This Poem was Submitted By: Robin Ann Crandell On Date: 2004-01-22 04:26:40 . . . Click Here To Mail this Poem to a Friend!

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Beautiful Nature

I see you there, naked The midnight sun makes you body glisten My gentle touches on your chest - My tongue slithers from your belly button to your now hard nipples. My fingers caress your upper, inner thigh I kiss your neck as you undress me ever so slowly I nibble on your ear while I whisper the words, "I love you." You take me into your arms holding me ever so closely My naked breasts touch yours As you lick my lips Down my tongue goes Exploring every inch of your body I softly peck at our stomach As my hands wonder to your  ever so beautiful nature Your heart is beating so fast, so loud Your moans fill the once quiet room I am lifted upwards, leaing on the wall I feel weightless,  for you are my only support First gentle, then rough they become Thrusting every so deeply We are now one

Copyright © January 2004 Robin Ann Crandell

Additional Notes:
I wrote this while I was... "in the mood." This work is not perfect.. I have not changed anything from the original. This is what I was feeling at the time.. so I think it's just best to keep it that way. ~smiles~

This Poem was Critiqued By: DeniMari Z. On Date: 2004-02-07 17:08:06
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.25000
Hi Robin, Have you been reading Harlequin romance novels (smile) -- of course you've written this with your own feelings, but I'm feeling like I was reading an excerpt of a love novel - which is good - the feelings shared between two people as described in your poem is the ultimate in love. Good job. DeniMari

This Poem was Critiqued By: Debbie L Fischer On Date: 2004-01-26 21:00:20
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.63636
Wow Robin, If you were going for visuals and erotic, you certainly accomplished it with this one. You takes us each step of the way as lovers breathe magic together every inch of the way. I think you may have people breathing heavier after reading this:) You've done a great job as tou very descriptively join two together. Deb:)
This Poem was Critiqued By: Claire H. Currier On Date: 2004-01-23 17:21:59
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.39474
Well poet, being in the mood certainly helped with your writing this wonderful spacing of share such a moment, to be able to capture it onpaper not only in words but images as well, superb job......your words flow, ever from one moment to the next bringing forth images as one reads and I agree it best to leave it is truely lovely and I thank you for posting and sharing this with us.....these moments are often hard to capture but you poet have done this safe, God Bless, Claire
This Poem was Critiqued By: marilyn terwilleger On Date: 2004-01-23 16:40:10
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.40000
Hi Robin, I must confess that I was initially stunned by this piece because of it's sensuality and thruthfulness...a sure sign of a good piece of writing. But then I read it a couple of more times and putting my victorian up-bringing aside, I could see the beautiful love two people feel for each other. I also think it is well written and if you wrote it when you were so tuned in to these feelings you should leave it just as is. To start trying to change the lines and make them technically correct would be to lose the whole purpose of the poem. There will be some that think this is too 'racey' to post on a poetry site but if you open your mind and read the words as love between two people it will become beautiful instead of just sexy. Good luck...I will be intersted to read what other critiquers have to say! Blessings...Marilyn
This Poem was Critiqued By: Mick Fraser On Date: 2004-01-23 10:31:11
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 8.58333
Hi Robin; TY for the I am "in the mood!" Being a typical male specimen and easily influenced by any mention of sex, I was moved by this piece. In particular the folowing lines left certain visual pleasures dancing in my mind. "My tongue slithers from your belly button to your now hard nipples." "My naked breasts touch yours As you lick my lips" "Down my tongue goes Exploring every inch of your body I softly peck at our stomach As my hands wonder to your ever so beautiful nature" shuddering here "Your heart is beating so fast, so loud Your moans fill the once quiet room" YIKES....I gotta calm down!! "First gentle, then rough they become Thrusting every so deeply We are now one" Whew...what a read. I loved your ideas and work. There are other sites (not as reputable as this one that would love to have a posting like this. TY for sharing. Mick
This Poem was Critiqued By: Regis L Chapman On Date: 2004-01-22 14:17:40
Critiquer Rating During Critique: 9.15000
I am glad to see this written here. It's also good to put this out there. So often people don't put themselves out there with these sorts of feelings and great job just right up front for that. I like the gradual nature of this, as it's very typical of intimate sex, as opposed to just your one night stands or other deviant behaviors. Being married, I appreciate the nod to intimacy. It's also interesting the subject and the title work well on a couple of levels. From a biological standpoint, it could be said that it's out nature to reproduce (sex) and from a metaphysical standpoint, it could be said that our nature is actually one, as opposed to being as separate as we believe we are. It doesn't take sex to show this always, but it's something that everyone can relate to. Thanks, REEG!
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