nuisances. Deb:)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-23 13:04:45
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.37838
And never being able to turn the darn thing off I guess seing you need to have that beep beep beep just to be in touch......actually, this is a cute piece, one that allows you to share your contact with others through that little box attached to your hip......are you able to sleep well with it near by.....does your wife complain much when it goes off at night? There is so much you could have added to this one but then perhaps you might run sequels to it.......Enjoyed the structure, the word flow, the images of the different conversations being had with the people on both ends of this little box...hehehe....and telephones of course.....thanks for posting and sharing with safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: Robin Ann Crandell On Date: 2004-01-21 23:19:26
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.80000
Mr. Thomas Edward Wright, You have such a very sophisticated name. But, onto the critiqe ;-) I think you have hit the head right on it this poem. It seems like everywhere I go, I too, am being called about this and that... and that and this. However, just from what I have read from this poem... your "this" and your "that" aren't like mine at all. Because yours are, "nurses," "patients," and I am sure... very concerned.. "parents." You have a gift. And even though you feel that... "adjusting medication,selling combinations of advice and bullshit" my not always be important to you... or get on your nerves...I can tell you that people look up to you and respect you for the work that you do... (in the poem) I know I respect you... I'm one of those "parents." Good poem.. I really enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing. Robin.
This Poem was Critiqued By: Jordan Brendez Bandojo On Date: 2004-01-21 17:50:42
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Hi Tom, I am laughing out loud with your beep-beep story! Just having fun with this new stimulating piece. This is full of life.... and it is your life yet I don't know the totality of your life (why not putting it in your Personal Profile here in the link? You haven't told us a single word, come on! LOL!)! bleeping box....alliterating bbbbbbeep! Nice! Beeeeeeeeeep! I ought to make my own beep as well. Haha! Many thanks for sharing this! Dan
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mark Steven Scheffer On Date: 2004-01-21 14:53:09
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 10.00000
Ho, O ribald wit! What dic- tion! What spacing - your X chromosomes opened their legs in this poem a bit. Being in the mood to quote cummings, "i salute thee" Nox
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-21 13:30:53
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.85000
I like this poem, because I just got done having surgery myself, and I saw that the doctor's life must be one full of these niggling stresses. I was overwhelmed by the constant motion at the hospital, and I can't imagine being around that all the time. I also feel like my own wife has me on a bit of an electronic leash with the cell phone. I put off getting on for years, but finally got rid of it. It seems like a bit of courage for a doctor (which you clearly are) to step outside of the warm envelope of know-it-all-ness that you must have to surround yourself with all day and just vent a bit. Well done. Thanks, REEG!
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